Meet Me At Midnight

The gravel crunched with each step I took as I slowly approached the faded white barn. My mind was flooded with memories as I got closer. I pulled my sweater around myself tighter then slid my hands into my pockets. My fingertips brushed against my most treasured possession reminding me of the reason I wanted to come out to the barn in the first place.

I finally made it to the barn door and my hand trembled as I reached for the handle, hesitating for a brief moment before sliding it open. The door squealed on its rusting track. I let my eyes adjust to the darkness inside, the only light coming from a few windows dotting the upper loft of the aging barn. The rays from the setting sun hit the settling dust creating tiny balls of dancing light. I glanced around the barn remembering many stolen moments here among the hay and horses. I found a stack of hay bales in an empty stall and took a seat, pulling my hands out of my pockets, bringing the folded piece of paper with it.

The paper had softened after folding and unfolding it many times. I gingerly unfolded it for the millionth time and read the fading ink.

Meet me in our spot at midnight - B

I smiled to myself tracing the writing with my finger and thinking about him. My sweet Brett. He was my first love, a ranch hand who worked for my father. He was a few years older than me and naturally off limits but teenage girls always want what they are told they can’t have. I felt my whole body relax as I sat on the hay thinking about all of our time together spent in this barn getting to know each other, teasing each other, eventually falling in love.

I let my eyes wander around the barn and found it. Directly across from where I sat was the stall where my father kept his prized possession, Maxwell’s Darling. Max for short. Max was my fathers winning race horse and what kept the ranch in the black every year with his winnings. I recalled the first time Brett and I met right here right in front of that stall. I had just finished a ride on my horse Annabelle and was bringing her back to her stall. Brett was mucking out Max’s stall and as I passed by he took a step back out through the stall entry and bumped into me. I stumbled and tripped over my own feet, falling and causing Annabelle to startle and rear up. Brett quickly stood over me between myself and Annabelle, taking her reins and getting her settled before turning towards me. When my eyes met the deep blue depths of his own my heart skipped a beat and I felt my cheeks turn to what I imagined were a fiery red.

“Sorry miss. I didn’t see you.” He said holding his hand out to me. I took his hand without a word and he easily pulled me up onto my feet again. I dusted myself off and said, “It’s okay.”

“Hi. I’m Brett.” He introduced himself as he held Annabelle’s reins towards me. “Are you alright?”

“I’m fine.” I said softly, taking Annabelle’s reins from him and walking her towards her stall.

“Do you have a name or should I just call you beautiful?” He asked.

“Claire.” I answered without looking back.

“Nice to meet you, Claire.” He called after me.

When I stole a glance over my shoulder I could see a smile on his face as he watched me, blush flooding my cheeks once again causing an even deeper shade of red if that were even possible. That was the moment that started it all. After that I found any reason possible to be wherever he was. At first it was just innocent infatuation. He was an older boy and I had convinced myself that he was just being nice to his employer's daughter. Nonetheless I still enjoyed watching him work and talking to him whenever he had a spare moment to pay me any attention. The more time that passed the more things changed. Eventually the innocent infatuation became flirtation between both of us. I quickly noticed that Brett started to seek me out just to talk to me while I was grooming Annabelle or doing my daily chores. Unfortunately I wasn’t the only one that noticed. My father also noticed and made every effort to prevent us from spending time together.

I leaned against the post next to me, overwhelmed with the emotion that came with recalling my first experience with love. I slowly stood up and moved around the barn, letting my memory pull me towards all the dark corners of Brett and I’s safe haven. It was the only place on the ranch where we could truly express ourselves, and our growing love for each other. I made my way up the stairs to the loft where Brett and I spent many nights holding onto one another and talking about our futures.

I found the log post where he and I carved our initials, forever linking ourselves to one another. He made a promise to me that he would be mine forever. A tear fell down my cheek as I remembered the night we were forced to seek shelter in the barn after getting caught in a storm. He held onto me so tight that I felt like nothing could harm me. I was completely safe there with him regardless of the storm that raged around us. It was the night that I gave myself to him completely, despite knowing how my parents felt about me spending so much time with him.

I ran my fingers over our initials, tears spilling from my eyes. It wasn’t long after that night that Brett wrote me the note in my other hand. Despite our attempts to hide our relationship, my father caught us leaving the barn one night, holding hands. That night he forbade me to see Brett anymore and said that if it continued he would send me away to boarding school across the country. I cried myself to sleep that night and the next day begged Brett to run away with me so we could be together. Brett comforted me and promised me it would all be okay that he had a plan.

A few days later mother and I returned from a trip to the store to find my father red faced and yelling at Brett that under no circumstances would he allow me to marry a ranch hand. I rushed forward and took Brett’s hand, tears rolling down my cheeks.

“Daddy, I love him!” I cried. “Please don’t deny me my happiness.”

“Go inside Claire.”

I turned towards my mother pleading. “Mama, please?”

“Listen to your father.” Mama said quietly, her eyes at her feet.

“I will never forgive you!” I shouted, my heart breaking. “Either of you.”

That night my younger sister Molly knocked softly on my door announcing that it was her. I opened the door and let her in, both of us sitting on my bed.

“Claire, are you going to run off with him?” She asked.

I nodded and wiped my eyes, “I want to but I don’t know if he is ready to.”

Molly rested her head on my shoulder and sighed then took my hand in hers, pressing a folded piece of paper into my palm. That piece of paper had been in my possession ever since.

I sat back down on the hay bale and unfolded the paper again, taking care not to rip its aged corners. I still felt as heartbroken 50 years later as I did back then. I remembered so vividly packing a bag with a few dresses, a family photo, my bible and my best pair of shoes and waiting in this very spot reading the words on the paper over and over well past midnight. Eventually falling asleep there in the barn and waking up confused and wondering where Brett was and why he hadn’t showed up.

Now here I was, back on the ranch after Mama had passed, father had been gone for 10 years now and Molly and I were left to decide what to do with what was left of the ranch. As our parents got older they sold off most of the land to neighboring farms and kept the house and the barn along with a few acres so they still felt like they owned their little piece of farm life. I went on to marry and have two kids, my own husband had passed away four years earlier so I was now on my own. Molly had arranged a meeting with someone who was interested in buying the place but had something come up last minute so had asked me to show them around. I was a bit put off that she had flaked out but agreed to come out, having wanted to see the place again before we sold it.

Just as I had decided I should head back to the house to wait, I was startled by a voice.

“Claire?”

I stood up and stared at the man standing in the open barn door, trying to decide if I knew them.

“Yes?” I answered and took a few steps towards better light.

As soon as he stepped into the light those deep blue eyes caught my attention. I gasped and covered my mouth with my hand, tears forming in the corners of my eyes.

“Brett? Is that you?” I managed to get out as I continued to walk towards him.

He smiled widely, wrapped me into a warm hug and said, “Sorry I’m late.”