My Boyfriend Left Me But I Still Love Him (My Boyfriend Just Up And Left Me)

There is no shortage of misleading advice floating about on how to get back with your ex boyfriend. Most of it is the same old 'sit down and take a good hard look at the situation, sacrifice, compromise, and express your feelings bla bla bla. Bla bla.

If you want to successfully get back together with your ex boyfriend, then forget all that. Because right here I'm going to share with you the truth.

First of all, I'll assume it was him who did the breaking up with you. And not the other way around. If it was you though, that's fine. The same principles apply, and it actually makes your job a lot easier,

Now, there can be any number of reasons he might give as to why you broke up.

"Not happy with the relationship"

"Not working out like it should be"

"Doesn't feel right to me"

"Punishing you for something (i.e. cheating or something else)"

Etc. Etc.

It doesn't really matter. The truth of the matter is there are two primary reasons for a guy to break up with you. They are:

A) You put too much pressure on him. By pressure I mean you were always saying you loved him, you acted completely devoted just like a girlfriend 'should'. But instead of bringing you closer together, because of a low self-esteem within him he looked down on you for loving him. It's messed up, I know, but that's how it works a lot of the time. With women too.

B) He's bored. You've stopped being a challenge to him because you act like you are completely conquered all the time.

Or it can be a combination of both.

So, if that 'usual' advice of sit down and talk it out isn't going to work, what will?

First understand something. You cannot change or control who they are. The only thing you can do is control who you are and how you act towards your ex.

The good news is that you don't need to change your ex. By following the principles below, you'll have him wanting you back in no time.

Get out there to get him back

The most powerful thing you can do to get your ex back is NOT to sit at home working yourself into a food induced coma and depression.

Instead, you need to get out there and start dating other people.

Yes, other people. If you have other men in your life, it becomes much easier to get more. It's the same with a lot of things, money, a job, love.... The more you already have, the more you get.

Not to mention that it is the absolute best way to reverse the chase. To go from you pursuing him to having him pursue you for a change.

If your life depends on it, it ain't gonna happen

The more that you think you absolutely must get your ex back, the less likely it is to happen. You need to be willing to let go (scary, I know) if you want them to come running back to you.

When you 'must' have something your body gives of a certain vibe. It's the vibe of neediness. Neediness tells other people that you've got very little self-esteem and pushes them away. That's why to successfully get your man back, you need to play a bit of cat and mouse. You need to have them pursue you.

'Work at it' and you can kiss your chances goodbye

What is 'working' on your relationship? To most people this conjures images of sitting down and pouring out your feelings, arguing, criticizing your mate, and trying to change them.

It's exactly all this effort that is killing your relationship in the first place!

It is just not fun. Not for your ex, and not for you. Just think for a moment about what you're trying to accomplish. Getting back together. Right?

Well if every time you talk with or see your ex you get into a deep, drawn out conversation, how likely is it that they want to see you again? Compare that to what he would get from other girls who are earlier in the courtship stage... getting from fun, flirty, light conversation, no complaining, no trying to change him.

If you want to fix your relationship and get him back. Keep your interactions fun, light-hearted and above all do not pressure him to do anything.

The best way to kill all romantic feelings forever

If you want to make sure your ex gets any ideas of romance (towards you) out of his head, and hesitates to even think of you in that way in the future. The method is easy. Simply find something to complain about every time you talk or meet with him. Find fault with him, and criticize things he does and says.

If you do this enough, he will never want to see you again. Guaranteed. And yes, even if they're 'constructive' criticisms.

How to increase your level of desirability ten-fold with one simple change

Like I mentioned earlier, one of the most common relationship-killers is acting too 'conquered'. Well, it's the same once you're trying to win back your ex.

Lay off the pressure. Stop calling. Stop saying you love him. Stop responding to all of his emails or text messages.

Do subtly let him know you are seeing others. Do act friendly.

Resist getting too close too soon. And when he does start showing interest again, don't just jump right back into your old mode. Offer some resistance. Keep up the challenge.

Following the principles above will in almost every case get your ex boyfriend 'back on the hook' especially once he sees you with someone else. However many people have questions like:

"What if he's already with someone else?"

"Should I just go up and ask him straight ahead to get back?"

"Should I try to 'get back' at him?"

The answer to the second question should be a quite obvious 'no' to you by now. But what if he has already 'moved on'? Honestly, it's not the big obstacle that you think it is. In most cases it's just a rebound girl, and once he sees that you're moving on and dating others too, his interest will spike again. Once that happens, it's only a matter of time, and following the right strategies.

As far as 'getting back' goes. I would say, only if you do not really want to get back together with him again. As anything malicious is going to do nothing but harm the relationship.

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