Is there nothing one can do about the course of life

There is no doubt that many important turning events in the world come out of nowhere. For example, I'm afraid no one would have thought that 2020 would be such a cataclysmic year until we entered it. What has happened in the past six months has also inevitably become an important turning point for many people. Does that mean that we are powerless throughout our lives? That our lives are determined by these unforeseen events? I think the answer is no.

Of course, one cannot decide these sudden events, but one can still control the course of one's destiny. Because it is never the events themselves that make our destiny turn, but the way we respond to these events and our attitude

The great writer Su Shi was a minister of the Ministry of Rites and a bachelor of the Hanlin Academy before he was relegated to Hainan Island because of political disagreements with officials in the court. At that time, Hainan Island is not a tourist destination, that is prisoner exile, television often exiled three thousand miles, that is to Hainan Island jail. You can imagine that these big prison conditions are not good, Su Shi from a Beijing official relegated to the "end of the world" can be considered an important turn in the world. How did Su Shi face this important turn of events?

A few years later, when Su Shi left Hainan Island, he left this song

The more you come back from a long journey, the less you smile, and when you smile, you still carry the fragrance of plums. The first thing you should do is to ask if Hainan is a good place to be, but you can say: this heart is my hometown.

Su Shi said I came back from Hainan Island when I felt younger, smiling at the unique fragrance of plum blossoms there. You all say Hainan Island should not be a good day. I said that as long as I have peace in my heart, where I live is like in my hometown generally no two.

The impact of what we thought was a major blow, an important turn of events for Su Shi seems to be very different from what we thought. The event itself cannot change our life, but it is the way we look at it that matters. After returning from Hainan Island, Su Shi also left another famous passage, "Looking back to the sorrowful place, go back. There is no storm and no sunshine." Su Shi's life had many ups and downs due to his political views, and he experienced many sudden blows such as the loss of his wife and son. But when he looked back on his life, he only said, "There is no storm and no sunshine".

Some people say that Su Shi was forcing a smile on his face, saying "this heart is my hometown". The heart is bitter, but he did not say it. Then let's look at another example.

This example comes from a study of identical twins in the United States, hoping to study whether these twins are genetically influenced by differences in personality and preferences. When the research team arrived at a black family, the family was already broken. The father's drug use also spread the addiction to the mother, and the father ended up on the path of trafficking while the mother was prostituting herself for drug money. The twin brothers came from such a family.

When the research team found the oldest of the twins, he was in prison. When he met the team members, he said, "What else can I do with parents like that?" It turns out that after he graduated from junior high school, his family could not pay for him to continue his education, so he joined a local gang, and soon after the crime was imprisoned.

When the research team thought the same thing would happen to the second child, they were confronted by a lawyer. Yes, the second became a lawyer. But he opened his mouth and said exactly the same thing as his brother, "With parents like this, what else can I do?"

It turns out that the younger brother faced the same situation as his brother after graduating from junior high school, but he was determined not to follow the same path as his parents, so he went to work as a waiter in a restaurant to support himself. After five years, the owner of the restaurant sympathized with him and trusted his character, so he decided to sponsor him to go to college. And he eventually became a lawyer, as expected.

When the twin brothers' father started using drugs, their destiny was already changed. As both brothers said in unison, "What else could I do with parents like that?" One cannot choose one's parents, nor can one prevent them from using drugs, but one can still control one's destiny. You can control the course and direction of your life. Isn't the penis the best example of this?

We can't control the events that happen to us, but we can control our attitude toward them. So, our life is still ultimately in our own hands.