Memories: 1 June 2025

1 June 2025

4:40 am I think I may have another “industrial injury”. My lungs are “not happy”. I have struggled to sleep. Time to give up the ghost and make a mullein tea to a) try to drive the metal particulate (if any!) out of my lungs and b) it makes me drowsy so I will sleep.

I worked so hard yesterday that my hands are still cramping. I had a really hot epsom salt bath and washed my hair before I went to bed. So that might have caused the energy surges too.

That and I skipped out on dancing this weekend so my body throws a tantrum each time I don’t give it three or four hours at least once a week of frenetic exercise. Creature of habit.

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1 June 2024

A misty rainy cold day. I nursed my bronchitis by resting in bed today. Best place to be on such a day as this!

1 June 2023

On the tail of Covid and the Ukraine war…now the MOTHERFUCKING BASTARDS are threatening nuclear fallout. Have a nice day. People of Earth. The louche feeders are making a fortune in doom and gloom prophesies. It’s an industry. Shame on them.

Today is another beautiful day. Yesterday I had two teeth fixed. An actual miracle given how long they were left to rot in my skull. But gratitude for this timely treatment which will sustain me on this planet a bit longer.

The dentist was excellent. Life is good. Be the best version of yourself. Create. Co-Create. Never let the bastards grind you down.

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1 June 2020

Otto Titsling inventor and Kraut. Off to have my breasts squished, popped, Cisero-ed. Radiation sickness incoming...

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Having some weird kind of breakdown. Probably caused by finally completing the house sorting. Sort of like flogging a dead horse: like my last romantic overture. Reaching out to dead loves: like a rubber chicken being swung around in a dark closet.

Smacking down all hopes and dreams and even confident jangling devices of rare positivity. Like a cunt.

Oh well. Next?!

I wonder when I will ever stop being a cuntish cunty cunt and a psychedelic dreamer and loving monsters!

It’s a hobby....

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2 June 2019

Wow! I just woke up at 3 pm. I must have been exhausted.

I had another vivid dream...something about going to a church service with friends who had an 18 month old baby that was walking and talking and extremely intelligent. The child could already read complex geometry. Like a tiny midget Einstein.

It was a cute kid but so advanced in such a tiny form as to be a bit unnerving. Anyway somehow this Jewish woman who barely ever sets foot in shule (Temple or Synagogue) agreed to go to this service with them. (This would never happen in real life.)

Anyway we climb a lot of almost rickety wooden stairs and it was almost like a Quakers meeting as the people were mostly silent. I was feeling out of my depth as I wore my usual stilettos and just climbing the stairs with the baby in my arms, had seemed dangerous.

Someone handed me a prayer book and asked me to read out loud to lead the service. What? A newcomer who is not even Christian? I politely tried to comply. There were lines in English and underneath transliterations in another language.

I assumed it was Aramaic so I stupidly attempted to read them. “Chprs” with strange grammar points, under the first word. It came out sound like I was spitting.

I felt completely embarrassed and humiliated. I asked “This is not Aramaic...? I can’t pronounce this language? What is it?”

The person who handed me the prayer book rolled their eyes but smiled kindly “It is Scottish language”. I said “Oh like Gaelic?”

They looked at me like a dimwitted fool. “Older than that”. “Ok ok I will stick to just reading the English then.”

I read as eloquently as the last vestiges of my dignity would allow. The people smiled with pleasure as I felt somehow initiated or at least respected. But I had no intention of returning.

Again as in my earlier dream today the light was bright and clear and colours were distinct and it felt like real life except for the absurdity of the gifted toddler and the strange church meetings.

Anyhoo I know why I was dreaming of Scottish people as last night, I finished watching a show called Shetland which is a detective show. Ahh the midget baby image makes sense now. Shetland as in Shetland pony. My poor brain is throwing up similes as it slowly defragments itself in the dream state.

Anyway the brightness of the dreams bodes no evil omen. Blue skies, clear waters and pristine imagery even if a bit lost in translation.

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I woke after one of my intense recurrent dreams. So vivid it was like being there. Emptying out an empty shop and adjoining home of stock but unable to the remove large items like fridges and furniture so I was stuffing smaller items in bags.

The shop had belonged to my ex husband and even my daughter came to help but left in a huff after a short while. The fridges and were stuffed with food which seemed still relatively ok (I was frantically checking use-by dates lol).

My ex seemed depressed and even a tad suicidal. There were much valuable items in the home and store but he had not organised a removalist so was resigned to just leave it all there.

He was flying into brief rages during the dream, accusing me of carpet bagging (which is actually a grand family tradition in his family in real life..ugh).

I calmed him down a few times by reminding him that there was no point in letting it all go to waste and we should gather up what we can at least carry. The dream activities had the feeling of loss, of being stripped bare even though the colours and light were so life-like and clear. I opened a huge fridge and was shocked by seeing lots of food prepared in the freezer.

In a living room in the small flat or house attached to the shop was an old fashioned timber music cabinet or perhaps a victrola but it played old records. I got upset then, about losing that interesting piece. I went into a cupboard and found old tape recorders and tapes and cds and even PlayStation games which for some odd reason I got excited about and stuffed into my bag.

But there was also a deep sadness and a sense of threat: of being dispossessed of our rightful entitlements to the property and business. Like being satisfied with scraps and trinkets while a bank or some other party took everything of real value.

A theme of my life. A recurrent nightmare: loss mixed with threat and the inability to thrive or prosper or be successful.

Beware the carpet baggers, schnorrers and personal space violators lest they eat your soul: we already ate all the cake!

I went dancing last night. I was feeling a little depressed to be frank. I love Alter Egos and had fun dancing with Luke and Richie.

However the vibe is off there. As the night wore on, and I became more tired I felt increasingly a sense of threat. Some young Asian-Australian guy (aged 19!) was hitting on me (ew!). He told me I look like Natalie Portman but thicker! Whattt?

He said “Yeah with bigger boobs and a fatter arse.”

I don’t look a thing like Natalie Portman. I don’t have a scrap of her talent and the only thing we have in common is we are both Jewish. Although my jewishness is more ish-y as time goes by. But it was an interesting “line” from the young lad anyway.

I told him that was not a compliment and shooed him away after he kept harassing me, demanding my name and when I would not give it he told me I think am Something Special. I smiled. Said to him “ you must be 22 if you are a day?” He replied “19”.

I told him he needed to learn how to talk to older women and treat them with respect then told him to go away. He tried to hold his ground so I told him if he did not go away and leave me alone I would make him go away. Hmmm. So that ruined my evening slightly. Something special. Yeah. Fuck off kid.

I returned to the dance floor just as Alters were playing Iris and the bass guitarist knows that is one of my most favourite songs so he grinned at me. He was happy to see me return to my infamous spot. Lovely guy.

I looked around the bar and most of the regulars were absent. They have killed it with the no drinking on the dance floor rule. Killed it. It was a quiet night with new faces but the vibe is gone. Fourth week in a row I have felt the wrongness of it.

So I came home, still feeling a little depressed but all will be well. I will gather my emotional resources and keep on dancing. Maybe find other venues again. Even Richie went home early at 12.30 am. Hmmm.

He had said something weird early in the evening about me being the only woman there. I said “Don’t be silly, there are plenty of women on the dance floor!” He replied “But none of your style. You are the only one”. I nodded.

He said he has a beautiful beach house in Mooloolaba filled with beautiful girls and he doesn’t know why he is at the casino except to see me of course! Sweetness.

Noticing he has a bit of a harmless crush, I looked up at the architecture and said “I know why we are here...New Orleans, Baby”. He laughed and we both yelled out “New Orleans”.

Mind you he is American so has probably actually been to New Orleans. While I have been stuck in parochial Brisbane for over 30 years (yegads, almost 31! Going nowhere on my unicycle hurdy gurdy ride through Hell). But I love our little joke.

I think he too, is sensing the shift of energy and intention at the casino. He is like me, extremely attuned and perceptive like a fucking Geiger Counter. Maybe it’s our PTSD or maybe we were born with it, or maybe it’s our mature age.

Anyway I was glad to have Luke, Richie with me and for the fond encouragement of the bass guitarist who I really like and respect. I still remember the time he got frazzled as he thought my actual hamming was real flirting and quickly told me he is married. I like that in a man. Decency and respect. A fine musician and a good man.

It’s funny how you stumble across people like that out in the scene. Authentic good kind people. I should find out his name one day lmao. But it would be weird to ask him now after all these years. (Dear god I have turned into my mother!). A name is sacred however. Why I chose not to gift it to the predatory man-child later in the evening.

Oh well. Beautiful morning . Ding ding ding. New breaths. New day. New adventures. New beginnings in the smoking burnt out ends of my heydays. But oh, what fun!

I attached one of the little brass bells to my car keys. So that was weird and cute! Metaphor for my life.

1 June 2017

I just had a call from the council Dispute resolution. They told me they only do mediation and I have to call the council. They asked me what I planned to do about the barking.

I stated that my dog rarely barks but the 2 women who regularly stand on my street corner and chat deliberately for up to an hour deliberately baiting my dog to bark are the source of the problem.

I stated I was out last night toiletting him as I currently have no fences so I was able to hear a large dog barking (loud deep voice) up the street where one of the women who harass my dog, lives.

So the person who complained lives directly opposite her house (if that is the complainant) and would know it is not my dog so this is deliberate harassment and vilification on council's part and the part of my snobby elitist neighbourhood.

I live very quietly and keep to myself. Bobo rarely barks except when these women stand there on the street corner in the afternoons. I even stared at one of them last week as I wanted them to know I am onto their little twisted game. So this is how they escalate.

I also mentioned the other issue of the neighbours blocking my driveway with a broken down car that has been there for 6 months. More harassment that council refused to deal with.

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I just changed my phone plan with Optus to Sim only $50 a month as sick of paying a small fortune. I will give myself some respite, software update my current phone before giving up on it completely and getting a new one. 3G is ridiculous given what I pay each month.

The nice man suggested if the iPhone does not respond to update to take it to Apple Store as if it is a problem with the phone they sometimes replace the phone. Hmmm. We shall see what the Universe provides (or derives).

I have been to BCC to state my case about Beauregard and the false allegations of his "excessive barking". I told them how 2 women deliberately bait him regularly in the afternoon and the complainant may even be one of those women.

I told them Qld Police have systemically abused me and refused to assist in the past and I will not be getting rid of this dog while being bullied and targeted by neighbourhood psychopaths. So once again, we shall see!

Interestingly once I decided in my heart and mind that I am ready and willing to move to Byron the universe conspired to push me out of my home in a rather fractious negative way lmao.

The universe KNOWS I need money to live in Byron as I cannot transfer out of this State. So the Universe can treat me with kindness and generousity and decency so I can have a peaceful happy existence far away from the usual irksome stressors of Arseholery.

Thank You Universe. Together we can do It!!

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Nerves Shot. Mind blown. Onwards and Upwards. Ride, Sisters!!!

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My dog is all kosher now. Desexed and registered with the Council.

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I went to bed at 7.30 pm as I was chilled to the bone so put on my electric blanket and have just finished watching a horror movie "The Quiet Ones".

Beauregard is still sleeping on the couch and refuses to come to bed with Mama tonight. He is exhausted and a tad overwhelmed from his big day yesterday in Byron Bay, digging holes on the sand. Dear little dog.

I had gotten up to give him kisses and check on him but he just yawned and stayed on the feather cushions on the couch. So I will leave him there for the night. Sometimes we all need our space.

I am going to sleep now. 9.25 pm. Sophie is mewling beside my bed. I hope the little buggar lets me sleep. She was bouncing all around the house from 4 am this morning.

I eventually threw her outside at 6 am. No wonder I am exhausted. She never gets on my bed so this is unusual. Probably because the dog is not here and it is a cold night so she wants my Soul (I mean body heat. Ahem!)

Laila Tov, Kulam! A bientot! Until tomorrow.

(Good night, everyone. See you soon!)

1 June 2016

11.22 am. Good Moaningggg! I have a cold. Also been awake most of the night with reflux. Old age is not for sissies, or mean ass bros either.

On a quirky note Mushu staggered home this morning at 10 am. He had been out all night. Very likely doing the Wild Thing. He was so tired he looked at me cross-eyed ( and he is not Siamese).

So I put him in my bed and attempted to snuggle with him. He stunk of sex and dead things. He came out of the drain so who knows what calibre of gfs he has in there (and prey!). "My son, your life is going down the drainnnn...."

I need to get money together asap to knacker the poor wee bastard. He is such a small cat, having been the runt of his mother's litter and abandoned by her at 5 weeks old.

Still he has had a nice life with me. In spite of his poor start and short-comingggs. He is just over 18 months so he is even slow to discover sex. Awwww!

Anyway, he is such a sweet-natured puss. Even tolerates Beauregard's rambunctious attentions/affections. Hmmm. Maybe that is why he stayed out last night. Mental health break? Socks was out too. But now they are both happily snoozing in their separate Boudoirs!

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Fucking ill! But I have been out with the Beau to Overflow to buy a new swivel stake thing. A new collar and a couple of new leashes. I also got him a cute black bandanna. It is a pity they didn't have a red or blue one. In ALDI I got cat litter and a big bag of chompy type Schmackoes the spoilt wee brat doesn't like. Oh well.

I got some olives and sundried tomatoes.

All the time my nose streaming, sneezing and tummy pains. Grrr. Stomach flu. This has been coming on since last Thursday. Now it is attacking me viciously.

Lots more rest needed.

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On goes the heater. I can't stand the cold. Even lying under my mohair throw I am freezing.

1 June 2015

1 June 2014

I am having a wonderful night. Rising above the ashes!

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Just got home from a huge night dancing at the pub and the casino. The casino Livewire Bar went OFF. I had a marvellous time. Then I took Jo home. Oyyy! Lol!

I got her to bed then came home for a shower and saw the huge bruise on my shoulder from Friday's Fracas. Double Oyy! Glad I didn't let the bastards grind me down!

My feet hurt from dancing all night. I feel amazing, albeit in pain.

Nice to come home to the cats, chooks, fish and a very quiet Sacred Space.

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Early night tonight. I am going on a road trip to Grafton so my grandson Ramon The Rare can choose himself a desexed lady rabbit to have as a companion and fellow crew of Clown Play. Awesome!

He needs to choose wisely as apparently rabbits are quite particular about their mates. LMAO. I have visions of him thumping in disgust at every female bunny he sees. Surely he has better luck with his love life than his poor rejected Human Grandmother. Awwww! Tear!

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1 June 2011

Going to T'womb (Toowoomba) tomorrow to help my fave girls move house and clean. Taking Miss Bella Rosa with me so I don't fret while I'm gone all day and night. Hey Bella! We are going on a road trip! (She likes those!)

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Disappointed I didn't get my hair done tonight and have to wait til Monday. So much for my “I am Beautiful” meditation. I sorta know I'm beautiful but dark roots is a bit of a downer. Might have to go back to brunette. Shame cos I was waiting for the bit when blondes really do have fun! LMAO

Copyright Tanya Désirée Arons