Le Secret

I remember the shower running, it was late, I was exhausted from the move and I was trying to peel myself off the mattress that we had just thrown on the bedroom floor of our new house. “Babe, come get in here with me, you’ll sleep better after a hot shower!” Silently complaining I got up and tripped over a stack of books on the way to the bathroom, I didn’t pay it any attention I just proceeded to shower and get this day over with.

“Beep beep beep beep beep” the alarm goes off and it feels like I literally just closed my eyes, wow this move really took it out of me, I’m thinking as I feel him kissing the back of my neck and softly whispers “come let’s make some coffee and get our day started, I’ll take the day off and help you get organized in here, how does that sound beautiful?”

“That sounds perfect my love...yaaaaawwwnnnn, ohhhh my goodness did we even sleep?” “Babe?” I guess he went to get that coffee started. As I’m walking half asleep to the bathroom to brush my teeth the tip of my toe meets these books once more “Damn it!” Once again I trip over these damn books. What are these anyway? As I fumble through: ‘The Dark side of the Zodiacs’, a few Carl Jeung’s and ‘The Secret’ I see a little black book with red letter that says “Le Secret” is this the French version of the actual ‘The Secret’ book? I ask myself. But it doesn’t look like an actual book, it looks more like a journal, “hmmmm?” I look around to see if my fiancé is near since these are his books and this looks quite suspicious.

As I quietly open it a stack of black and white photos fall out and I get startled. “Baby come help me with this machine please” “I’m coming” I say quickly as I push the photos back in and stash it in my dresser drawer. I couldn’t tell what the pictures were about but they looked important I thought. I went to the kitchen and asked him, “do you keep a journal?”

“A journal, what made you think of that?” “I’ve always wanted to start but never got around to it” he replies. “I was just wondering” I say. We went about our day and that little black book was all I could think about, what was it? Why is it amongst his things and why did he deny having a journal, there was writing in it. I could not stop thinking about it when he suddenly asks me “you want me to pick up something to eat so you don’t have to cook? I know you’re tired from all the moving” “that would be awesome, would you?” I asked. “Of course baby” Ashe kissed my forehead and grabbed the keys.

I could not wait till he left so I could get my hands on this book! As the truck pulled out of the driveway and down the hill, I ran from the dining room window to our room, heart pounding, hands sweating, mind racing. As I open the book this time I make sure to catch the photographs in one hand as I flip through the pages to see what is written with my other hand, only problem was, ...it’s in German! “What the fu.....?!” As I turn to my other hand to look at the photos I begin to notice, these photographs are all of Hitler....as in Adolf Hitler and they’re real stamped pictures not copies or fakes!

As I look at my face in the mirror above the dresser, I ask myself “Who am I engaged to, am I in an actual Twilight Zone episode right now? What the fuck is going on?!”

...TO BE CONTINUED