Intimate Relationship Between Sadness and Fear

Chögyam Trungpa shares; “ True fearlessness is not the reduction of fear, but going beyond fear” (33). Most people in our culture have a misconception of what is being said about fearlessness in this text. Fearlessness comes off as the idea that we are free of fear. While that may sound nice at first, a life without fear leaves little room to feel at all. If we lead a life free of all fear than we are freeing ourselves from any sort of connectivity. I am not saying that we must live our lives in fear, but we need to be able to face what it is that makes us so afraid and closed off in order to open up and experience this world.

So what is this thing we call fear and what is it a derivative of? As Trungpa explains, a lot of the time we se fear manifest in forms of restlessness, as if we are subconsciously distracting ourselves in such a way to avoid any and all confrontation with whatever it is that is making us so uncomfortable. “If we look into our fear, if we look beneath is veneer, the first thing we find is sadness, beneath the nervousness” (Trungpa 35). These restless habits are habits of nervousness that is working avidly at covering up and avoiding the real issue, sadness. What Trungpa is attempting to relay is that in order to go beyond fear and attain this thing called ‘fearlessness’ than we have to be willing to sit with our sadness. Avoiding what is felt; heavy in our heart is avoiding our true nature. He is expressing that the bravest thing to do is not to mask our soft spot with these nervous habits, but rather to hold our soft spot and learn from it. This is what we call a warrior, someone who is willing to work through rather than maneuver around uncomfortable situations. It is all about working with the softness we hold in our hearts.

“You should examine yourself and ask how many times you have tried to connect with your heart, fully and truly. How often have you turned away, because you feared you might discover something terrible about yourself?” (Trungpa 30). It is crazy how much I am realizing these readings relate to exactly what I am going through at this point in my life. I made this move to get away from everything I had been put through growing up, so I can have a clean slate to start to get to know myself better in order to pave a path for my future.

I have always thought of myself as outgoing, therefore I figured this change would come easy to me. I have met a lot of great people within the past couple of months and have created amazing memories and a comfortable foundation in my new home. However, I have realized something about myself that I have never seen before. I have felt a great disconnect with the world lately and I am beginning to understand why. I hold a lot of sadness in my heart and I believe I have let that take over my life. I have fallen susceptible to these nervous habits, constantly filling my days with restless activities. I have been working so hard on running away, just to realize that is just the opposite of what I should be doing. It is evident in almost every move I make: I bite my nails before making conversation, I dance instead of speak, and I read in order to escape.

To me Chögyam Trungpa means that the intimate relationship of sadness and fearlessness is a direct reflection of the synchronicity of basic nature. Everything is interconnected and with gentleness towards ourselves we can begin to see the world around us in its truest form.

Reference

Trungpa, Chögyam. (2007). Shambala The Sacred Path Of The Warrior. Boston: Shambala.