Lesson Learned

Ever since I moved to the Bay Area things have not been going as I had anticipated. I imagined myself in an ultra sexy apartment somewhere in the Mission with roommates that were smart, cool and just everything I aspire to be. I don’t know why that mattered when I was looking for a place to live but I’ll be the first to admit that sometimes I don’t have my priorities straight. I guess I saw other friends who had made this leap of faith and I was inspired to try on a new life too, I thought it would be the same for me but situation after situation I’m starting to feel like maybe I made the wrong choice. One thing is certain, San Francisco is not making it easy for me but I refuse to go back to the Bronx with my tail between my legs, to a mother that’ll be thrilled to say ‘I told you so.’ The idea of accepting defeat is not in my DNA, I’m not built for admitting when I’m wrong so I choose to stay here, where I feel lost but at least I can wallow alone. Here, no one knows me and I’ll just have to fake it until I make it, I guess, if that's even a thing.

“Hellooooooooo, is anyone there?” Tina snapped her fingers in my face. I hate when she does that, I’m not a dog Tina.

“Sorry, I don’t know where my head is at today.” I feigned a smile while biting my tongue. I apply a lot of pressure to remind myself where I’m at, you can’t yell at your boss.

“Get it together! We have all these new clothes that need processing and it’s not going to get done while you space out.”

“New?” I asked with a raised eyebrow.

“You know what I mean, this needs to get done before your shift ends.Thanks!” she spits out with her Valley Girl accent.

She walks away before I even have a chance to respond. I hate the way she talks to me but I just have to take it, I don’t have much of a choice right now anyways. After burning through my savings in a couple of weeks trying to find a place to live and paying for school I had to take any job I could. Why didn’t anyone tell me how expensive this city is? Back home, I had a great job but in a city where no one knows you and everyone is an Ivy League graduate, it seems that I am underqualified for everything. So I had to take this crappy job at this thrift store where I sift through people’s used goods, making sure they’re clean and good enough to be on the sales floor. Honestly, it can be pretty gross but the discount makes it worth it. I had no idea how cold this city is and didn’t know it would be 50 degrees in the middle of July. I guess I was unprepared for it all, they didn’t show this on Full House.

I’ve got 20 minutes until my shift is over and this mountain of clothes is not going anywhere. I need to focus. Class is at 5:45 and I can’t be late.

Just keep swimming, just keep swimming.” I sing to myself in a soft voice, Dory was onto something there.

As soon as I get off the train I’m running. I can’t stop. I’m already late. My legs are giving way underneath me but I just keep going.Why are there so many hills in this city? My chest is starting to tighten. I can’t get enough air into my lungs but I just gotta keep going. Don’t stop. By the time I make it to the classroom sweat is pouring from every part of my body and I’m out of breath. I look disgusting, I smell even worse. I detour to the bathroom to clean myself up, what’s another 5 minutes when I’m already late.

I walk back to the classroom and glance at the clock, 6:18. I take a deep breath and try to open the door but it’s locked. I peer through the tiny window and see that my Professor is in the middle of his lecture. I tap softly on the window and pray that Marcos sees me. He’s the only friend I’ve made since I’ve moved here. Marcos turns around and locks eyes with me. He moves stealthily while the teacher has his back turned, opens the door and ducks quickly back into his seat. I start scanning for a place to sit when Mr. Klein sets his eyes on me. Ugh.

“Miss More Rails, how nice of you to bless us with your presence.”

Is he talking to me? That’s not my name. I look at him confused.

“Morales?” I say

“Huh?” he looks back at me quizzically.

“My name is Morales. Miss Morales. You said something else and I just got a little confused for a second.”.

He immediately looks irritated and I immediately regret it.

“Well, Miss Morales, who do you think I’m talking to? Do you see anyone else waltzing in half an hour past the scheduled start time?”

I hear a couple of snickers and instantly my cheeks and ears start to burn.

I’m so embarrassed but manage to push out a “Nah.” Big mistake.

“What do you mean, nah? I’m not one of your little friends on the baseball field.”

More snickers. What is he talking about? I don’t play baseball.

“I mean, no. I apologize for interrupting your lecture Mr. Klein.”

He lets out a big sigh.”Let me tell you something Miss Morales, the name is Professor Klein. I don’t know where you come from but when you’re in my classroom you will have a little bit more respect for me. That includes being on time for my class. Do you understand?”

More snickers.

“Yes, Professor Klein. May I take a seat now?”

“Sure, I think we wasted enough of everyone’s time. Meet me at my office after class Miss Morales.”

The next hour drags and I can hardly focus on the class. My anxiety has me replaying every detail of what happened. As soon as the class ends I jet to his office. I won’t be late again. I sit outside the office and he keeps me waiting for half an hour. Power plays, got it.

“Sorry to keep you waiting, I’m sure you don’t like it when people infringe on your time.” Mr.Klein says with a smile on his face.

“I understand. I’m sorry about earlier. I really wasn’t trying to interrupt the lecture. It won’t happen again.”

“Are you sure? I looked at your attendance and you’ve been late a lot. This is a summer course and that means we pack in a lot of material in a short amount of time. Three lates are equal to one absence. Three absences are grounds for dropping you from my class and unfortunately we are at that point Miss Morales.” he says matter-of-factly.

“Wait..what? I haven’t missed a single class though! I know I’ve been late a few times but when I checked the assignments and work load, I’m at the top of the class.” I protested.

“Yes, I understand that but being on time matters as well. When you’re out in the real world and have a job, you need to show up on time or else you will get fired. This is the same principle.” he says smuggly. I can tell he is enjoying this.

“But I’m getting the work done! We’re just a week away from the end of summer semester. Please don’t drop me!” I can feel my throat getting tight and the tears welling up behind my eyes. Don’t let him see you cry, Yasmeena.

“Well, life…” he begins

“Isn’t fair?! Trust me, I know that. I need this class in order to enroll for the fall semester” my voice begins to rise.

“Well, I think it’s about time someone teaches you a lesson. There aren’t special rules for you just because..”

This is it, I can’t hold it in anymore. I burst into tears so thick that I began to drown in them. Every inch of my body is boiling and I begin to hyperventilate. I try to breathe but I’m choking on air. My anxiety has taken over and now all I can do is watch it all go down from outside myself.

“Mary!!!” Mr. Klein yells “Help!”

In runs an older lady “Oh, no! Get her some water! Quickly!” she is kneeling on the floor with me, she grabs a black notebook off Mr. Klein’s desk and begins to fan me frantically.

“Oh baby, poor baby.” She’s fanning harder and pulls me close to her, she smells lovely. Like how a grandma would smell, baby powder and eucalyptus but I’m not too sure because I never had one, a grandma that is. My eyes begin to open softly but I want to stay here forever. In her arms, feeling safe, feeling cared for.

“Alright now, baby. You’re okay baby, just got a little excited. You’re alright now.” Mary says with this soft southern draw that feels like velvet on my skin.

Mr. Klein walks in with a bottle of water and hands it to Mary, she snatches it out of his hand with a sharp look that doesn’t go unnoticed.

“Alright baby, I need you to take a sip of this water.”

I open my mouth and Mary holds the bottle of water while delicately pouring the water into my mouth. I feel like a baby, this feels nice. She then pours some on my head and lets it run down my face. The cool water feels good. I’m starting to feel like myself again.

Mary stands up with an angry look on her face and walks towards Mr. Klein. She speaks low but I can still hear her.

“What the hell is going on in here, Paul?”

“I was just explaining the rules to her and she freaked out. She’s been late all semester so I’m dropping her.”

Mary’s face says it all,”Oh, really Paul? What about Alma Perez? And Juana…” she says through her teeth. Mary stops and looks at me “Go to my office Paul, we’ll discuss this there.”

Mary turns to me with a smile on her face. She pulls out some butterscotch from her pocket. She has to be someone’s grandma. I wish she was mine.

“Alright now, you’re okay. Don’t worry about none of that, you just be on time for Monday’s class Miss..”

“Morales” I say.

“Mmm hmm. Mr. Klein and I will be awhile. Head on home when you feel good and ready” Mary stuffs the bottle of water, black notebook and butterscotch into my bag and walks out the room.

I’m still feeling light headed when I get home and remember the butterscotch that’s in my bag. I pull out the black notebook out of my bag and fan it open. Nothing is written inside but there is a small envelope stuck in the middle. There's a note that says ‘Best of Luck!’ and a scratch off ticket. Match three of a kind and win the amount shown. I grab a dime from my jar of loose change and eagerly begin to scratch away. I check if anything matches. I count three matching happy faces and I can’t believe it. I've never won anything before. I scratch the prize amount off and it reads “$20,000”. I rub my eyes in disbelief. This can’t be real. I check the back of the ticket, there are instructions on how to redeem the prize money. I can’t believe it, it seems like my luck may have shifted for the better. Thanks for the lesson, Professor Klein.