It's Time To Be Neighbors Again

More charity, less consuming;

More clothing those who need help, less clothing from sweatshops;

More creativity, less consumption;

More community, less contempt;

But more careless abandon, less carelessness;

More caring in general.

They asked me for an egg. 

It's such a simple thing to run down my stairs in the chilled air and knock on their door with this treasure inside my pocket. 

I've housed the little girl, covering her shoulders with my own daughter's blanket, when late-night knocks on the door were pounding headaches for her parents. 

It means a lot that I am a trusted neighbor, that I can be asked for these things, even when it's only an egg. 

In return, along with this pride I carry in my pockets as I walk along the streets with crinkling leaves, they've held me up when my knee gave way. They play outside and we have moments of connection I have missed since leaving the dorms where we all commiserated over the same frustrating teachers.

Doors further down is the little dog I befriended, with a month's worth of expensive treats, so he no longer barks and loses his mind at me, a stranger. I'm his friend. He's happy to see me. 

It took time and energy, on both our parts, to overcome the fear he had. 

I don't believe it would be as easy to find that grace with those who fear me from the rhetoric others have spewed. Little white dogs don't listen to political ads. 

More charity, less consuming

One decision at a time, we could choose to use our money on others. My son goes once a week to Starbucks with his friends. I think it's a lovely tradition. He walks with them a few miles, is in the real-life presence of other people, and needs to maneuver around people outside of school. But I'm trying to convince him to, once a month, go and just have water. 

It is a choice to give something up to give more away: he'll donate that $6.50 from his allowance to a group he believes in.

He's considering it. 

I've made similar decisions, but his is larger. His is more conspicuous. Mine are hidden in balanced checkbooks and pdf receipts.

Find your own version of a borrowed egg.

More clothing those who need help, less clothing from sweatshops

Donating what we have too much of, not buying what we no longer need. We're addicted to buying more, to holding on to what we might need later. 

We've stopped thinking of those who need it now. I want to focus using what we have where the greatest need is. That will mostly not be us. I still have so many old toys from when the kids were young that other families could use.

More creativity, less consumption

(I hate that consuming and consumption are basically the same word so I'm sort of cheating. I've sat here trying to come up with another word for days.)

We are not robots. We should not be giving our creativity to AI. (Damn, I love using AI to make somewhat-photo-realistic images though.) We should use it to enhance where our true creativity lies. I love making images, but my passion is words; using those ridiculous images to punctuate the words I craft brings me joy. 

How can you bring creativity into your day? It doesn't need to be a recognized art form. 

More community, less contempt

No, I'm not ready to forgive those showing their true colors. 

My gay kid will not be left alone with her homophobic grandmother after some of the things she said in the last couple of years. I expect we all have people we thought we could trust who have made it clear they don't see those we love as human. 

But community has always involved those we would think of when we lock the door at night. We can still break bread with those across the aisle. It's especially important for those of us who do not have the outward markers that define us as "other" to these people. We are the ones who can introduce humanity back to them safely. 

No, I'm not happy about it. No, you don't need to. Find your neighbors who are not wild jerks and say hello. Find your own version of a borrowed egg. 

You will be happier knowing your neighbors. You will feel safer. You will look forward to leaving your home and running into others on the street.

More careless abandon, less carelessness

Joy is a form of resistance.

Love what you love. Don't love what you don't. Just because something is considered good doesn't mean you need to enjoy it, and it's correlary: just because something is considered bad doesn't mean you can't enjoy it. I swear I first heard this from Jamie Loftus on the Daily Zeitgeist, but I'm probably wrong. It's well-known advice and should be even more well-known.

Stop telling people what they can't like, stop telling people the only important 90s culture was included in Ready Player One. (Will someone please write a follow-up that includes less bro culture? Don't make me do it. Remind everyone that girls existed back then too.)

Be joyful. Find your bliss. Let others use whatever cliches they need to get by. 

More caring in general

They're going to continue selling you the parts of life you need for more and more. They've taken over the hospitals and are starting on the schools. We are cooked. 

They have increased the importance of family in order to decrease the social power of community. We can fight back for caring for those around us. Libraries are amazing. Ours has a tool-sharing program. Which means we're not wasting money on thousands of dollars of tools from certain companies (now that all the neighborhood hardware stores are gone). 

Find ways to support each other. As they destroy the supports we depend on, we'll be better off the more new connections we can make.