Married and straight life man gets in love with straight best mate

Last years wasn't easy, I got to the point I was exhausted and needed some support.

I wasn't finding the right way to ask for help cause for my whole life I was fearing being considered weak, or irresponsible as man, husband and father.

I always tried to do things with excellence and see my wife proud and happy, providing to my son an ambience where he could feel proud about our family and achievements.

It always worked as a fuel for me as well, seeing my family satisfied always made me feel amazing and also realise that what could make me really happy in life was actually always there with me, at home, my wife and my son, my family.

Life was going well, until my behaviour started changing, I was 38 years old at the time. One day I started feeling down but I didn't notice anything different, I thought it was just a phase of my life.

Those heavy feelings started growing, becoming heavier on my shoulders. I ended up feeling alone even having a very beautiful and loved family.

As a 38 years old man, I decided to not get affected by it and stopped thinking about symptoms, or about mental health, etc, focusing more on the gym, and was training more days with my best male friend who was also being very supportive for training, bringing a lot of motivation.

Now I can see that my gym mate was filling a bit of my emotional emptiness, due to the loneliness that I used to feel that time, a situation that I couldn't even explain. I had everything that I needed and loved.

Well, here is the beginning of the most strange thing that happened in my whole life. After some time being closer to my best mate I started seeing him differently. We didn't realised but we were automatically taking care of each other for the gym training, during some down times, for motivation, in a fraternal way.

That formula in that circumstances just changed the way I was seeing him, not only as my gym mate, but as a male figure in my life and someone closer, at the time I was thinking too much about it, then I defined the feelings as he was just like a brother to me and then I stopped thinking, I did put those strange feelings in a box of non proprietary things.

What I wasn't expecting is that I started feeling bad when I wasn't with my mate, I starter feeling that a simple daily activity without him was losing it's meaning and this made me feel worse day by day cause the way I felt it. I felt it even during very fun times while in the park with my wife and son, things we loved to do together as a very functional family.

Strangely my mate became like a part of myself that was lacking. I tried to understand many times what was happening and even thought I should try to find a psychologist, ask for help, I don't know.

One day I realised that I was feeling bad not talking about it and decide to bring this topic to our conversation while having a beer with my mate. Wasn't easy and for a man to confess being in love with another man is like putting ourselves in a very vulnerable position as the level of rejection from the friend and wife could be very high. Who knew?

I decide to be honest and talk besides all risks. I said:

__ Man, I have something to say and I don't know what you will thing about it but It's in my head for months and actually I don't know what to do. I feel that I need you closer everyday, I feel I need you maybe more than I should. I don't know what it is for sure but is strange, feels like a relationship feeling. I think I'm in love with you bro!

We laughed a lot, and for my surprise the motherfucker said: Me too bro!

Man, really, I don't know if I felt happy or sad, but was very strange. We are not delicate guys, we are very emotionally cold persons due to heavy training, we practice MMA fighting, what is a very violent sport above all.

We don't fit with the stereotype and same sexuality of the ones who would consider something simple to love another man, but we did anyway. I can tell you the feelings are very intense and in some ways feels very good.

Since this day without talking properly about it, we developed a kind of very close relationship, like bros, but like partners, family.

We don't identify it as a boyfriend thing, but the feelings we feel are intense like it. We ended up considering in a more openly way that we love each other and we are trying to adapt between the man who is married, a father and the one who is also very close and openly emotionally attached to another man.

We don't have a gay life, I bet it would be easier if we had, but we are just being ourselves now, we are enjoying the experience. We keep experimenting, doing our own experiment, avoiding reading or comparing about sexuality or homosexuality, cause we could realise that what we are living has nothing to do with sex.

We joke calling it ''bro's love'', maybe what the internet defines as ''Bromance'' - A Bromance is a close but non-sexual relationship between two men. It is an exceptionally tight, affectionate male bonding relationship exceeding that of usual friendship, and is distinguished by a particularly high level of emotional intimacy.

When I found the description above I realised it's not totally new, other men must have feel the same but nobody likes to talk about it.

I was getting deeply depressed while dealing with all these new feelings and now I realised that even if I wanted to find a therapist for this situation, it would be very difficult. There's no many therapists available out there.

Me and my mate decide not to thing about it anymore, things would work if it meant to be.

I told everything to my wife, she wasn't happy with all this situation, but due to the emotional instability of everything we decide to try to adapt. She doesn't like me to be so close to my mate but I love this guy, now in the same way and intensity I love my wife, we love each other very much, that's it.

Life sometimes change so fast and in a very unexpected way that it's difficult to go in the same speed.

Now I see myself in this situation: From a married straight life to get in love with my straight best mate. We could never imagine that it was possible for men to develop intense feelings to another man this way!

Right now I don't know if I should keep typing, maybe it's information enough just to explain what is like for a straight married man seeing himself suddenly emotionally involved with his best mate and still trying to keep going, learning with the situation.

I don't know if more people are interested to discuss this kind of topic, but I'm going to come back here sometimes to check, and I will write more according to reader's curiosity level.

I hope we can learn something here sharing with you this strange situation...

If you experienced something similar, please drop us a line or comment.