MOONLIGHT

We met in moonlight on a spring night.

The stars were out, the moon was bright.

Thank God, you picked up the phone,

my heart was breaking,

I felt so all alone,

I just wanted you to be home.

I was living in another life,

separated after another horrid fight.

A life not filled with you.

Where my prayers might not be true

A life where you do not exist

Where hopes and dreams were never missed.

I called you at 3 AM

I melted to your voice, but then,

Please meet me in the park tonight

I ache so bad, why did we fight.

I love you so,

I hope you always know.

My love is like a river

and I can’t stop it’s flow. and

I hope you always know,

***

I’m so in love with you.

This isn’t a normal thing to do.

The world’s asleep, I am so sad.

The love you gave

the best I’ve had.

May we sit on a picnic table at night,

in the park, in the moonlight

and swear by stars above ,

we will pinky swear our love.

The sun’s coming up, I see the first rays.

I’ll turn to you, you’ll hold my glaze.

This is a new day my love.

I pray my words are enough.

I pray to Heaven above

today won’t be the end of our love.

Let’s take our harsh words away.

This is going to be a beautiful day.

Let’s not think about the past.

I know if we try, our love will last.

a new day, a new beginning

just like yesterday, we are still winning.

***

This was one of my last efforts to put my marriage back together. My immature behavior was an emotional reaction to her actions. We had passion that became misdirected. We were children when we married, and so immature.

I couldn’t cope with us growing up and us growing apart.

She was the love of my life, but I didn’t deserve her, in so many ways.

I still can’t stop crying and feeling that it was a love that was meant to be, and also impossible for me. It’s probably not advisable to run your life, totally based on feelings. I loved her, but I didn’t like her.

But the feelings that I have for that woman, consumes me every day.

I can’t unlove her. I fell in love before I knew that we were an impossible couple. I probably still, deep inside, still think of myself as “her man”.

I thought we were beautiful together.

In time, she should be easy to forget. I wish you could tell my inner self that.

I think about her every day, and I keep searching for solutions for a problem that no longer exhists. There are no solutions and I don’t think there ever were any solutions. We simply were not meant to be a couple.

It’s just that I cannot accept it.

As I feel the familiar feel of my tears rolling down, I am strangely thankful that at least I still have painful memories of her. Perhaps that is better than to not remember her at all.