Let's Talk About Romantic Stress

Who doesn’t sometimes have the “pleasure” of experiencing stress in relationships?

I am referring in particular to romantic relationships. The first quarrel in the relationship seems to be a kind of initiation ritual and clearly expresses the transition to the next level. If you survive this initial hop, things will get smoother.

Unfortunately, this is not the case. Most people are rarely willing and receptive to open and honest discussions about their emotions, which is the main element that underlies the stress in the relationship.

We also add the differences between feminine and masculine, and we certainly cannot predict a smooth course. It’s like trying to dance in a small room; we end up stepping on our feet at some point.

Quarrels and conflicts arise about anything, and if it is not an open conflict, then it is a passive-aggressive one, recovery solutions are sought through manipulations or small stinging gestures towards the other person, all this to ‘express,’ in a not at all constructive way, frustration and hurt emotions. It seems that sometimes it is impossible to get rid of these ‘mental games.’

It takes skillful communication to navigate the troubled ocean of romantic relationships. It is even said that we hurt those we love the most. Very rarely are there cases where two people in a relationship communicate so well that they avoid any conflict.

We have too much baggage left over from previous relationships, from childhood and few of us are pretty willing to take on the change. And there are solutions; it is not impossible; it just requires a lot of personal work.

What do you mean by barriers?

Lack of barriers is the first reason why relationship stress occurs. It seems easy to say, I know, but too few people know how to create the correct barriers, maintain them and strengthen them. Even if you learn to say “NO” in 10 languages, there is no difference.

Because sometimes, saying “NO” is the problem. This can be learned very quickly. The problem comes from the fear of our emotions when we say “NO.” It’s also the guilt; it’s feeling bad, not knowing what the other person thinks about you, and many different negative scenarios.

The fear of the unknown has caused more stress in the relationship than politics and religion if that is possible. So what is the solution to get rid of this fear? I would say this: instead of panicking and filming with possible dramatic scenarios, we approach the situation with curiosity, to ask questions, to learn from the other’s perspective, and so we come to think differently.

If you are in a relationship crisis, the first thing you need to do is find out more about the situation. It is the same case as a partnership, a business-facing problem. The first thing that will happen is that those responsible will meet to discuss the current affairs.

But sometimes, in personal life, it seems like we don’t want solutions. We want to talk about the situation, to complain and gossip until everyone’s ears catch fire, but we don’t end up thinking pragmatically and trying to find solutions.

Instead, we let our imaginations run the gamut of our perceptions and feelings simultaneously, which helps to create different scenarios. This true story may not be accurate, worthy of even a Pulitzer Prize.

I find it ridiculous to complain, victimize yourself, and do nothing about it. Worse, you cause more stress due to a minor conflict that you turn in your head into the drama of your life.

Stress management is a sport and requires effort. If you bring your problems to someone else, friend, therapist, mentor, etc., how good it would be to have the willingness to listen to other perspectives and points of view to solve the problem.

We already know that a bad relationship is unhealthy, but did you know that it can kill you? And I’m not talking about violence here. Relationship anxiety has been shown to weaken your immune system.

When you have a weakened immune system, you are more vulnerable to various disorders, and you see that something can kill you.

Attachment anxiety is a significant factor in how a bad relationship affects your health. This condition does not have to be general, maybe there are moments in the relationship that probably won’t kill you, but do you realize when they appear and what effect they have on you?

Have you ever experienced high attachment anxiety in a relationship? Are you stressed about less ok relationships, or are you just closing them? Have you ever noticed how stress in your relationship affects your immune system and how?