Journal Entry: Fri. April 29th 2022

Friday, April 29th 2022

I wake and brew Crowded Barrel Coffee Co.'s EleaNOIR Barrel-Rested Coffee and watch an episode of Star Trek: Picard, Journaling and posting on Vocal.

I slide an English Muffin into my Brave Little Vegan toaster and toast it Veganly. I veganly slather on some vegan butter, sprinkle on some vegan spinach, veganly slap on some heated Vegan Oven Roasted Tofurkey, and slide on some Follow Your Heart Smoked Gouda Vegan Cheese. I toast up a Just Egg Fold and top it off. I sprinkle on salt, black pepper, and red Cayenne pepper. Then I pour a fuckton of Vegan hot sauce all over that Vegan motherfucker. Good god it's beautiful. And Voila! A Vegan Sandwich, so Veganly.

And then I feast.

But I don't stop there. I eat a vegan banana, vegan mandarin orange, and vegan raw almonds. Vegan. While I feast I watch another episode of Picard.

I take a break and do the dishes while listening to J-Pop. I don't know the artist, because it's all in Japanese, but it's a brand new album.

I shower with Bourbon, 2-n-1, Head and Shoulders, Shampoo/Conditioner. I use a bar of soap called Man Bar that smells like Taco Bell's meat seasoning. Then I lather myself with Duke Cannon Buffalo Trace Bourbon Soap and rinse. I then smother myself with body wash: Duke Canon THICK Bourbon Bodywash. After rinsing I rinse my hair. Then I use my Duke Cannon Buffalo Trace Bourbon Plant-Based Beard Wash. I rinse. I dry and comb my red beard with its elegant white streaks.

I put on Axe Apollo Fresh Stick, because they were out of Phoenix.

I put in Big Bourbon Beard Balm in my beard and put on Bourbon Cologne Balm.

I heat filtered, Vegan water to 205 Degrees Fahrenheit in my black, Vegan Fellow EKG Gooseneck Kettle and steep two teaspoons of Vegan Keemun Three Monkey Tea for six vegan minutes in my Mike "Vegan" Wazowski mug. I purchased the Vegan tea at The Tea Table online and got this one as a sample pack. I highly recommend them. Vegan. Smells and tastes like Irises.

I listen to Memorial's Self-Titled Album on Spotify.

Then I switch to Pink Floyd's, 'The Piper at the Gates of Dawn.'

I FaceTime my parents and then keep listening to Pink Floyd.

I journal and write in my novel.

I take a break to eat. I steep another cup of tea for eleven minutes; then eat a smoothie, carrots, and raw almonds, while listening to Pink Floyd's, 'A Saucerful of Secrets.'

I brush my teeth and brew another cup of coffee in my Z's Divine Espresso mug and watch the rest of an episode of Picard.

Shelby comes home with rings on her fingers. I don't think she understands how this makes me feel. I feel sick, like I can never be safe in my own home. I don't want to cuddle with her anymore. I just can't be near them. Can't breathe properly around them. I know it's stupid, but it's a phobia I've always had. Probably related to my autism. Sometimes I wish I could just function like a normal adult. I feel bad that she doesn't wear stuff for me. I want her to be happy. I want her to express herself. I just don't feel okay when she wears them.

She finally takes them off. I didn't have to ask. I journal and pour myself a Compass Box: The Spice Tree Blended Malt Scotch Whisky in my glencairn.

Shelby makes Mac N' Cheese, boxed, and we talk about the trip to Portland and make plans.

We watch two episodes of The Flight Attendant and then pack for Portland. I shave my head with Shelby's help and take a shower.

I shower with Bourbon, 2-n-1, Head and Shoulders, Shampoo/Conditioner. I use a bar of soap called Man Bar that smells like Taco Bell's meat seasoning. Then I lather myself with Duke Cannon Buffalo Trace Bourbon Soap and rinse. I then smother myself with body wash: Duke Canon THICK Bourbon Bodywash. After rinsing I rinse my hair. Then I use my Duke Cannon Buffalo Trace Bourbon Plant-Based Beard Wash. I rinse. I dry and comb my red beard with its elegant white streaks.

I put on Axe Apollo Fresh Stick, because they were out of Phoenix.

We go to bed.

That's it.

That's my day.

That's Friday, April 29th 2022