It’s called “unsolicited” for a reason.

(For context: I own and operate a small pottery business in the Midwest).

I really hate unsolicited commentary. I’m aware that this is an opinion per my personality, but goodness does it get under my skin.

Art-making is innately vulnerable, and pricing and selling my work can be a recipe for feeling over-exposed. As someone who already deals with anxiety and imposter syndrome, unsolicited commentary deflates me. It catches me off guard and leaves me lost for words, but not knowing what to say in the moment is not the same as consent.

While selling at markets, I “overhear” so many just-within-ear-shot comments from people passing through my tent (and when I’m standing no more than 6 feet away and they’re talking at a normal volume, I have a hard time believing they don’t want to be “overheard”). Other times, the commentary is inappropriately candid and, for some unknown reason, confrontational.

Don’t get me wrong, comments like, “I love this mug, but I would prefer a larger one–I drink a lot of coffee” (the most common comment that I receive) do not bother me. I’m aware that my inventory is generally small. I love making small things and it allows for the most bang-for-my-buck in my very small kiln. But I get it, and I’m happy to listen to this type of feedback.

Other times, it’s like I’ve been taken hostage under my own canopy.

“I could get this cheaper at a vintage store” was a comment I received yesterday. Aside from being an extremely ignorant hot-take, it was just plain rude (and while holding something I made by hand).

About a month ago, a man perused my tables silently for a long time, then looked me dead in the eyes, gestured toward my inventory, scoffed, and said (in what I assume was the most disgusted-sounding tone he could muster), “all of this work and just two mugs?” First of all, I counted after he left and there were more than a dozen mugs. Secondly, I don’t owe anyone anything. (This is really what I want to drive home). I have no obligation to take what people say into account, especially if I don’t know them from Adam. I’m a one-man show. I’m not Amazon or Target, or whatever giant (and exploitative) business model I’m being compared to (even if that comparison is subconscious). I simply do not have the capacity to please everyone in all the ways they expect to be pleased, and I’m more than okay with that!

During a workshop I attended a few years back, the demonstrating artist said, “when people ask what artist’s work inspires me the most, I say ‘my own”. Hearing that changed my brain chemistry. I hadn’t thought of it that way before… Of course, an artist should be inspired by their own work! Duh! Making artwork allows us to synthesize our favorite methods, media, feelings, and inspirations into something marvelous. It’s personal and profound.

In my practice, the authenticity of what I make matters more than giving people what they want. Which might sound like a bad business model… But I’m an artist first and a business owner second. It’s not worth it to me to sell a bunch of stuff that people ask for if it requires none of my creativity. That simply does not align with my personality or values. In art, business, and life in general, I aim to do what is authentic and inspiring to me.

I’m not intending for this to be “abrasive,” and I hope the message is clear: when you’re at art shows, makers markets, or perusing products at local brick-and-mortar small businesses, be liberal with kind comments, but please keep your critiques to yourself. If it seems imperative, for some reason or another: ask for consent.

Aside from a handful of contexts (like teaching or parenting), unsolicited commentary reflects the ego of the commenter and not the needs of the receiver. Even if the intention is to be kind or to help someone succeed, it often doesn’t come across that way.

Thank you in advance for respecting and honoring the small-business owners, artists, makers, and human beings that you interact with! 🖤