Marriage

Marriage brings great joy to many but it also brings challenges, often profound ones. How a couple manages them often determines whether their relationship collapses or holds firm. Preserving long-term connection may require one or both partners to jettison misguided beliefs or dysfunctional habits that they themselves hold, while bearing in mind that trying to change a spouse tends to fail unless the individual also wants to change.Marriage does more than change people’s living situation and daily routines; becoming a spouse appears to change one’s personality as well, especially in the early years of marriage. Men, for example, tend to become more conscientious and introverted than they were when single, and women more emotionally stable. But both tend to become less agreeable.

When I Knew It Was Love

Suddenly a lot of things started to go wrong for her. The pit I would get in my stomach, knowing she was even a little uncomfortable, made me start questioning how I felt. I hadn't so much as looked at another woman that year, nor had I thought about dating. I spent time working, parenting, going to school, and talking with her. Maybe it should have been obvious, but it wasn't. I was also one hundred percent not her type. Regardless of all of those things, she always came to me first. I knew all of her secrets, and we didn't hold back with each other ever. We were essentially planning a future together without all the other relationship aspects. We had made plans to move state and get a house together eventually.

FIRST DATES

Then she asked me on our first "friend date" (not that the word friend was ever said) I just took it as such. She just had so much going on and that small piece about me NOT being her type all played into my interpretation of the night.

We went out, she spoiled me, paid for everything, and it was an incredible night. Then we went home as usual and back to the same daily grind. I was definitely confused. I was getting good morning texts, good night texts, and lots of compliments, even the occasional 'hey baby' text.

After a couple more weeks of this, I finally got up the nerve to ask her out, for real. She said yes, and I picked her up that Friday after work. I took her to her favorite restaurant and had flowers delivered mid-meal. I had her favorite dish already made and waiting at the table when we got there.

Then she started crying halfway through the meal. I thought I had royally screwed up, crossed some boundaries, and risked our friendship. Then all of a sudden, she confessed to having had feelings for me for a long time. The rest of the meal was amazing as we admitted moments we knew and things we had wanted to say and do for one another over the last year.

THE ENGAGEMENT RING, MARRY ME

We left dinner that night and, for the next year, we did all kinds of things together. We spent weekends in the mountains playing in the snow, we rode motorcycles together, we skydived, and we went camping often. Life suddenly had a new happiness about it that I had never experienced before. At this point, we were just a little over two years into this incredible relationship.

One day, we were out to lunch, and she jumped up to open the door for an elderly couple coming in, and I knew at that moment that she was the one. I thought to myself, I have to ask this woman to be my wife. I realized this woman had a kindness about her, and I never wanted to be away from it. I was already in love, but at that moment, I fell deeper.

I spent the next three months shopping for a ring and preparing to propose. I must have looked at hundreds of rings during that time. One day, I walked into an antique shop, and there it was. This ring was made for us. I bought it and made a reservation at our favorite restaurant, our first 'real date' restaurant. The next Saturday, we went out to dinner, and I asked this beautiful woman to marry me. She said yes.

WEDDING PLANNING

The next phase of our relationship was the wedding planning phase. At this point, I was kind of out of moves. My objective was to create a beautiful day for my fiancé, my future wife, the love of my life. I asked if she would be offended if I had her do most of the wedding planning so she could have everything the way that she wanted. She happily took the reins and started to plan our wedding. She looked at one wedding venue after another and started touring wedding venues in all her spare time. One day she called me while I was at work and she said she found the spot wanted us to get married. She had stumbled across a venue operated by Wedgewood Weddings. Not only did she love the site, but they had packages that took the thinking out of the planning for her. She's not an overly complicated girl at all, so this was phenomenal. She loved the venue, picked a wedding package, and the rest happened with ease.

WE'RE MARRIED, THANK YOU!

We got married at the Black Forest Location, and every single detail was covered. The day was just so full of happiness and love, and it was epic. This whole journey has been so surreal from the introduction to the outcome. I am the luckiest human alive! I couldn't have asked for more from her, our friendship, the venue, or our family, and everyone did their part in making this magic happen. Sigh to true love and our future!