Is Love Stronger than Infidelity?

The word love does not have one meaning. The reality is that love is seen differently by every human-being. People have their own love languages. Not only can infidelity end a relationship, but other things as well. A relationship can end because two people are completely different from each other. Infidelity is not just about having a sexual affair. It is about breaking a promise and breaking their partner’s trust. There are different responses from people when they find out they have been betrayed. One may think after being betrayed. They have no reason to stay; others might be hurt but still want their partner to explain the reasons behind their dishonesty so they can understand why the relationship was not doing well. Sometimes when couples have different viewpoints on love, it can complicate their relationships, and it is up to them to figure out how to handle all of it.

I created this form to ask individuals about their viewpoints on infidelity. Here are some of their responses:

Aside from someone having an affair while in a relationship, what else do you consider to be cheating? What does infidelity mean to you?

“Anything you wouldn’t do in front of your significant other or partner.”

“Flirting, sensual touching, messaging back and forth about each other's feelings. Infidelity to me is doing things without consideration of how their partner might feel.”

“An emotional affair. Talking to others behind your spouse's back.”

“I would say talking to someone who had repeatedly shown interest (or) asked you out while knowing you’re in a relationship.”

Do you believe that chasing after someone is considered love?

“Love should be fun. A little chase is fun but constantly chasing isn’t love.”

“I do not. Chasing after someone is called obsession and that is not love. Especially if the person has told you no multiple times.”

“Only if the person reciprocates feelings 100 percent, i.e., (they) wouldn’t run when things got hard.”

“It depends on the situation. If you’re chasing someone just because of their looks, I wouldn't consider that love.”

Romantic love vs. sexual love: What is more important? What would you do if you were in a relationship that did not have one of these?

“Romantic love. Sexual love can be found in anyone. I would break up (with them) if it were only sexual.”

“Romantic love is more important because you want to be with someone who is going to make you feel good about yourself and be a good parent to your children if you choose to have some. But both need to be present. Without either, there is no relationship to me unless previously discussed.”

“Romantic love is more important, but they are both very important.”

“You can have sexual love with a random stranger you met at a bar. But romantic love takes time, effort, and compromise to work. You need romantic love in a relationship. Sexual love is important too, but that can be found easily. Romantic love is rare.”

Same-sex infidelity: Do you feel that your reaction would be different if your significant other cheated on you with someone of his or her sex? What would be your response if that were to happen?

“No. My response would be the same either way. It's the fact that you stepped outside of boundaries regardless of who it was with.”

“Yes, I would be more confused than mad.”

“No. Cheating is cheating, it doesn’t matter who it’s with. The relationship would cease to exist no matter what the gender of the other person was.”

“No, the same if it is an opposite sex. It still hurts your heart”

Different love languages: If your significant other demonstrated a love language that you want to someone else, but not to you, would you end it even if no cheating was involved? Such as you wanting to spend quality time but instead they spend more time with their friends. Would lack of attention be enough for you to leave them?

“No, I would not because it shows that they are capable of displaying that love but I would have a conversation about it. Lack of attention is enough for someone to cheat though.”

“Yes. I shouldn’t have to fight for them to want to spend time with me. I’d rather put energy into myself and wait for someone to come along that thinks I’m the moon and stars.”

“I would have a conversation with them first because they deserve to be able to see friends but if it got to the point where they never wanted to see you, then definitely.”

“No, if there’s any issues I’d just talk it out. The other person can’t read minds.”

Relationships become stronger after cheating: What do you think of this? Do you think it is a weakness for someone to be with their significant other after they were unfaithful?

“Nothing is a weakness based on a decision. You either choose to do something or you don't. “Cheating” shouldn't have to occur for two adults to communicate and grow as individuals and as a unit strengthen their relationship simply because something catastrophic happened.”

“I disagree because this shows that the relationship was built on faulty foundations and it is a weakness for whoever cheated in the relationship because it can be thrown back in their face.”

“I don’t think it’s a weakness, but in my experiences, it doesn’t work. Whatever caused their eyes to wander in the first place hasn’t changed since you get back together, so it’s bound to happen again.”

“I think that once a cheater always a cheater. If they did it once why wouldn’t they do it again? Especially if they know you let it slide the first time.”

Cheating: A Stab in the Heart

Cheating has more than one definition, but everyone can agree that being cheated on is one of the worst feelings in the world. Infidelity makes the heart wonder what it did wrong to get broken. Individuals have their own ways of handling infidelity.

Breakups: Other Reasons Besides Betrayal

Professor Mara K. Berkland, who is in the department of communication, said that, “Cheating is a consequence of a failed relationship,” meaning that sometimes couples in relationships decide to cheat when they are not happy. Loyalty is not easy in long-term relationships because the human body and brain were not meant to be in a relationship where loyalty lasts forever. Berkland also pointed out people can be romantically attracted to each other but have different wants and needs, and their desires are more important than being with that person because if they choose to be with someone who wants and needs different things, then being together can be chaotic. “We can break up with people and have it not be because that person is bad,” said Berkland.

Sometimes, a breakup is not only caused by infidelity, but it is caused because two people do not want the same thing. That does not mean they are bad partners. Berkland also mentions that the healthiest couples question their relationship because they want to improve it, so they focus on parts of the relationship that need a solution. A healthy relationship consists of both partners asking each other their needs and how they can get them together. Infidelity does not have to do exactly with having sex, but it has to do with dishonesty, someone telling their significant other they only want them and that they will never cross the line, but then decide to have a sexual affair with others, only shows that they did not take their relationship seriously. Therefore their dishonesty would be enough for the person to end the relationship because trust is no longer there. It was also discussed what people see as infidelity. For example, a couple may love each other, but if one of them loves to read and review books, and their partners have zero interest in talking about books, they decide to share that hobby with another individual. Is that cheating? Well, someone might say it is cheating simply because of the fact that they are spending time with someone else. Others might say it is not cheating because there is no romance involved, and as long as there is no romance involved, then there is no reason to have trust issues.

Unfaithfulness due to unhappiness

In the article, “Love Hurts- And So Does Betrayal” written by Femi Ogunjinmi, she talks about men and women and how their reasons for cheating differ from one another. Men cheat because they want a woman that does not complain all the time and value the time they spend together. Women cheat for emotional reasons; when they do not hear compliments from their significant other, the affection starts to disappear, so when another comes along to give them attention or admiration, they become weak and have an affair with them. Women cheat over lack of attention and other issues, while men cheat because they find something they desire in a woman that their significant others do not have. To put it simply, both genders are unhappy because they are not getting what they want, so they get it from someone else. Still, this is not meant as a way to say that cheating is okay.

If someone truly wants to stop cheating, they must find a reason deep enough to never do it again; and one good enough reason is that they cannot imagine living a life without their significant other. The article also teaches readers that sometimes cheating makes couples understand what is wrong in the relationship and if they decide to give the relationship another try, they can rekindle their relationship. An important message that readers should keep in mind is that communication will not always make the relationship strong. Love is about being able to connect with a person and being able to reflect on the relationship. Not reflecting in a relationship will make couples assume nothing is wrong in their relationships and that fixing is unnecessary. All of this is important for couples to keep in mind because if they want their relationship not to fall apart, they should prevent it.

Infidelity: Making Relationships Stronger or Come to an End

Is love stronger than infidelity? The truth is there is no right or wrong answer, people will say yes because genuine love has no room for betrayal. Infidelity should not even be a thought that crosses the mind if someone truly cares about the relationship, but there is also that other side that says, love is not perfect. It has its ups and downs. Therefore, people decide to cheat. They do love their significant other, but it is the fact that they are unhappy that causes them to commit infidelity. When it comes to infidelity, there is no denying that it breaks people into pieces, but everyone has their own ways of deciding what to do after it happened