Love is Patient

Love is patient, love is kind.

It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.

It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.Love never fails

This is one of my favorite bible verses. It was also my loves favorite, so much so we had it read at our wedding. I miss him as much today as I did the day my fairy tale became my nightmare, the day he passed away.

I’ve also kept this verse close to my heart. I’ve got pictures of it hanging in in my home. It will always be attached to the best day of my life,the day I married my Prince Charming. To the day all the world was right.

We were married at the court house me in a simple dress that wasn’t a beautiful wedding dress but just a simple church dress,he in his work uniform. He was beaming that day, so very handsome, his face I’ll never forget. I was so excited, so happy, so in love. He handed me flowers he plucked from the flower bed in the bank parking lot roots and all cause I had no bouquet.. I wish my mom and dad had been there to see how happy we both were.

But it was still a perfect day to me. My brother Ronnie and sister in law Angie came in from Clarksville meeting my love for the first time not knowing he would become a brother to them later on, and what an empty space he would leave for them also. They came to be our best man and maid of honor. It was a short ceremony on the steps of the courthouse but it was perfect to me. He was perfect, our love was perfect.

I’ve tried to raise our children the way he would have wanted if he were here. I’ve tried with everything in me to instill this verse not only into the heads, but into their hearts.

To be like he was kind to everyone. Giving,loving, patient,strong but gentle. To help those in need ,to extend a hand to help your neighbor and love them as if they were family. Toby wasn’t perfect, neither was I but he never shut anyone out that needed help. I remember him stopping and giving a homeless man not only food, but the socks off his feet because it was cold and this man was freezing, and had none. That’s why everyone loved him.

He would give his last breath for his family and last bite of food he had to a stranger. He was not perfect,but he was close enough to perfect for me. He was my everything, my world, my heart, my life.

Atleast I can say we had more love in our few years than most people have in a lifetime, for this I will be forever grateful that I had him for the time I did..But I will miss him for the rest of my life. I know he’s watching over us and still feel him around us.

Who ever says time heals all wounds is so wrong. Time doesn’t heal this pain, this sadness, this heartbreak, it only shows you that the sun will rise, the world will keep turning and you will have to keep going whether you want to or not. Time does help you to remember the good times eventually, to laugh a little about funny memories you have had. It shows you how to wear the mask to hide your pain how to smile even if you don’t want to, how to put one foot in front of the other, and how to start feel something other than numbness, how to breathe, how to slowly let the light back in, how to slowly let love back in again. But the nightmares never go away they only come a little less often for me,and I see him in my dreams when it lets me.. Love is patient, it is kind, it is and always will be the only thing to overcome hate..