Journal Entry: Tues. May 3rd 2022

Tuesday, May 3rd 2022

I dream about vampires all night. Like a ton of vampire stories. Really weird ones. Graphic ones. Not too scary though. It was actually really cool. Too bad I can't really remember the plot of any of them. That would be really dope. I could write them down into novels.

After not taking my pills for a couple of days, my pills really zonk me out. I can't wake up. So drowsy. I skip laundry, and I get up at 2:30 PM.

I make myself a cup of Joe: Crowded Barrel Coffee Co. EleaNOIR in my Z's Divine Espresso mug.

I pay rent, email my doctor, check my EDD and SSI, and Journal, posting four stories on Vocal.

Then I eat an Everything Bagel and Spero The Herb Sunflower Cream Cheese (vegan).

I shower with Bourbon, 2-n-1, Head and Shoulders, Shampoo/Conditioner. I use a bar of soap called Man Bar that smells like Taco Bell's meat seasoning. Then I lather myself with Duke Cannon Buffalo Trace Bourbon Soap and rinse. I then smother myself with body wash: Duke Canon THICK Bourbon Bodywash. After rinsing I rinse my hair. Then Shelby jumps in with me. I use my Duke Cannon Buffalo Trace Bourbon Plant-Based Beard Wash. I rinse. I dry and comb my red beard with its elegant white streaks.

I put on Axe Apollo Fresh Stick, because they were out of Phoenix.

We go to the Kia Forum to see John Mulaney. Parking was a nightmare and they guy trying to help was so shitty at his job and just screaming at us. Like everyone was parked inside the lines until the last two people before us and instead of telling them to readjust he just screams at us that we don't need to park inside the lines.

Both Shelby and I are really upset. We're trying to calm down, but I'm almost afraid the night is ruined by this asshole.

Once we get inside, I get Shelby a Moscow Mule and I get a neat pour of Jameson for myself. Then later I get us both a white wine. I tried to get a double of Jack Daniels, but the guy said I could only do a single. Then I finish off with a Jack and Pepsi.

The show was great. So funny. I was feeling loose and both opening acts were great.

We got to hear John Mulaney's side of the story for rehab and it was funny as shit. Love hearing about Nick Kroll.

We finally escape the parking lot after the show and go to Fatburger to get two impossible burgers, sweet potato fries, fat fries, and a vegan milkshake.

There is a massive accident in front of the Fatburger. A bus hit a car and that car hit another car and there is massive damage. I hope no one was hurt.

We finally get home and give our cat, Loki, lots of lovins.

We feast.

I shower with Bourbon, 2-n-1, Head and Shoulders, Shampoo/Conditioner. I use a bar of soap called Man Bar that smells like Taco Bell's meat seasoning. Then I lather myself with Duke Cannon Buffalo Trace Bourbon Soap and rinse. I then smother myself with body wash: Duke Canon THICK Bourbon Bodywash. After rinsing I rinse my hair. Then I use my Duke Cannon Buffalo Trace Bourbon Plant-Based Beard Wash. I rinse. I dry and comb my red beard with its elegant white streaks.

I put on Axe Apollo Fresh Stick, because they were out of Phoenix.

Then we go to bed.

And that's it.

That's my day.

That's Tuesday, May 3rd 2022