Love At First Sight

Love at first sight is definitely not something everyone hears about, but only a few actually believe in it. I am one of the few who never believed in it, but may have actually experienced it.

He has bright blue eyes, think of the blue you see in the sky on a clear and sunny day. They were stunning, I was almost at a loss for words when he looked at me. My breath hitched, my body became tingly, and it seemed like nothing but that singular moment mattered.

That interaction was over two months ago, I haven't gotten him out of my mind since. I could describe him with every single detail without even seeing him.

His hair is a dark brown color, similar to the bark of an oak tree. His smile lights up a room the same as a flashlight on the ceiling of a dark room. His laugh, it echoes from the back of his throat like yelling across an open canyon.

Love at first sight? I never believed in it. But knowing all these details and being able to recite them without a picture or seeing him in person, that can not be a coincidence.

I have fallen for him and have not said a single word to him in weeks. All from that one little interaction.

Well, actually, that was just the beginning.

Over time we've had many text conversations and even hung out in person 3 different times.

I know it's not a lot but I tend to put my feelings aside when it comes to certain people and this man was definitely one of them. I had never felt so strong of a connection with one human being, but him? It was like everything was easy. So, so easy.

However, that didn't stop me from cowering down and watching him pick pretty girl after pretty girl because I never felt like I was good enough for him.

Don't get me wrong, I believe I am an attractive woman and can win him over, but I won't steal away from his happiness for my own selfish reasons.

One of my friends had this problem and when she finally told the guy he asked her why she never told him. Her response was "You were happy"

And his response is something that has haunted me since,

"And you didn't deserve to be?"

Because as a woman who CONSTANTLY puts others before herself, my answer to him would have been 'no because if my happiness takes from yours, you will always resent me.'

Because that is my biggest fear, is to have someone resent me because I decided to be selfish. I would never let it happen. I would rather live with constant pain and continue to have that person in my life, even if it is strictly platonic, then have them hate me because I spoke my true feelings.

So yes, I do believe love at first sight is real. But sometimes? Only one person feels it.

Which is by far the hardest thing to ever overcome. Living in a constant state of pain and "what if's" running through your head.

But that doesn't mean lose hope. Always keep trying. Because I know I will.

The man I described is the only man that has been on my mind for the past two months. I have tried, believe me I have. But I can't so after posting this, I intend on trying to see him, tell him how I feel and maybe, just maybe, he feels the same.

But the only way to know is to try.

Maybe he felt something.

Maybe he believes in love at first sight.

Maybe.