Innocence Surrendered 3: Positive Pregnancy Test

"I can't be!" Jan exclaimed. "I already took a pregnancy test, and it came back negative!"

"Perhaps you should take another test, just to be sure," her older brother said softly.

Ilya took her out to dinner that evening. As they were sitting at the table, he took her hand and looked into her eyes. "Is something the matter, Jan? You seem more quiet than usual."

"I do have something on my mind," Jan told him. "But I'd rather talk about it in private."

He'd been planning to take her to a movie afterwards, but instead, he took her to the shed behind James Hathaway's home. "Now, tell me what is wrong."

"I think I might be pregnant, Ilya." She just blurted it out.

He paled, and his eyes grew round. He was silent, waiting for her to continue.

"Remember that time the condom broke? I took a pregnancy test right after, and it was negative. Then I started getting these weird symptoms, throwing up in the mornings and being tired all the time. When George came home, Mom told him what had been going on with me, and he told me that he thinks I need to take another pregnancy test."

"You should take it, then," Ilya said softly.

"But it's the weekend..."

"Monday morning we will go to the health department together," Ilya decided.

"Will you sleep with me here tonight? I really need to feel your arms around me."

"Of course I will."

All night long she slept in the shed with his arms around her. The next day he had to work, so he took her back home.

Monday morning, he picked her up as planned and took her to the health department. She told her mother they were going Christmas shopping. She hated to lie to her, but she was far too afraid to tell her the truth.

The clinic was crowded, dimly lit, and smelled of antiseptic. She and Ilya sat together in the hard plastic chairs holding hands until she was called back.

The nurse took her vitals and gave her a clear plastic cup with a screw-on lid for a urine sample, then had her sit in an examining room to wait for the results. About thirty minutes later, the nurse reappeared and told her that the results were positive.

"Oh, no!" Jan exclaimed. "How am I gonna tell my boyfriend and my family?"

"How old is your boyfriend?"

"Twenty. He's an engineering student and works part time in a restaurant bussing tables."

"Do you work also?"

"No, I'm a full-time student."

"Do you and your boyfriend live together?"

"No, I still live with my parents and he lives with a friend."

The nurse gave her referrals to a program that would help with medical expenses and another program that offered coupons for free milk, cheese, and other foods. She was told that the first program would give her a list of obstetricians to choose from.

By the time she was finally dismissed, her head was spinning.

"You were gone for a long time," Ilya told her when she went back into the lobby. "I was very worried about you."

"The test was positive. I'm pregnant, Ilya."

"Jan." He came to her and touched her arm.

"I'm scared." Suddenly she was sobbing, hard.

He held her and comforted her. "I love you, Jan."

"I love you, too, but I'm still scared."

"It will be all right, Jan. Everything will be all right."

"I just don't know how I'm going to tell my Mom." Ilya had taken her to McDonald's for lunch, and she was hungrily dipping french fries in ketchup and munching on them. "She's going to be so disappointed in me."

"It is not an easy thing, I know," Ilya agreed. "But your mother loves you very much, and I know that she will not turn you away."

Jan sighed. "This is about a million times worse than a bad report card."

Ilya laughed. "I will have to tell my mother as well, that she is going to be a babushka for the first time. She will not believe it."

"That's right!" Jan exclaimed. "It's her grandchild too, but she won't even be here to see it. That's sad."

"Yes." Ilya squeezed her hand. "But that is not your fault, sweet Jan."

"But what are we gonna do?"

"We will marry, I will get a full-time job, and we will rent an apartment."

"But what about school?"

"I will go part-time at night. It will just take a little longer for me to finish. That is all."

"Oh, Ilya..." Suddenly she felt like crying again.