Meeting a Soulmate Later in Life

Abigail met him online. How did that happen? She still cringes inwardly when people ask how they met. She was not young anymore and she had never been married. There had been a few serious relationships but they didn’t last. What was wrong with her? she often wondered.

Well for one, she had always been painfully shy. If she saw a cute fellow looking at her she would look away, too afraid that he would think she was coming on to him.

For two, she was ambitious at work. She was studying for university degrees in her spare time, trying to gain qualifications that would assist her employment. Who had time for blokes anyway?

For three? Well let's be honest: she was becoming very comfortable and settled in her routine and a little selfish.

Then suddenly she wasn’t meeting new men anywhere anymore. The men at her work and clubs she belonged to were mostly younger than her and if they weren’t gay they were married. She was now more confident, more available and there was no-one out there for her. Yet, she had a female acquaintance who just seemed to go from man to man every time a relationship didn’t work out. How was she doing it? So Abigail asked a mutual friend. “She meets them online” she was told.

Well, she thought, if she can do it, why can’t I?

So Abigail created a profile on a dating site. She stated her preference for age/likes/dislikes/distance from her home and waited. While she waited she had a look at some of the male profiles on there. Her spirits sank. They were all looked a lot older than her, and many looked as though they had lived tough lives. What was she getting herself into?

Then it wasn’t very long before she received a notification. Someone was reaching out to her. How exciting.

What?! He was in Denmark. How was that within 50 kms of her address in Australia?

Then there was another – he lived nearby but was 21 years old. Good grief, she could be his mother.

Then another from Sydney – right country, wrong state.

She was losing faith.

Then there was one that looked reasonably hopeful. She checked out his profile. “I don’t take life too seriously”, he boasted, as though that was something to be proud of in a 50+ year old. And then her favourite gem from another dude trying to get her attention. “Looking for someone quite and thoughtful”. NO. She just could not deal with someone who couldn't spell.

On and on. Where does he feel most at home? “On the couch with a great bunch of mates who are like second family”. NO.

Then there was the hopeful “If I had one wish I would wish for an attractive person who presents well and has a genuine interest in me”. NO.

She was about to give up. This wasn’t working for her. Maybe she was happier as she was. Or maybe she was just too picky.

Then a message appeared on her screen, asking some sensible, thoughtful questions about her. She gulped, drew in a breath, and answered them. Then asked some of her own. The response came back quickly. Abigail liked what she saw. This guy was down to earth and seemed honest. He didn’t appear to be superficial.

Then the 6 million dollar question. Did she want to meet?

What would that look like? she wondered. She didn’t know this bloke from Adam. He could be anybody. Okay, she thought, let’s make it somewhere public. So, they arranged a meeting at a restaurant by a nearby shopping centre. She even secretly arranged for a friend to walk past so she could make an excuse to flee if she needed to.

Abigail was a bundle of nerves. She stared at the mirror and wondered, not for the first time, what on earth she thought she was doing. Her hair was too curly, she was only 40 but in her view of her image she was much too old looking. She had taken a great deal of trouble with her appearance but her confidence was taking a hit. She had decided on an understated little black number, not too flirtatious, but not too prudish either.

He was already there, sitting at the table, when she arrived. Punctual. She liked that. He was wearing good quality black trousers and a patterned shirt. He looked nice.

He didn't look nervous and this helped to restore her to some much-needed confidence. But when he stood as she arrived, the first thing she noticed was that the zipper on his trousers was undone. Oh dear. Not a good start.

They chatted and her nerves eased completely. He was good company. There was nothing mind-blowing about their conversation, but somehow they were able to be themselves and she began to enjoy herself. She didn’t want this date to end. The menu arrived and she observed him as he perused it. He didn’t presume to order for her, as many of her dates had done before. She always found that controlling and annoying. She ordered the quail, he had the pasta. At some point, he noticed the zipper issue and surreptitiously dealt with it. She smiled inwardly.

They talked about wine tasting – a pastime they both enjoyed – while they were browsing through the wine menu. They discovered that they both loved a little winery in the southeast of the state which made an extraordinary Merlot. How could they not celebrate this mutual pleasure? He caught the eye of the wait staff. A bottle of Katnook Estate Merlot, he demanded.

She was falling a little bit for this lovely man.

The food came. The wine came. The waiter poured a glass each. A lovely plum, dark berry, and cedary taste filled her mouth and her senses.

They became aware of a cute elderly couple at the next table. She was extremely thin – she looked as though she’d blow away in a breeze. Wearing a loose, lime green top and blue trousers. Gradually, louder and louder she repeated everything she said until she was shouting. She seemed constantly annoyed at him. He was plump, balding, deaf. “Did you see Russell?” she asked. And repeated. And repeated. And shouted. "Russell's at another table". “I’m going to talk to Russell” she finally declared. She was much more animated by now.

The interruption didn’t matter. They were in their own little bubble and they didn’t care what happened with the hapless Russell. They sipped their Merlot and smiled at each other, conspiratorially.

Her friend walked past the window. Abigail ignored her and she didn’t stop.

This was the perfect date that led to a perfect proposal several months later and a perfect wedding a year after that. Each year they celebrate the anniversary of their first date with a special glass of Merlot.

She has told him the story of the trouser zipper and they laugh about it often.

(If you liked what you read, please hit the like button and consider leaving a small tip.)