My Beginning

I honestly don't know what or who non-Native people think of when they're asked to think of Indigenous Americans. Moreso when one has a last name like mine.

Growing up it wasn't a big deal for me because I didn't think of it as a big deal. My siblings and I were given the history of our paternal family name and though we were sad for the loss of our Traditional Native Name, we were very proud of the family name we carried now...if not a bit sad as well. I know, confusing. We were raised with the history of our Maternal family history - the Oglala Lakota people and as much as possible of our Paternal family history - the Oklahoma Choctaw people. My Mom taught us what she learned from our Paternal Great Grandma, who didn't speak any english. It was translated to her by our Paternal Grandma. What surprised me is that our Dad ended up learning his family history as well.

My parents lived with my Paternal Grandparents in Oklahoma before I was born, until I was about 9 or 10 months old. According to my Mom I was fluent in both the Oglala Lakota and Oklahoma Choctaw languages as a child before we moved away from Oklahoma and I was to start school. In order to avoid problems in class my parents figured it would be best to teach me english. In doing so the use of our traditonal languages was stopped altogether. I have been trying to relearn both languages. Especially since my Mom passed away, as have my Maternal and Paternal Grandmas - some of the last traditional speakers of the language.

My FIRST clear memory of school is an assignment in elementary school. We had an assignment to make a collage of our family history. By that time my parents were separated and my Mom had my siblings and I anyway. So my collage read "I'm Sue and Proud" plus listed all the great things about being part of the Tribe. My teacher loved my presentation and quietly pulled me aside after class to correct the spelling of 'Sue' to 'Sioux'. I showed my Mom the presentation when I arrived home and asked why the Tribe was spelled the way it was. She explained but said that we call ourselves Lakota anyway. I said, OK. Then proceeded to put my stuff in my room. That was in kindergarten. I have various images of school and classes at different ages after that.

The most fun part of my life is that I grew up in Boulder, Colorado. We moved there about 1975...I think. Both my parents were offered the opportunity to attend the University of Colorado on Boulder - Go Buffs! I am 48 years old now. I have lived outside of Colorado I think a total 7 years of my life. Other than that I've always returned to Colorado.

I have gone to California for Spring Break one year and saw the ocean. It only made me miss the mountains even more. I even had the chance to fly to Washington DC for a conference in college. That scared the heck out of me but it was fun!

Being the oldest of 5 children I honestly thought I would at least have my Bachelor's Degree in Physics by now. I discovered in elementary school that I LOVE math and science. I also hoped that I would be close to getting my Doctorate as well. But of course life never goes the way one wants or hopes.

Thus far I've had PLENTY of non-epileptic seizures that have also been identified as TIA's or minor strokes. The first while I was driving so I drove into a light pole and broke both of my legs. While looking at a brain scan afterwards the neurologist asked about a scar he noticed. He wanted to know if I had any incidents when I was younger. I told him about an incident after football practice (yes, I played football) in junior high, I was in the girls locker room changing after practice and I remember seeing myself falling to the floor in slow motion. I woke up, I don't kn0w how long afterwards, got dressed and went home. No, I didn't tell my Mom. I should have but I was scared she would have taken me off the team. The neurologist said THAT would agree with the age of he scar and would be my first seizure. Am on medications to prevent future ones.

Then - I have had issues with my heart racing since childhood. My Primary Doctor referred my to a cardiologist. That cardiologist discovered a hole in my heart. He said that is what has been causing the arrythmia. But since it seemed to have increased he referred me to a heart specialist. I was put on a heart monitor for a month because the specialist didn't believe I had arrythmia. Lucky me my heart started racing for over 12 hours, 2 days in a row. One day I had to go to the ER. The heart specialist told me to return the monitor after 2 weeks. Apparently with the 2 episodes alone he scheduled me for an ablation procedure. The way he explained it I will hopefully be able to get rid of the heart meds I've been using for the last 20-something years of my life.

MORE good news - I was having a difficult time seeing a couple of months ago. Honestly I thought I scratched the lenses of my glasses. But after looking at both of them I realized they were fine. I scheduled an appointment with my Primary Doctor. She referred me to an Eye Doctor. Turned out I had cataracts. In both eyes! But the right eye was more severe, I was almost blind! Plus, I had a tear in the left eye which explained flashing lights. I was scheduled for laser surgery to fix the tear right away then scheduled for cataract removal surgery right afterwards.

The removal surgery was interesting. I admit I'm not a rich person, not even a middle class person. Heck I'm poor. But when I was scheduled for cataract surgery I was offered $1,500 / eye lenses!! I admit I did try to raise the money. I thought those were the cheapest lenses available! I finally had to tell the surgeons office that I couldn't raise the money. Was told no problem. They do offer free lenses but they wouldn't give me the great vision that the pricey lenses would. I said no problem, I had been wearing glasses since I was about 10 years old...pretty much my whole life. Wouldn't be a big deal for me. So the change was made on the paperwork. Surgery days came and after completion of both I have 20/20 vision in one eye and 20/25 in the other. The only catch is I need to carry and wear reading glasses now. I've made sure to obtain enough to have a pair in the living room, bedroom as well as one in the bag I carry with me all the time. Plus lots of extras in case I lose one. I guess the only other catch is I need to wear sunglasses when I go outside in bright light. Hadn't realized cataracts dimmed my vision as much as they did.

Lots more to write about things coming up in the future. Not to mention things to share from the past. Will write later.