Let’s Be Real About Heartbreak

Let’s face it—heartbreak hurts. Really bad. We’ve all been there. You’re lying in bed, scrolling through old messages, listening to sad songs that somehow feel like they were written *just* for you. It’s like the world is moving on while you’re stuck in slow motion.

Movies and songs love to romanticize heartbreak, but when you're in the thick of it, none of that really helps. If you're trying to move on after a breakup, hearing that "everyone goes through it" doesn’t make the pain any less real. What you really need—more than anything—is time. That’s the one thing no one wants to hear, but it’s also the honest truth.

Healing Isn’t One-Size-Fits-All

Everyone deals with breakups differently. Some people seem fine within a week. Others? It might take months, even longer. And you know what? That’s okay. There’s no universal timeline for healing. Grief doesn’t run on a schedule. What matters is giving yourself the space to feel it. Cry, be angry, question everything—that’s part of the process. The only way out is through. Eventually, you’ll start to feel more like yourself again. Maybe not overnight, but you will.

Our World Isn’t Built for Heartbreak

Here’s the tricky part: we live in a fast-paced, always-on society. We’re conditioned to seek instant relief. Feel bad? Distract yourself. Swipe it away. Shop it away. Drink it away. But that kind of quick fix doesn’t really work when it comes to something as deep as heartbreak.

In fact, most of the “go-to” coping strategies actually make things worse.

The Whole “Drink It Away” Idea? Nope.

You’ve probably heard the joke: someone gets dumped and heads straight to the bar to “drink the pain away.” Classic move, right? But let’s be honest alcohol doesn’t magically erase emotions. It’s a depressant, which means it might actually make you feel even lower. Sure, maybe you’ll forget for a few hours, but the hangover (and potential embarrassing texts to your ex) aren’t exactly helpful. It's not worth it.

Rebounds: Tempting But Tricky

Then there’s the rebound route. It’s tempting to find someone new, hook up, and hope it’ll distract you or make your ex jealous. And while the idea of “moving on” that quickly might sound empowering, it rarely works out that way. In reality, you might just end up thinking about your ex even more—comparing, reminiscing, wondering. Worse, you could hurt someone who’s genuinely interested in you when you’re not actually ready to connect.

### So... What *Does* Help?

Here’s where it gets real. The best thing you can do is sit with your feelings. Not forever—but long enough to understand them. Yes, it sucks. Yes, it’s hard. But facing your emotions is how you *actually* heal. Pretending you're fine or staying constantly distracted only delays the process.

So what can you do in the meantime? Start reconnecting with yourself. Do the stuff you love—especially the things you didn’t make time for during your relationship. Read that book. Go for that solo hike. Take up a new hobby or dive back into an old one. These little acts of self-care might not seem huge, but they help rebuild your confidence and sense of identity.

Be Kind to Yourself

Seriously. Don’t beat yourself up for feeling broken. Don’t rush yourself to “get over it.” And definitely don’t compare your healing process to someone else’s. You’re allowed to feel sad. You’re allowed to miss them. But you're also allowed to move forward at your own pace.

Use this time to reflect—not just on what went wrong, but on what you learned. What do you want in a future relationship? What are your boundaries? What will you do differently next time? That kind of insight is gold when it comes to growing from the experience.

Final Thoughts: You’ve Got This

Knowing what *not* to do after a breakup is just as important as knowing what *to* do. Avoid the quick fixes. Sit with the discomfort. Take care of yourself in small, meaningful ways. And most importantly, trust that this isn’t forever.

One day, you’ll look in the mirror and see someone stronger, wiser, and more self-aware. Someone who made it through. And when love comes around again—and it will—you’ll be ready for it in a whole new way.