Moving Back In To Home After Separation (Tips For When You're Separated But Want To Reconcile With Your Spouse)

The word separation has a negative connotation. Instead of seeing it as a way to alleviate the tension in a relationship and thinking clearly on your own, you may consider the separation as the end of your relationship.

Not all relationships have the same fate. After a separation, your problems may be solved so that you do not have to be separated again.

You can eliminate your troubles and get back together after a separation, provided you know what to do. An essential point to understand is that a relationship needs to be sustained. You can not start afresh and then repeat the previous mistakes once more.

Therefore, it is high time that you determine the real reasons that led to the separation. What appears to be the reason at first may just be the superficial layer of the matter. So, dig deep inside.

Emotionally, you may be blocked and thus, can not find out the reasons. That is why you need to step back and use this precious time to rescue your relationship.

The next thing after finding the problem in your relationship is obviously to work as a team with your partner in fixing it.

The difficult part consists of detecting what is wrong. Couples who skip or can not do this step often witness the destruction of their relationship. You have to talk to your partner and find solutions together. Make compromises where needed.

If changes need to be made, go ahead and make them in order to make things work in your relationship. You should forget old matters and start anew. People tend to neglect this part.

A relationship needs to be repaired when things go wrong. You should be able to deal with problems in the future also. Prepare yourself not just for today but for the future as well. You only have to put in time and work hard.

Seven Easy Proactive Steps to Build a Strong Marriage

Sometimes we think that since we are married that everything should go well. We have the attitude that since we know that we love one another that we should be able to just set things on autopilot and everything should take care of itself. Where did we acquire this attitude? Partly from the myths we learn when we are young about marriage. However, our marriages will benefit greatly if we take an active role rather than a passive one.

First, I believe we all have a purpose in life. We are all made differently and have different personalities. And we have been given different gifts to explore and make use of to benefit others and ourselves. One very positive thing we can do for our spouse is to encourage them to fulfill their potential in life. If they are good at writing, encourage them to write, so on and so forth. We all need encouragement in this area. It is very easy to get side tracked in this world with the needs of our every day lives. If we can remind our spouse and support them in the use of their gifts, they will be much happier and so will we.

Second, exercise together. If this means taking a fifteen minute walk together after dinner or at least three times per week, then by all means do so. Walking is the kind of activity that promotes conversation and you will find yourselves discussing matters that you did not know you had on your minds. It could be a discussion about something that happened during the day or about something in your future. However, it is bound to be beneficial and helpful in keeping the communication lines open.

Third, ask your spouse at least once a week how they are doing with their household responsibilities. You are being proactive in asking this. This prevents the situation when one of you begins to resent the other because they feel overburdened. This is especially true if you are going through a life change, such as having a new baby, or one of you has a new schedule because of a new job. You may have to readjust how you split up the household responsibilities and planning for it in advance can prevent problems.

Fourth, the same is true of money matters. Talk openly with your spouse about money. This can be an area of differing opinions and you have to realize that money is not a static situation. By this, I mean opinions of how money should be handled in relationships can change. For example, if a spouse gets a raise, then there can be different expectations on how this "extra money" should be handled. Should you save it, put it into a retirement fund, or allow it to be spent; and if you are going to spend it, how are you going to spend it. Talk to your spouse about these things and make an agreement about them. Compromise if necessary.

Five, talk to your spouse about their health. Take an interest and make sure they are getting all the medical care they need and the right kind. Help them if they have a medical ailment. Do some research if necessary and find the right doctor for them and make sure they are taking the right medicine or supplements. This is the time they may need you the most.

Six, enjoy eating a healthy diet together. You will both feel good doing this. And with a healthy diet, you will be able to exercise, have more energy, and have a more positive outlook.

And seven, make sure there is humor in your lives and in your relationship. Find things to laugh about together. Developing a sense of humor is important in life itself and is a great stress reliever. Jobs and our lifestyles can be very stressful so we have to find ways to add humor to our lives. A well known author, Norman Cousins found out in his book "Anatomy of an Illness" that it even can be critical to recovery from very serious illnesses.

So how do we bring humor into our lives? Watch a funny movie together, or better yet, a romantic comedy. Go out to a comedy club for an evening of fun or a show that has a comedic element to it. Everyone has their favorite type of comedy. Some people like slapstick comedy and others like situational or black comedies. If you do not feel you have a desire to see comedy or do not have a sense of humor, you might have to develop a sense of humor and see what types of comedy appeal to you. If this is the case, I highly suggest you make a big effort to do this because the payoff for you and your spouse are tremendous for your relationship and also for your health.

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Divorce does not have to be your only option. Even if it feels as though your relationship can't be saved because of the ongoing conflicts between you and your spouse, it can be. There are techniques that you can begin using today that will not only stop a divorce, but will help also you build a stronger and more loving marriage. To learn more visit: Steps to Save Your Marriage