Let Him Settle

I have been single for a few years. It has been a time of growth, maturity and realizing my true worth as a woman. I had the pleasure of being in love with and loved by a man who did nothing but show me that he loved me. So when I run across men who expect me to court and pursue them, they usually just get a blank stare, blocked or used for something.

Although dating has had its perks, I still find myself meeting men who expect me to lower my standards to date them. Never that. You will have to understand my history in order to understand why I will never take fuckboys, self-centered jackasses or these certified players serious. And what’s worse than a young fuckboy, an old one. When a woman decides to play with a man’s emotions, she can do a hundred times more damage to the heart of a man, than he could ever do, so why play with it?

Temptation is only easy if and when you give in to it. Can I write that word again? Temptation. We all fall prey to it at some point. Some more often than others. If you understood that it is more normal to be a roaming nomad of love, instead of being in a contract of marriage, you would view love the way it is supposed to be viewed, which is as freedom and acceptance. Instead, society wants you to display your ring of love, when it is a fact that when you get married you become at least 10-15% more attractive, so your options automatically increase (or at least the perception does). Your wedding ring screams stability, commitment and that somebody wants you. How attractive is that?

Often times when myself and many women like me, find ourselves settling for these half ass men offering crumbs. It is a case of having a little bit of someone, then having a whole lot of no one. They come around to see how they can benefit from your light. However, do not get into the habit of accepting less than what you want in a man, have him meet your standards, no matter how ridiculous they are. And if he cannot meet your level of enthusiasm, then let him settle for who and what he can get. You are the real prize. It is never a disappointment when a man does not choose you. You must remember, never to chase. Hold your pretty little head up and move the fuck on. Get busy, remodeling your whole life. Focus on improving yourself and I guarantee, he will always come back around to try and test the waters of availability. They come back around because when you are settling, the other one will never be enough. Entertain him if you like, but make sure you send them back to whoever he came from.

I will always believe in love. It is all around me and it will only take one moment that will solidify my desire for you. Never settle for the first man that shows interest, date and be selective. Enjoy the process of getting to know someone, because a lot of them have masks and hide their true intentions. Take your time and never rush. If he comes rushing in, you put the brakes on and look him in his eyes and find out what he really wants. Dating does not mean that you are having sex with every man that is interested in you, it just means that you have options and exploring the best man for you.

Lavidus, Author,