My Ex Just Wants To Be Friends But I Want More (When Your Ex Wants To Be Friends After No Contact)

No matter why your ex left you, the fact still remains that you are feeling lonely and desperate. Your desperation has reached such alarming heights that you just want to be with him or her, anyhow. Even if this means that you are just a 'good friend' to remain close to your ex. Your logic is simple and understandable. You want to get your ex back, and find no other way to remain close this individual, other than taking the 'let's be friends' route.

Are you out of your mind? Do you think you can ever get your ex back by taking the friendship route? What makes you so sure that even if your ex is not with someone new today, that he or she would not find someone tomorrow? Sooner than later, this is bound to happen and as a 'friend' you would be merely treated as a sandbag, an emotional support and a convenient, non-demanding sounding board. If you are happy with playing second fiddle in someone's life, that also someone you loved so dearly as your ex, then go right ahead and commit emotional hara-kiri. Why spend so my time and energy to get your ex back?

Take the worst case scenario where your ex has moved in with someone after deserting you. There is nothing to get upset over this as it would not come in the way to get your ex back. First of all, such relationships on the 'rebound' are usually short-lived and secondly because, it is perfectly possible for someone to love two people at the same time. It is all about meting different emotional needs. While you might be fulfilling his or her intellectual hunger, the new lover could be more satisfying in bed. Even then, if it is that lost 'love' that you are looking for when you want to get your ex back, you have to keep in mind that the new lover is precisely looking for this from your ex. So essentially, you are competing against your rival in winning the 'love' from your ex! Do you think this is a comfortable situation to be in? Sure, you want to get your ex back, but at what cost?

However madly desperate you might be to get your ex back, by being 'friends' with your ex, you are voluntarily getting trapped in an awkward situation which can rob you of your self-esteem and pride. This is, according to me, too high a price to pay even for the sake of the love of your life. There are surely ways to get your ex back which may not be so self-demeaning.

Common Mistakes When Trying to Get Your Ex Back

Breaking up is really a difficult thing to do especially if you are the one who gets dumped. You may want to get your ex back so badly and being in this situation can lead you to do things that you might only end up regretting in the end. Letting your broken heart rule over you is not really the perfect way to win back an ex.

So if you just went through a bad breakup, before you execute what you are planning to do to win your ex back, brace yourself and remember these common mistakes after a breakup.

1. Overanalyze the breakup. After all the wonderful moments that you have shared together but still things didn't work out I'm pretty sure you have a lot of questions in your mind. You want to know what went wrong. They say that it is called a breakup because it is broken. There is no clearer explanation than that. Trying to pinpoint any detail that caused the breakup will only add more hurt and stress to you. And all these heartaches will only blur your mind even more. So just accept what happened, let your heart heal. In time you will see the situation in an objective point of view and understand what happened. And with a clear mind you can now plan properly on what to do next. Whether you really want to win your ex back or be happy in a new life without your ex.

2. Stalk you ex. With modern technology and the popularity of social networking sites you might be tempted to obsess over your ex's Facebook profile. You should try to stop yourself from doing this because, first, because it will do you no good. To know that your ex is happily moving on with her or his life will only open a wounded heart that has not yet totally recovered. Second, your ex might think that you're a psycho and will only push your ex farther away from you.

3. Prank calls and text message terrorism. As much as you want to hear his/her voice or beg them to come back, making phone calls won't help and so is barraging your ex with text messages. It can be very annoying, your ex will just scorn you more and old issues will just resurface which makes healing more difficult.

4. Looking for sympathy. Even if you are close with his/her family and friends, you shouldn't try talking and persuading them to lean on your side. They won't be able to help you convince him/her to make-up if it's clear to them that it's really over. You might even look pitiful to them if you continue to do so.

5. Ex-bashing. As much as you hate your ex for dumping you, you wouldn't want to look wretched and go around telling your friends about his/her faults and mistakes. This will only make him or her lose the remaining respect they have on you. Also, reliving bad experiences won't be good for your health.

6. Breakup tryst and makeup sex. Don't plan for makeup sex if ever you'll talk again. It isn't effective for your situation. You might just end up feeling being used and shamble your already failing self esteem.

7. Getting even. Getting a relationship after your breakup just to show him/her you're fine and get even with them or make them jealous is not a healthy thing to do. It's just plain vindictive! You are just hurting yourself and the other person you used for revenge.

After the breakup, it is understandable that you are still hurt or bitter. It's okay to feel this way, but don't wallow on these negative emotions. Instead, love yourself, start doing things that can help you and make you a better person. Instead of dwelling in the past, face you future with much wisdom and enthusiasm. You are a wonderful person who has so much love to give.

Pay Close Attention Here-

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