Latest Stories
Most recently published stories in Humans.
The Date From Hell
Let's face it we all have had our fair share of bad dates, whether it was with someone that we knew/kind of knew or perhaps the worst dates of all—blind dates. For those of you who have never had the pleasure or lack thereof meeting a complete stranger, you may want to stay clear of the whole online blind dating hype, just a bit of friendly advice.
By Crystal Butler8 years ago in Humans
#MyWorstDate
All my life I never really thought about dates. Relationships to me were a way for one person to keep tabs on another by controlling where they went and when they went there. I had spent my whole life trying to gain the confidence and knowledge to someday become a powerful figure in society and I did not need someone coming along and ripping that from my fingertips. I was always more of the independent type. If I went on a date I’d probably stress out the whole time about who’s going to pay for dinner. Typically I would pay because I hate for someone else to buy anything for me. The idea of that always made me uncomfortable. But a small part of me still wanted to know what it was like to go on one. And not the cliche, Hollywood cinema, stereotypical, retro diner type of date, either. I wanted a normal date. And by normal, I mean dinner at Applebee’s and possibly a movie at home. Finding the person to go on the date with was the hard part. I didn’t want to just go with anyone random, and I definitely did not want to do the blind date thing; that would be terrifying. So that is exactly what I did. I never would have thought that my worst date would also be my first and possibly my last, but it was exactly that. My best friend set me up on a blind date with one of her best friends’ ex. Now that already sounds terrible. Your best friend's ex? If I would have known at the time that that is who I would be going out with, I would have immediately declined the offer.
By Jaden luciano8 years ago in Humans
Wanted: My Boo Thang, My Love
What do the lonely, and not hooked up do? The assault – rude. The overbearing demand on my money – rude. Nothing cute about a fat baby shooting arrows at people. Shoot something this way partner and watch what happens. Okay, I may be bitter! Nothing cute about some fuzzy red or pink animal with some plastic flowers and bow stapled to it. Animal cruelty. That’s what that is. Except for the year my baby saved his allowance to buy me one. That was the cutest bear EVER.
By E. Claudette Freeman8 years ago in Humans
The Tinder Tarp #MyWorstDate
I was swiping through Tinder at work because my head was just in the right space to care about work on a Monday morning, and came across this beautiful woman, about my age, with some shared interests and a mutual attraction as when I swiped right, we matched and I did my mini happy dance.
By Robert Langdon8 years ago in Humans
I Love His Girl
I had you in my arm's reach, but now I find you in someone's arms. I tried to move on, but every second you're on my mind. I try to throw myself into my work, but then I remember that I work to make your dreams come true. And I'm scared to sleep since I know that I can't run from you in my dreams. Cuz I don't know about you, but when I said those three words, I meant each word. They say third time is the charm, but what if my third chance never comes
By josh napper8 years ago in Humans
Embodying Sméagol/Gollum
At the adolescent age of 16, I wanted to fuck everything. That's right, girls are horny little things. I had been wanting to go on a date with this guy I'd barely known, but had seen around my friends at various parties/places/small concerts. So I told him "Hey, give me your number, and I'll text you when we should meet up to do things together... sometime." More than willing, he put his number in my phone and the rest is this story. My parents thought he was wholesome when he came to pick me up at the house. A decent car, decent clothes, a slight respect for my parents, then we headed off. We were going to see a movie, then indulge in party favors at my friend's going away party. Of course my parents thought I was just going to dinner after and then headed home, but the lies I told them the next day were very different from that promise.
By Tasha On Paper8 years ago in Humans
