Maybe It’s Not the Boomers: Maybe It's You

Before you blame your parents, consider this: we weren’t perfect—but we tried. And maybe, just maybe, your contempt is part of the problem.

We hear it often now: “Boomers ruined everything.” From housing markets to climate change, from outdated politics to economic inequality, the Baby Boomer generation has become a convenient scapegoat for millennial frustration. And yes, some of that criticism is valid. But as someone raised by Depression-era parents—part of the so-called “forgotten generation”—I want to offer a different perspective. One that asks millennials to pause, reflect, and consider whether the problem is truly generational… or relational.

We Were Raised by Scarcity

Our parents lived through World War II and the Great Depression. They didn’t talk about feelings. They talked about survival. They taught us to work hard, keep our heads down, and never expect praise. We were raised in homes where emotional expression was rare and discipline was firm. We didn’t get trophies for showing up. We got chores, expectations, and the occasional pat on the back.

So when we became parents, we wanted something better for you. We wanted to give you what we never had: comfort, praise, opportunity. We gave you toys, vacations, extracurriculars, and yes—sometimes too much. We spoiled you, not because we were careless, but because we were trying to heal our own wounds through generosity.

Entitlement vs. Gratitude

A 2024 study published in the Psi Beta Research Journal found that millennials scored significantly higher on entitlement than Baby Boomers and Generation X. That doesn’t mean every millennial is selfish—but it does suggest a cultural shift toward expecting more, often without acknowledging the cost nor being willing to work toward goals.

We see this in the way some millennials speak about their parents: as if we were supposed to be perfect, emotionally fluent, financially generous, politically progressive, and endlessly supportive. But we’re human. We made mistakes. We were learning as we went. And we did it without the internet, without therapy apps, without social media to validate our every move.

Respect Is a Two-Way Street

One of the most painful shifts in recent years is the erosion of intergenerational respect. According to psychologist April O’Neill, younger generations increasingly reject the idea of automatic respect based on age, preferring relationships built on mutual understanding. That’s fair. But respect isn’t just earned—it’s also offered. And when millennials approach older generations with sarcasm, contempt, or outright hostility, they close the door to meaningful dialogue.

We’re not asking for blind obedience. We’re asking for grace.

We’re Not All the Same

The “Boomer” label has become a catch-all insult, often used to dismiss anyone over 60 as out-of-touch or selfish. But generational labels are blunt instruments. They ignore nuance, context, and individual experience. As Johns Hopkins University notes, generational values are shaped by the social, political, and technological atmospheres of their time. Boomers were raised in a post-war society that valued hard work and stability. Millennials were raised in a digital age that values innovation and flexibility. These aren’t flaws—they’re differences.

We Tried to Help

We paid for college. We co-signed loans. We babysat your kids. We helped you buy your first car. We showed up at your recitals, your graduations, your weddings. We didn’t always say the right thing, but we were there. And now, as we age, we’re watching some of you turn away—not with compassion, but with criticism.

We’re not asking for applause. We’re asking for acknowledgment.

You Will Reap What You Sow

There’s a spiritual principle that transcends generations: you reap what you sow. If you sow bitterness, you’ll reap isolation. If you sow contempt, you’ll reap conflict. But if you sow gratitude, you’ll reap connection. If you sow respect, you’ll reap wisdom.

We’re not perfect. But we’re still here. And we still have something to offer—if you’re willing to listen.

A Call to Reconnect

So here’s my invitation: call your parents. Ask them about their childhood. Listen to their stories. Don’t just talk—learn. You might discover that the people you’ve been blaming are the same people who’ve been quietly loving you all along.

And if you’re lucky enough to still have them around, thank them