Let Me Stay

Lemme hold you by your arms and lean on your shoulder. You take a few seconds to realize what just happened, look at me with a side eye, and then, gently, you lean your head on mine. And as we both close our eyes, our lips curve into soft smiles, and our hearts overflow with contentment.

Can I? May I? Would you reciprocate the way you do in my dreams?

Ohh... it's been ages since I last held you, but this time, it would be different. Everything has changed—WE have changed, the feelings have changed—yet somehow, everything still feels the same. The soft corner we’ve always had for each other remains untouched. The passion between us, the understanding, the unsaid promise we have kept for years, and the way we can share anything and everything without fear of judgment, without thinking twice. The way I speak to you is the way I talk to myself, or even better than that. I love talking, but the passion I have when I talk to you is different. I wanna tell you everything—from how pigeons always build nests on my balcony to the way I talk to God and you listen to me so patiently, not that I leave you with any other option, but you don’t just listen to what I say, you retain it. And even though I never show it, I remember everything you’ve ever said and done. I notice the way you’ve looked at me and others. I took note of how you like your food less spicy and which fresh juice you prefer. I know the way you frown and how you get vertical lines on your lips when you are upset. I miss listening to everything you’ve got to say—from how you got to know about that new brand, to what's the most annoying habit of your roommate. I wanna listen to everything you have got to say. You’ve always felt like home, and maybe that’s why, no matter how much time passes, the warmth of you still feels so familiar.

I want you to hold my hands. May I? What would it feel like to intertwine our fingers? To feel the gentle press of your palm against mine, as if every space between my fingers was always meant to fit yours? I imagine it would feel like grounding myself in something safe, something real. Like holding the universe in my hands and knowing it’s all mine.

Can I lean my back on your chest, hearing the rhythm of your heartbeat? I’d wonder how thinking about something so simple could give me shivers. Your arms around me, your breath steady against my skin, and that unshakable feeling that this—THIS—is where I’m meant to be.

But would this always remain just a dream? Would these moments, these feelings, ever find their way into reality? Or am I destined to only live them in the quiet corners of my mind, where everything is perfect, but nothing is real? Tell me, will I ever be able to hold you like this, to live this dream, or will it forever remain a whispered wish, lost in the echoes of my heart?