Loving in the Best Way

The thing about love is that you don’t truly realize you have it till it starts to hurt. I don’t necessarily mean heartbreak, but when being in love affects the way you live your life. When you can’t stand being away from that person for too long because you feel like they’ve become a part of you, when you see the deep parts of their soul and all of the pain they carry and you can’t do anything about it, when the slightest change in their mood changes yours as well. It’s when every little thing that this person does makes you look at your own life in a different way. You look internally and want to change everything about yourself, not to please them, but to be a better person for them. You face all of the emotions and trauma that you have worked for years to shove down where no one, not even yourself, can find it because you don’t want it to affect the love that the two of you share. It is a battle with your heart and mind as a whole, you must make sure that you are intact enough to be able to take on another's feelings. It is the most selfless action that you could possibly decide to make, to choose someone else over yourself most of the time, to be there for them even if you’re not always there for yourself. Love is a choice. It is not a chore or a job, or something that you “just have to do”. You have to choose that person day in and day out, whether you feel up to it or not. You have to choose to work through the arguments and anger and differences because love is not just something that you give up on. You have to choose to better yourself for your partner and accept your faults with open arms. It is not easy, it will make you want to rip your hair out and scream sometimes, but if at the end of the day you can still look at that person and choose to love them and realize that it is the both of you against the problems instead of against each other, that is how you know. If you can look at them with stars in your eyes every single day and never wish that they were someone different, that is how you know. If even on the darkest of days you still wish for that person to be around you, that is how you know. If you never second guess on whether or not you are making the right decision of choosing them, that is how you know. There will never be second guessing or searching for better or seeking outside help. You and that person have to dedicate yourselves to each other for each other, no if ands or buts about it. If you are not willing to consider them in each decision that you make, love is not for you. If you are not willing to make sacrifices for that person, love is not for you. If you are not willing to see different aspects of a topic, love is not for you. Love is compromise, it is a team effort, it is a two way street. You are in it together or not at all, there is no in between. Love is communication, not just about your feelings and ideas, but about what you are doing and what you are thinking. Love is about loyalty, attention, and respect.

If you are not ready to dedicate your life and future to a person then please, from the bottom of my heart, do not waste their time. If you are not ready to work through things you may not have even known was a problem, then please just leave them alone. If there are things that you are too stubborn about and not willing to discuss, do not get involved with someone that is. Love is a beautiful thing, but the loss of love is far more painful than how good it may have felt. This is not a decision that just involves yourself and your own feelings, it can become a domino effect. Do not hurt a good person because you are unsure of your own feelings, you will turn a pure soul into a dark and angry one, and once you realize what you lost and try to return to them (because you will) do not try and re enter that person's life, not until you at least you have yourself figured out. Because I promise you they will not be the same as when you left them, they know their worth and what they bring to the table, they will not be so easy to let others in, and they will not forget the way you made them feel. They will never be the same towards you or anyone else again. So please be conscious of how your decisions affect the ones you love and the ones that love you.