Love Matters Session Number 2

Hello there! I promised to come back and revisit Rules 2 and 9 from my Ten Online Dating Rules and I will do that in a second. But first, I have to visit that statement and explore what exactly are we doing in this dating world. Are we done with trying? I certainly hope that all hope is not lost! There has to be someone else out that with an ounce of romantism left in them. Has waiting for better, left us all bitter?

Well, if you follow me on any social media platform, you know that I walk straight down the line when it comes to dating. I hold fault to both sides. Yes, unfortunately there are some content creators that are one-sided and cater to the one sex, while bashing the opposite but not on my watch! I truly think there is room for improvement on both sides.

OK, having said that, I am going to have to address "Galentine's Day"! Really ladies? As if y'all don't need another day to celebrate together while alienating a man. I may be coming across too harsh, but I'm driving a point and I will come back for any bodies left as casualties later. As the bridge in dating is getting wider, someone creates a day for women to celebrate without men. Now I'm not a big fan of the over-priced holiday from the start, but it's like most women have dismissed Valentine's Day. So, can Galentine's Day be a result of bitterness? Are we eliminating Valentine's Day and replacing it with this day of "sisterhood" because your childhood perception of a man was somewhat improperly influenced by castles with starts and fireworks flying around it?

Ladies, step back to move forward! That potential may not have all the boxes checked off on your list, but what about helping your potential mate improving to be better? A real man can appreciate a woman that is there for practice and not just there smiling and helping him pop bottles at the championship. It cannot be that hard to date someone with a promising future that needs help from a mate with off the chart vision. This my dear, is a highly matched combination of a winning couple.

Brothers, yeah, time for your turn! Men (I included), we need to stop vetting with our eyes and start vetting with our minds! Character traits are very important. We tend to give too much freedom, too early. Stop giving her money because she gives you a dry begging line. Yeah, you know that cry for help, but she really not asking you for help. She just putting the situation out there to see if you will offer assistance. TELL HER NO, by not responding to the dry begging. We need to start treating wives like wives and everyone else like your homeboy. Simple, she not showing wife potential, you treat her like a homeboy. Yeah, I know, that dress and that smile looks very good together. You cannot say no to that, my friend. Been there and did that too many times. If I could have back 25 percent of the money I gave to women responding to dry begging, some of my goals would have been accomplished by now.

This is a perfect transition to go into deeper detail into Online Dating Rule 2. Spending little to no money upfront, is a great way to see if someone is there for games or not. I made reference to the "90-Event Challenge" in Session one, so let me explain. There is a difference between 90 days and 90 events. The question is, can you focus on someone and do 90 different events with them without entertaining another individual? Sounds like exclusive dating, right? That's the key! Being able to condition your heart and mind on one person without the label of a relationship status can help tremendously. Women, Steve Harvey says to make men commit to 90 days before sex. Can you commit to a man and do 90 different things with him that doesn't involve money? You can take turns spending money on different events if you have to, but I'm certain that there are 90 events that doesn't cost a dime. I promise you, this challenge will create a closer bond and friendship between you and your potential mate. If practice properly, you will be an exclusive pair before the 90 events are completed. Too many people think that titles are suppose to change folk. Condition your mind to accept monogamy and practice exclusiveness before the relationship tag and your chances of infidelity would decrease by a long shot. The key is for both parties to be honest with each other. Make up your own rules and boundaries within the 90 events, but be sure to be fair to each other and set obtainable goals and have fun. Lets not put too much stress on dating. However, I would not go too many days between events. The purpose here is building a lasting friendship with someone. Let your friends know what you are doing so they can support you both in any way possible. Yes, the perfect transition to explaining Online Dating Rule 9. Don't love these transitions?

Like I said in Session 1, I don't know why we are ashamed to show our true friends that we fall down in different parts of our lives. Maybe we need to take a closer look at who we call friends and why do we have them in our lives if they cannot truly support us emotionally. The concept is simple. A friends can tell you about something you cannot see when you are caught up in the physical attraction of someone. You ever had that moment where you looked back and were upset with your friends and say "why didn't you tell me?" True friendships will last through disappointments and cooler heads will calm down after a storm and you will understand one of two things, that friend was looking out for you, or that they wasn't. Point is, its better in my opinion to have a friend that will tell you and could save you pain down the road. Put your potential relationships in front of your TRUE friends and let them vet the potential person out. This relationship road can be painful when we walk it all alone. Besides, try something new and let your friends (the ones who are in relationships) see what you have in the making. So I challenge you to 90 events with someone you think might be able to stand the test of time, without entertaining someone else. I promise your focus on this person will be sharper than spreading yourself thin by swiping left and right. I would prefer to do this without sex for better results.

What do you have to loose? You might help someone become that person who checks off all the boxes on your list. However, if you like Galentine's Day, more power to you.