Latest Stories
Most recently published stories in Humans.
Me and Jack
What can I say about me and Jack…He is the cheese to my macaroni! My best friend, partner in crime, sidekick, lover, confidant, and the coolest person I know. He makes me laugh til I literally pee my pants. Unfortunately, most people don’t get to see the side of Jack that I do. I say unfortunately because it's unfortunate for them. He’s very quiet and reserved— the total opposite of me. He normally doesn’t say a whole lot and gets embarrassed easily and my most favorite thing to do to him is embarrass him to no end— but mostly at home, rarely in public, for he would never forgive me. Well... he probably would eventually but no time soon, so I try to keep the shenanigans limited to our private realm. Although, I did pinch his nipple one time at Lowe’s and caused him to yelp like a seal in the middle of the paint section, or the time I ran my hand up his shorts at an auction and almost caused him to bid on something entirely out of our price range. Sometimes, I’ll catch him engrossed in something on TV and give him a wet willy or try to stick my finger in his nose or just lick him in the face. It’s not that I really want to stick my finger in his nose, because I’ve never been actually successful. It's just the dramatic reaction I get from him that is so entirely hilarious, I can’t help myself. His favorite, though (not really), is when I catch him bent over and run up behind him and start humping on him like a dog. “Please stop fucking me with your phantom dick, Vanessa!” he yells at me. Of course, I am dying laughing at this point and cannot breath because after 2 years together he should know, by now, not to bend over in front of me because I will try to check his oil every time, if you know what I mean.
By Vanessa Hampton8 years ago in Humans
Things People Don't Want to Hear from Their Single Friends
I’m sad.I’m lonely.I’m not depressed. Depression is medical; I’m just sad. When someone in a committed long-term relationship says they are sad or lonely, it is their partner’s problem. The public perception is, if this person is sad, it is because their partner isn’t living up to their “end of the deal.” If this person is lonely, it is because their partner is working long hours or emotionally distant. But the perception of a single person who is sad and lonely is that they have put themselves in that position. They have chosen to be single (or choosey) and those choices have led to their unhappiness and loneliness. But sometimes it’s not that simple.
By D. Gabrielle Jensen8 years ago in Humans
I Think I Lost My Best Friend
In life, we are constantly evolving. From one event and emotional disruption to the next, we are ever changing. A week ago, I had this wonderful plan to write this fantastic article about friendship. I was going to showcase my friendship with this woman I have known since we were freshmen in high school. I was going to talk about all these funny stories about our friendship and use these stories to explain what I believe true friendship means. Today, I find myself asking the same questions from an entirely different perspective. I also find myself asking a question whose answer has the potential to alter my writing career forever. How honest should I be here? How much should I divulge to you, my reader? I see you as a friend. I tell you these stories in hopes they will stir emotion, elicit passion, and maybe even bring you some enlightenment. How can I do that if I don’t tell you everything? So, here it goes.
By Amanda Washburn8 years ago in Humans
How Will I Know He Loves Me?
Wouldn’t life be so much simpler if you could read minds like Professor X from the X-Men? Especially if the mind you could read was your man’s mind? With that superpower, you could see for sure how he feels about you. But unfortunately, you weren’t born a mutant or with ESP so reading his mind is not a realistic option. It would be helpful if dates came with a crystal ball or a Magic 8 Ball so you could get a little help to see what they’re thinking.
By Arlesha Jemélle8 years ago in Humans
Misconception
A little advice I wish I would have had 10 years ago.. there's a certain type of guy every girl should avoid. He's a guy you will no doubt encounter in your love life, and he will have you wrapped up in his snare in 5 seconds flat. He will be attractive, but rarely act like he knows it, although he definitely knows it. His lack of self esteem is one of his many ploys. He will tell you he is lonely, he doesn't have anyone really there for him, and every girl he has dated has treated him terribly. You will notice he always plays the victim and never admits to making mistakes or being at fault when a relationship turns sour. He will go on about not wanting to have a relationship, because he just isn't ready, but he just needs a friend right now. Well it is all an act! After feeling sorry for him you will go out of your way to bring some light to his poor little life (it's just in a woman's nature to try and fix things). The two of you will talk for hours about everything, you will feel very close to him. Then comes the time when you sleep with him. Usually, it just happens. At least that's what you think. You're just watching a movie or hanging out and BAM! You are doing the naked pretzel. What you don't know is that he had planned it that way from the beginning of course. He relied on your trusting nature to feel bad for him, then feel like you've fixed him a little, then feel close enough to him to sleep with him. The next day he conveniently doesn't answer any of your text. A week later he will finally reply with a smooth, "Sorry I have been super busy" or something along those lines.
By Vanna James8 years ago in Humans
A "Surface" Understanding of Millennials
I encountered a video onFacebook by 8list about how Millennials are and how Millennials perceive themselves. Delamar, the lady on the video, broke it down to a list of why Gen Xers are different to Millennials and why Gen Xers are frustrated with the Millennials. Delamar made a really interesting point on how we should view Millennials individually and not use their differences against them.
By Miguel Garcia8 years ago in Humans
Five Traits of a Controlling/Abusive Person
He had bedroom eyes, thick, dark hair, and a smile that made my heart beat a little faster. I was at a vulnerable point in my life; recently divorced and fighting my parents for custody of my son, so it wasn't difficult for him to embed himself into my life.
By Denise Willis8 years ago in Humans
Friendship?
Friendship. It is a simple concept but it has always been a problem for me. As a young child, I was drawn to older kids who weren't always nice to me. As I grew older, I found myself a great group of girls to play with in the school yard. Of course, once high school started, like many friendships, they started to fade away and I only remained friends with two of them. Today, Kylie and Madison are still my very dear best friends. I'd see Madison every day because of school and I'd see Kylie a couple of times a year on birthdays and special occasions but we remained friends through and through.
By Kassandra Moretti8 years ago in Humans
