Lost Time, Lingering Regrets

Why is it that we often realize the true value of a person only after they have left our lives? Have you ever felt the void after someone departed? Sometimes, it takes longer than expected to move on, and in many cases, we never truly learn to live without them. They continue to occupy a part of our heart and mind, shaping our thoughts and emotions in ways we never imagined.

Such was my state when my mother left us for her heavenly abode. Although she had health issues, she still managed the entire family, with all of us heavily dependent on her. Even though I had moved away for my career and later after marriage, she made it a point to talk to me every day and share her life with me. But sometimes, I prioritized client calls, attending to my in-laws, or taking care of my daughter over talking to her. There were moments when she was upset and expressed her feelings, yet I would hurriedly end the call, saying I was busy, rather than giving her the time she deserved. I barely visited her after marriage, even when I had the opportunity to do so.

Then, one day, she was gone. Suddenly, it felt as if the weight of the entire world had fallen on my shoulders. How would I manage everything as perfectly as she did? That’s when I realized how little time I had spent with her as an adult—the time when we could have been friends. And that regret stayed with me. It took years to come to terms with the fact that I had signed for her ventilator, a decision that ultimately meant she wouldn’t return. At the time, the doctors assured me it was the only viable option to try and save her, yet the burden of that choice lingered. Only after accepting the reality and making peace with myself did I begin to feel her presence guiding me, helping me handle responsibilities as she once did.

But it is not only death that separates us from our loved ones. Distances, hurtful words spoken in anger, and selfish or unintentional actions can also create insurmountable gaps in relationships. Once that distance sets in—whether in personal or professional life—it becomes incredibly difficult to return to where we started.

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In a professional setting, when you dedicate years of hard work to a company, form meaningful friendships, and give your heart and soul to your work, one unexpected event can change everything. A misunderstanding with a manager, colleague, mentor, or subordinate can reach a point where no amount of conversation or conflict resolution techniques can mend the damage. Why is it that in such moments, no process or method seems effective? It is because these relationships are not superficial; they hold meaning. Words and actions carry weight, and emotions become entangled.

So, what is the way out? Should one try to make things work alone? In my opinion, if both individuals are equally eager to repair the relationship and restore the connection, then it is worth the effort. True resolution happens when emotions and feelings are valued on both sides without hidden agendas. However, if only the mind urges you to stay out of fear and insecurity while your heart feels burdened and suffocated, then it is time to move on. Trust the universe and the higher power—there are better plans ahead. Life is a journey of continuous learning, and every experience prepares you for the next chapter. Have faith in yourself, love yourself first, and then consider the rest.

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Even in schools and colleges, emotions run high. Many young people, though not all, prioritize relationships along with studies. In the long run, this focus on building connections proves beneficial, as relationships, networks, and memories shape our lives. However, heartbreaks and broken friendships take a toll on emotional and mental health. How can one move on quickly and effectively?

The answer lies in self-love. When we are an empty cup, constantly seeking validation from others, we fail to love ourselves. Without self-love, we lack the emotional strength to nurture relationships without expectations, leading to misunderstandings and conflicts.

Self-love is not selfish—it is essential. It manifests in many forms: self-care, mindful eating, meditation, spending time in nature, journaling, reading, engaging in creative activities, or playing a sport. Anything that brings joy and relaxation should be practiced regularly. By doing so, we equip ourselves to build and sustain relationships with ease, without feeling burdened or drained.

Cherish the relationships in your life before it’s too late. Be present, be kind, and above all, love yourself enough to create meaningful connections that stand the test of time.