My Husband and I Have Grown Apart (My Husband Is Emotionally Disconnected From Me)

You want to learn how to reconnect with your husband. Over time the two of you have drifted apart and now you feel more like you're living with an acquaintance rather than the man you adore. Many couples experience this same problem and unfortunately they do little to remedy it. If it goes unattended for too long, resentment and frustration will reach a boiling point. Improving your marriage and rebuilding the bond with your spouse needs to be your number one priority right now.

Understanding how to reconnect with your husband begins with recognizing how much the dynamic of your relationship has changed since you two married. There are several main factors that contribute to a couple drifting apart. One is that no longer are they two carefree individuals consumed solely with their growing love. Now you two have to face the responsibilities of work and financial pressures. Obviously chasing down a dollar is important to maintaining all the necessities in life. However, if you put all your time and energy into your work, the relationship is bound to suffer. Whether it's you or your husband who is consumed with work, take some time to nourish your relationship. If he tends to work late at the office, bring his dinner there. Plan a special outing just for the two of you on a Sunday and ask him to take the day off. You need to find small windows of time for the two of you to spend together, away from the pressures of life.

Another reason why couples sometimes feel disconnected is because they are focused mainly on their children. This is understandable and expected. You both want to be great parents so ensuring that happens becomes your goal in life. Even though you've now morphed into the roles of mom and dad, don't lose sight of the fact that you're still wife and husband. Plan some time alone with your husband. Ensure the children are tucked safely away at a sitter's home for the evening. Then plan a romantic night just for the two of you. Spend some time talking, lots of time laughing and indulge in intimacy too. Reconnecting in this way every few weeks will help you both to feel closer to each other again.

Make sure each and every day that your husband knows how much you love and value him. It's easy to forget to tell your spouse what they mean to you when you're rushing off to work or helping with homework. Take a few moments each day to quietly sit with him and explain how much you truly appreciate him. He'll love the gesture and it will bridge any emotional distance you two may be experiencing.

Create Closeness With Small Repairs

We all know what it feels like when you have something you need to talk about with your partner. You can't help chewing on it while you're driving or trying to fall asleep. You try to tell yourself it's no big deal, but the hurt lingers and makes you feel annoyed or distant.

But it's not only the big problems that are worth talking about. Sometimes it's good to take time to repair the small bruises of day to day life. Small repairs can lead you to understand new parts of your partner and create unexpected moments of closeness.

"I learned about a new kind of brat today," said my husband as he turned off the stove. "You know, like military brats and oil company brats like me. Well, a guy at work told me he's a missionary's kid. He went through a lot of the same things, never knowing where home is, always having to make new friends."

"Why do you call them brats?" asked Kristina, as she sat down at the kitchen table.

"It's just an expression. It just means kids," said John.

"But why brats?" I guess it's not surprising that a 14-year-old would not consider "brats" an obvious synonym for "kids."

"I don't know! It's just an expression."

"But you're not a brat."

"Yeah," I added, "We're not sure exactly what you are, but you're not a brat."

"Good one, Claire!" Kristina high-fived me and dissolved in giggles. I felt quite pleased with myself. After all, it is not often that I excel in the witty comeback so highly valued in high school freshman society. Then we noticed John was scowling at us.

True confession: At that point, we really started to laugh. I felt like I was transported back to middle school myself. The more disapprovingly the "teacher" looked at us, the more our laughter took control. Until Kristina and I were collapsed on the table with tears running down our cheeks.

Later on when we were alone, I decided I better check in with John. He said he felt picked on at first. But then he understood it was one of those 'opportunity jokes.' You make the joke because the moment arrives on a silver platter and it's begging you to make it, not because you really believe what you're saying. And he also actually enjoyed watching "his girls" have so much fun together, even if it was at his expense. (Whew!)

Was my little repair necessary? Probably not. Chances are we didn't have to worry about any lingering resentments on this one. It would have been forgotten by the next day.

But I was still glad I asked. John was touched by the attention to his feelings. Then we started talking about other times when one of us feels like the outsider. That's a common reaction in families, and it can take on a life of its own without people realizing it, so it's good to pay attention when it comes up.

Naturally, John can feel like the odd man out when Kristina and I bond over girl stuff. Or when he has to navigate the sensitivities of two females at the same time. Sometimes, I feel left out when they talk about video games or anime, or just because they have the blood bond.

Don't think I'm saying you should make an issue out of every paper cut in your relationship. Too much talk about problems is as bad as too little. But the right dose of small repairs can create nice moments of closeness. And make your partner feel loved and attended to. When you both feel that way, you'll find you need major repairs far less often.

It's all up to you! If you don't take this action to save your marriage, then who will?

Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again. There are proven steps that are amazingly powerful that will help you overcome conflicts and breathe life back into your marriage. This is a plan you do not want to pass by, Click here to see the proven steps on how to save your marriage.

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