Heart Transplant

"Reed and Addison, come on back!" Dr. Tanner's nurse, Connie, smiled at me. I picked Reed's carrier up and followed her back to the examination room. "How's he been?" she asked as she lifted him and laid him on the scale.

"He's a very good baby," I told her. "Almost too good."

"Fifteen pounds and twenty-five inches. Just right." She frowned. "What do you mean?"

"Well, he hardly ever cries, unless he's either hungry or needs a diaper change. Not that I'm complaining, mind you, but I've got four older kids, and all of them were frightened by loud noises when they were this little, but they don't bother Reed at all. I think he could sleep through an explosion."

Connie glanced at Reed's chart. "I'll mention that to Dr. Tanner. He may want to run some tests."

She left, and I held Reed and sang to him while we awaited the arrival of Dr. Tanner. He played with his plastic keys, totally oblivious to me.

Dr. Tanner entered the room about twenty minutes later. "Hello," he said. He took Reed from me and examined his eyes, nose, and ears. "Connie mentioned you had some concerns about him."

"It's just that he doesn't seem to react to any kinds of sounds or noises at all," I replied. "Alexei doesn't seem to think it's really anything to be concerned about, but I just can't help worrying."

Dr. Tanner produced a baby rattle, which he shook at either side of River's head and then above him. Reed didn't react at all. Next, he brought out a toy monkey with movable hands holding cymbals. He had me hold Reed and placed the monkey just outside the baby's range of sight. He turned the monkey on several times, but Reed never turned his head to investigate the source of the clashing cymbals.

"I don't want you to be unduly alarmed," Dr. Tanner said to me. "But I'm going to refer you to Dr. Singer. She's an audiologist, and she can tell us more about what's going on."

Tears sprang to my eyes. Did this mean that Reed was definitely deaf, then? If so, was it my fault? Was it because of something I did or didn't do when I was pregnant? Would Alexei be angry and blame me? Thoughts like these swirled around and around in my head, threatening to drive me crazy.

I drove back home in a daze, barely noticing anything at all as I parked the car, took Reed out of his car seat, and walked into the house. Veronika, who'd been babysitting the twins, met me at the door.

"Addison? What's wrong?"

"Dr. Tanner referred me to an audiologist," I told her. "He thinks Reed might be deaf!"

"Oh, no! I'm so sorry!" She embraced me. "When are you supposed to take him?"

"His appointment's tomorrow at ten. I'm really hoping Alexei can go with me."

"I sure hope he can!" She took Reed from me and kissed his forehead. "Poor baby!"

Jade and Juniper came running from their play, and I hugged them both tight before going to eat my lunch. A couple of hours later, it was time to pick Montana and Nevada up from the bus stop. Their excited chatter helped to temporarily take my mind off my concerns.

I made a green salad, spaghetti, and garlic bread for dinner, and I was just setting it on the table when Alexei arrived home from work. All four of the older kids ran to greet him, and he hugged them all before lifting Reed and gazing into his eyes.

"And what did the doctor have to say about you, my little Tsarevich?"

"He has an appointment with an audiologist tomorrow morning at ten," I said. "I was hoping you could go with me."

Alexei frowned and sat his son down. "So he thinks it's serious, then."

I sighed. "Apparently so."

He came to me and embraced me. "I'll call and see if I can swap shifts with one of the other guys."

Neither of us ate much that night, and after dinner, Alexei made a telephone call. "Great news," he told me. "Mitch agreed to swap shifts with me, so I can go to the audiologist with you tomorrow."

"That was nice of him."

His arm was around me as we entered Dr. Singer's office the following morning. I signed Reed in, and we sat down to wait. Unlike Dr. Tanner's waiting room, which was painted a cheery yellow and covered with pictures of animals, Dr. Singer's was plain off-white. Relaxing music was playing over the intercom, and a magazine rack stood in the corner, but I knew I'd never be able to concentrate on reading.

Alexei and I sat down to wait. He sat Reed's carrier on the floor and took my hand, and I rested my head on his shoulder.

"Reed Romanov," called a voice about ten minutes later. I turned and saw a smiling brunette holding a folder. "I'm Carol," she told us. "Please come with me."

She led us into a small examination room that had a poster showing all the parts of the ear on one wall. I stared at the poster until a middle-aged brunette entered the room and introduced herself as Dr. Singer.

"I've read Dr. Tanner's report on Reed, and I'd like to examine him and perform a hearing test." She lay Reed back on the examining table and looked into his ears. "It looks like your son has an inner ear deformity, but I'll have to do X-rays to be sure. You can come on back with me if you like."

She carried Reed back to the X-ray room and laid him on the cold, hard table, where he began to cry. "Sh, sh, it's all right." She stroked him to soothe him, and his crying soon subsided. She took several X-rays, then allowed me to hold him while she put earphones on him for the hearing test.

"The X-rays do show some inner ear deformity, which may be the cause of his hearing loss," she told me. "I'll have the results of the hearing test in a few days. As soon as it's in, I'll call to schedule another appointment."

Neither Alexei nor I said a word until we were inside the car. "Oh my God, something really is wrong!" I cried. "What are we gonna do?"

He sighed. "I know it's hard, but we'll just have to try to stay positive, Addison. Whatever's wrong, maybe they can fix it with surgery or medication."

"God, I sure hope so!"

I saw that Reed was asleep in his car seat as I opened the back door to take him out when we arrived home. Looking down into his perfect little angelic face, it was so hard for me to believe that he might not ever hear anything at all. Tears came to my eyes and began to roll down my cheeks.

The twins came running to meet us as soon as we entered the house. "Why are you crying, Mommy?" Juniper looked as if she might cry herself.

"I'm just having a really bad day, sweetie, but I'll be all right."

Kristina walked out of the kitchen. "I take it things didn't go too well."

"Reed has an inner ear deformity," Alexei told her. "Dr. Singer did a hearing test, and they'll call back when the results are in."

"Oh, no!" She lifted her nephew from the carrier and held him tight. "Poor baby!" She turned to us. "I sure hope they can find what's wrong and fix it!"

"So do we," Alexei replied.

"Have the twins had their lunch?" I asked.

"I gave them both grilled cheese sandwiches. I was just about to put them down for a nap when you guys came home."

"Thanks," I told her. I sat down in the rocking chair to nurse Reed, and Kristina put the twins down for their nap and left. Alexei made lunch for us, and after I got Reed settled, I ate with him and then laid down to take a quick nap before it was time to pick Montana and Nevada up from the bus stop. I fell into a deep sleep, and when I awakened, I heard the two older kids talking in the living room and knew Alexei had gone to pick them up.

"Thanks for getting them!" I said as I hugged and kissed him.

"I knew you needed your rest," he told me.

"Hey, guys!" I called to Montana and Nevada. "How did school go?"

"It went all right," said Montana. "We learned about Ponce de Leon and the fountain of youth today."

Nevada grimaced. "I have spelling homework."

"I'll help you with it after dinner," I promised. "But first I need to talk to both of you about your baby brother. We took him to a special doctor today, and it turns out there's something wrong with his ears. He can't hear as well as other people can."

Montana's eyes grew wide. "You mean he's deaf?"

"To a certain extent, yes. Dr. Singer, the special doctor I told you about, ran some hearing tests on him. We'll have the results back in a few days."

"So he might can hear a little bit, then?" asked Nevada.

"Maybe. I sure hope so."

"Will he have to go to a special school when he's older?" asked Montana.

"I don't know. That's a long way off. We'll worry about it when the time comes."

Jade and Juniper, who were too young to understand, romped and played as usual that evening, but Montana and Nevada both hovered around their baby brother much of the time, making various noises and waiting for his reaction to them. Finally Nevada put the twins' Xylophone right next to his ear and banged on it as loud as she could. I had to cover my ears, but Reed smiled and gurgled.

"He heard it!" Nevada exclaimed.

Several days later, Dr. Singer's receptionist called. "The results of Reed's hearing test are in, and I'd like to schedule a time to go over them with you and your husband," she told me. "Can you come in today at two?"

"I'll have to call the station and see if Alexei can get off then," I replied.

I called the police station and spoke to Alexei's boss, who told me Alexei was investigating a robbery and he couldn't guarantee he'd be back before two. I thanked him and called Dr. Singer's office back.

"I can't reach my husband," I told them. "What's the latest we can come in today?"

"We're open until six. Just call us back when you get in touch with Mr. Romanov, and if it's before five thirty today, we'll pencil you in."

"Thank you."

Alexei called at exactly a quarter to two. "Joe said you called."

"Dr. Singer's office has the results of Reed's hearing test back. They can see us today if we can get there before five thirty."

"Things are kind of slow around here today, so I don't think Joe will mind if I take off a half hour or so early. I'll meet you there at five."

Luckily, my Mom was able to come over to watch the kids on short notice, so I jumped into the van and drove to Dr. Singer's office. Alexei was just getting out of his car when I arrived.

We had to wait only about five minutes before Dr. Singer ushered us into her office, where she got out a folder and a model of an ear. "Reed's inner ear deformity does contribute to his hearing loss, but he has some conductive loss as well." She showed us the appropriate illustrations on the model ear. "Surgery is an option, but even with that, the best we can hope for is a seventy percent hearing loss in both ears."

"What does that mean?" I asked.

"Even with the surgery, he'll still have to depend on sign language to communicate. We can operate any time after his first birthday, and in the meantime, I'm going to refer you to a speech therapist who can help him make the most of the hearing he does have, and I'd also recommend you enroll your entire family in a sign language class."

I was able to keep my composure only until we got back to the car, but as soon as I was seated, I burst out sobbing, hard. Alexei put his arms around me and tried his best to comfort me.

"Oh, Alexei, do you realize this means Reed can never hear music? He'll never get to enjoy a lullaby, a CD, the radio, even a rock concert! Can you imagine never being able to hear any of that?"

"No, I can't." Alexei looked about as miserable as I felt.

"Then what kind of life can our little boy ever hope to have?"

He sighed. "I don't know."

"Oh, honey, was it bad news at the doctor's?" Mom asked me as we entered the house. I'm sure she could tell from our faces it was.

"Oh, Mom!" was all I could say as I rushed into her arms.

"Reed has conductive hearing loss as well as an inner ear deformity," I heard Alexei tell her. "They can do surgery, but even then, he'll still be legally deaf."

"I'm so sorry!" Now Mom was crying as well. Alexei joined us in a three-way hug.

Mom took Reed from his baby seat to cover him with kisses. "Poor little thing! I feel so sorry for you!" She looked at me and Alexei. "I don't really want to leave you, but I need to get home and make dinner for your father."

"Go to him," I told her. "We'll be all right. We have each other."

I felt like a robot as I served the pizza, cleaned up, gave the twins their baths, read them their bedtime stories, and tucked them into bed. Afterwards, I joined Alexei, who was sitting on the sofa, staring at the wall.

"Have you told your parents yet?" I asked him.

"I sent them an email," he told me. "Mom invited us over for dinner on the weekend. I guess we'll talk about it then."

On Sunday, Alexei and I took all five kids to his parents' house. Sonya had moved into her own apartment by now, but Veronika still lived there. Anya met us at the door. Tears were in her eyes, and she babbled in Russian as she reached for Reed. I handed him over, and she began to kiss him all over just like my Mom had done. Ivan wasn't smiling as he said hello to all of us.

After Anya finished cuddling Reed, she handed him to her husband, who then passed him on to Veronika. "Is it really true that he can't hear at all?" she asked Alexei.

"He can hear my Xylophone!" cried Nevada.

"That's only because it's so loud," Alexei told her. "He can't hear normal conversation at all. He'll have to learn sign language."

"When can he start learning it?"

"I've been checking online," I told her. "I found a web page that said babies can begin to understand signs as early as six months, so I was going to start teaching him then."

"Great!" said Veronika.

"How's school going?' I asked her.

"Pretty good. I just got my grades from fall semester back, and it turns out I did better than I thought."

Christmas that year was very quiet and subdued. Both Reed's diagnosis and that of Aidan and Laurens baby weighed heavy on everyone's mind. "He looks so healthy," Lauren remarked as she held him. "It's hard to believe there's anything wrong with him at all."

"I know." I sighed. "How did your last doctor's appointment go?"

"All right. She's growing like she should, but her heart condition's still the same." I thought of Madison and suddenly had an idea. I couldn't wait to discuss it with Alexei when I got the chance.

"I have an idea about how Lauren's baby could be helped, and I want to know what you think about it," I said to him as he was driving from my parents' to his. "Since Ilya's and Madison's baby has no chance of survival, couldn't they donate his heart to Aidan and Lauren's baby? I know they'd have to test first to make sure it's a tissue match, but if it turned out to be, I think that would be wonderful."

"It sounds like a good idea to me," he replied. "I'll take to Ilya and see how he feels about it."

Exhausted from their busy day, the older kids fell asleep earlier than usual that night. I nursed Reed to sleep, then sat up and watched a movie with Alexei.

A few days later, Madison called me. "Ilya told me about the idea you had about donating our baby's heart to your brother's baby," she said. "I'm really happy if our baby's life can turn out to have some meaning, after all. I talked to my doctor about it, and he said he'll go ahead and make the arrangements."

The good news about Lauren's baby made me feel just a little bit better about Reed's diagnosis, and in February, when he was six months old, I bought a DVD about how to teach a baby sign language. I watched it all the way through several times until I had a pretty good grasp of the signs, then tried a few of them out on Reed. I signed to him for about thirty minutes, and at first he just watched me with a puzzled expression, but after awhile, he started trying to copy me.

I waited until Montana and Nevada got home from school, then sat them and the twins down on the sofa to watch the DVD. They all became bored very quickly, so with a sigh of frustration, I stopped it about halfway through and decided that I would just have to enroll them in a class some time.

One evening in the middle of March, Mom called me and told me Lauren had gone into labor. "Aidan's at the hospital with her," she told me. "They say it will probably be a few hours. Your Dad and I are going over there to wait with them. They need all the support they can get."

"I'd go too, except that I'd hate to leave Alexei alone with five kids," I replied.

"Go on to the hospital," Alexei told me. "I can always call my Mom for help if I need it."

"Thanks!" I kissed him good-bye and walked out to the car.

I arrived to find Mom sitting with tears rolling down her face and Dad sitting beside her stony-faced with his arm around her. She stood up when she saw me, and I walked over and gave her a hug.

"How's it going?" I asked her.

"They took her back about forty-five minutes ago," Dad told me. "We haven't heard anything at all since then. I'd imagine it's going to be a long wait."

Lauren still hadn't given birth by two the following morning, so I called Alexei and asked if he wanted me to come home so I could get the kids ready for school. "That's OK," he told me. "I can handle it. Take all the time you need."

"How's Reed?"

"He's fine. There's still plenty of the milk you pumped in the refrigerator, and I've got formula for in case I run out before you get back."

"I love you so much!" I exclaimed.

"I love you so much too. Take care, now."

I guess I must have dozed off, because the next thing I knew, Mom was shaking me awake. "Wake up, hon. The baby's here."

Instantly I was awake. "Really?"

Mom nodded. "A beautiful little girl. Six pounds, two ounces. They named her Winter Snow."

"When can I see her?"

"She's been taken to the NICU, where they'll monitor her closely until the donor heart arrives."

"How's Lauren?"

"As well as can be expected. Aidan's with her." Mom, Dad, and I made our way to the NICU, where we were ushered in and led to Winter's incubator. I had to gasp when I saw her. She reminded me of a porcelain doll, perfect yet ever so fragile. Her skin was translucent, and fine dark blonde hair covered her scalp. Wires and tubes were everywhere. My heart just melted, and as I watched her tiny chest move up and down, I prayed that she would survive until her new heart was available.

After awhile, we went to see Lauren. She lay back in bed looking completely exhausted, and Aidan sat beside her, brushing her hair back from her forehead and murmuring comforting words. They both looked our way as we approached.

"She's beautiful," said Mom.

"She just looks so weak. So fragile." Lauren began to cry.

"It's gonna be all right," Aidan told her.

I didn't know what to say. I knew that Lauren and Aidan would be crushed if Winter didn't make it, and I longed to say something encouraging to them but for some reason simply couldn't find the words.

Somehow I made it back home. It was almost six, time to get Montana and Nevada up for school. "How are they?" Alexei asked when he saw me.

"They had a girl, Winter Snow," I told him. "Oh, Alexei, you should see her! She's so beautiful, and yet..." I sighed.

"How's Lauren?"

"Hanging in there. Aidan's with her, thank goodness. I don't know what she'd do without him."

He went to wake Montana, and I went to wake Nevada. "Time to get up, sweetheart," I told her. "You have a brand new cousin."

"You mean besides Rachel and Daniel and Pavel and Xenia?"

"That's right! She was born at a little after four this morning. Her name's Winter Snow."

"When can I meet her?"

"I don't know, sweetie. She'll have to stay in the hospital for awhile because there's something wrong with her heart."

Nevada frowned. "Can the doctor fix it?"

"I sure hope so."

I don't know how I made it through that day. I moved about performing my daily duties like a robot, my mind a thousand miles away. By the time Alexei came home from work, I could barely keep my eyes open.

He put his arms around me, and I rested my head on his shoulder. "Why don't you lie down for awhile, darling." His voice was tender. "You look exhausted."

I lay down for about half an hour or so but didn't feel a whole lot better when I got up. I was reading the twins their bedtime story when Mom called. "She's stable for now," she told me."They're keeping Lauren today and tomorrow and sending her home the next day. Aidan hasn't left her side."

Winter was still holding her own the following night, and on the third night, Ilya called and talked to Alexei. "Madison just went into labor," he told me. "They're both at the hospital. I need to be with him now, Addison. He's my best friend."

"Of course!"

He didn't return until around lunch time the following day. I was nursing Reed, and the twins were eating their grilled cheese sandwiches. Tears were streaming down his face.

"Why are you crying, Daddy?" asked Juniper.

"Because I'm sad," Alexei told her. "Remember Ilya and Madison who came to your party? They just had a baby, and it died."

"I'm so sorry!" I came to him and gave him a hug.

"He was born around midnight," he told me. "He lived for about an hour. Madison held him for his entire life, and Ilya was right there with her. He opened his eyes and cried just a little, then started gasping for breath. The doctor cleared his nasal passages and he could breathe a little better, but after awhile, his breathing became labored and then stopped completely. Ilya and Madison held and kissed him and said good-bye." By now he was sobbing hard and had to sit down. I sat beside him and put my arms around him. We just sat together like that for a long time.

Mom called me a couple of hours later. "Winter came through surgery just fine!" I heard the happiness and relief in her voice and had very mixed feelings. Although I loved my niece and couldn't help rejoicing that her heart transplant had been successful, the grim knowledge that it had only come about at the cost of Ilya and Madison's loss hung over my head like a pendulum.

"I'm so glad!" I exclaimed. "So is she back in the NICU now?"

"Yes. They're giving her immunosuppressant drugs to keep her body from rejecting her new heart. She'll have to take them for the rest of her life. If things go well, she'll be able to go home in a couple of weeks."

"I can't wait to hold her!" I exclaimed. "Winter came through her procedure just fine," I told Alexei when I finished talking to Mom.

"I'm happy for them." He gave a slight smile, and I saw that there were tears in his eyes as we embraced.

We went to the hospital to visit Winter as soon as we got the chance. I was amazed at the difference in her appearance. Her skin, which had been so pale before, was now rosy pink and glowing with health, and she was wearing a little pink onesie that covered up her surgical scar.

"She's been doing very well," the NICU nurse told me. "Her body has shown no signs of rejecting her new heart, and if she continues to do well, she'll be discharged soon."

"Glad to hear it," I replied.

Ilya and Madison chose to have a memorial service for their son, whom they'd named Jayden Kyle. I held Madison's hand as we entered the chapel and saw the tiny white casket lying on the bier up front.

Ilya's friend Aaron gave the eulogy. "Although Jayden's life was very brief, it impacted many," he said. "His parents, Ilya and Madison, chose to donate their child's heart to a child who was in need, and thanks to their selfless act, that child now has the chance to live a normal life."

I was in a melancholy mood as we returned home from the memorial service. The kids were full of questions. "What did he look like?" Montana wanted to know.

"I don't know. The casket was closed," I told my son. "I'd imagine he probably just looked like he was asleep."

"But if he was born without a brain, his head must have looked really different," Nevada pointed out.

"He wore a special cap that covered that up," Alexei told her.

"He has a brain in heaven," said Montana. "Isn't that right, Daddy?"

"Of course he does," said Alexei. "He's running around and playing right now."

Jade frowned. "He can't run around and play yet. He was only just born!"

"In heaven, everybody can run around and play," said Juniper, and that seemed to settle the matter.

That night, I was awakened by screams coming from the girls' bedroom and entered it to find Juniper sitting up in bed, crying. I went to her and held and soothed her.

"I had a really bad dream, Mommy," she said after awhile. "There was a monster with only half a head and he was chasing me!"

"Wow, that sounds really scary!" I exclaimed. "But it was only a dream, sweetie. It didn't really happen. You're safe. Would you like for me to sing to you?"

"Sing to me in Russian, like Daddy does!"

I laughed. "I'm sorry, sweetie, but I don't know Russian. I can sing you a pretty song in English, though, if you'd like."

"OK, Mommy!"

I sang 'All the Pretty Little Horses' and rubbed her back until she fell asleep again, then gently laid her back down and returned to my own bedroom.

Winter was able to go home right before Easter, and I took all five kids to meet their new cousin. We arrived to find Lauren sitting in a recliner, holding her daughter. Winter looked much larger than she had in the hospital, and her skin was a lot smoother.

"She's beautiful!" I exclaimed. "Can I hold her?"

"Of course!" Lauren handed the infant to me.

I took her into my arms, and she opened her smoky blue eyes and looked up at me. "Well, hello there!" I said to her. "I'm your Aunt Addison!"

Looking down into her little round face, it was hard to believe that only a short time before, she'd been fighting for her life. Montana and Nevada both got to hold her as well. The twins wanted to, but Lauren was afraid they'd drop her. Jade howled in protest, and Juniper cried until I promised to stop by the dollar store on the way home. Jade wanted a cowboy hat and pop gun, and Juniper wanted a baby doll and bottle. Of course, I let Montana and Nevada pick out a couple of toys each, too.

On Easter morning, I dressed all the kids up and we went to Ilya's church, where he delivered a beautiful sermon on death and resurrection. I saw that there were tears in his eyes and knew he was thinking about baby Jayden.

Not too long after that, Alexei told me Ilya and Madison and little Joel were moving to Russia. "There are just too many painful memories for him here," he explained. "He wants to go back home, where he can make a fresh start."

We went to the airport to see them off. "I'm gonna miss you!" I said to Madison as I embraced her. "Have fun learning Russian!"

"I've already got it mastered pretty well," she told me. "Ilya's been giving me lessons, and he says I'm catching on really well."

"That's good."

I was pushing Reed in his stroller. "Bye bye, baby," Joel said to him. His dark brown eyes just stared straight ahead, not reacting until Joel waved a hand in front of his face. That made him smile.

Alexei was quiet on the way home. "Are you OK?" I asked him.

"It's just that I'll really miss him."

"I know. I'll miss Madison, too."

Lara called me later that night. "Hey, girl!" I exclaimed. "It's been ages! How have you been?"

"All right. I just realized how long it's been since the last time we talked. I think your son was, like, only a couple of months old, wasn't he? How old is he now?"

"Eight months."

"Oh my God, I don't believe it! How's he doing? How are all your kids doing?"

"They're fine, except that we found out Reed's legally deaf right before Christmas. He's gonna have an operation sometime after he turns a year old to try to improve his hearing."

"So will this operation fix it where he can hear as well as anyone else?"

"No, but if the operation's successful, he'll be able to hear just a little bit better than he can now."

"And then he can wear a hearing aid to make up the difference?"

"Dr. Singer said he has nerve deafness, and a hearing aid won't help that. He'll have to use sign language to communicate. I'm teaching it to him now, and he's picking it up pretty good. How are your kids?"

"They're doing OK. I just registered Dylan for kindergarten next year, and I'm starting potty training with Tuesday."

"Ilya and Madison just moved back to Russia with Joel."

"Tuesday will miss her little playmate."

"I know. It would have been nice if they could have grown up together, I guess."

"I suppose it would have. Well at least our kids are close in age. Dylan's only a little older than your twins, and Tuesday's only a little younger."

"That's true." We talked for half an hour or so, and then I had to start getting the kids ready for bed.

"I'll rip his balls off!" Alexei raged. His hands were balled into fists, and his face was bright red.

"I'm so sorry that happened!" I reached to embrace Veronika, who was sobbing. She'd just told us about how Rolan had come on to her. "The worst part of it is, I know how much Sonya adores him!" she'd moaned. "He tried to cheat on her with me, her own sister!"

"That was pretty rotten," I'd agreed. That was when Alexei had flown into a rage.

"Now every time I go somewhere, I'll be scared to death of running into him again!" she said now.

"If that happens, just ignore him," I advised. "When he sees that he can't get a rise out of you, he'll leave you alone."

The school year ended, and Montana and Nevada were free for the summer. "Look, Mommy!" Montana exclaimed as he shoved his report card in my face. "All A's, except for one B in English!"

"That's great!" I exclaimed. "I'm so proud of you!"

"I got a C in math," Nevada pouted.

"That's OK," I assured her. "I know you did your best, and that's enough."

"Can we go to a movie tonight?" asked Montana.

"I don't see why not," I replied. "We'll have to ask your Dad when he comes home, but I'm sure it won't be a problem."

I made hamburgers and french fries to celebrate the end of the school year. Alexei didn't come home at the usual time, and I waited a few minutes, until the french fries began to get cold and the kids began to complain about being hungry.

"Don't forget to save some fries for your Dad," I told them as they dug in.

We were about halfway finished eating when Alexei came home at last. "Whew! What a day!" he exclaimed. "I was just about to punch out and go home when there was a shooting halfway across town. Some guy got mad at his boss for firing him and shot the poor bastard right in the gut."

"Is he still alive?" I asked.

"Just barely, last I heard."

"Can we go see the movie about the baby dinosaur, Daddy?" asked Montana.

"Your Daddy's really tired tonight, Montana," I told my son.

"That's all right," said Alexei. "I'll take them anyway. They've earned it."

"Yay!" All four of the older kids jumped up and down and cheered.

Luckily Mom was able to babysit Reed, so Alexei and I took the other kids to the movie. I had to keep telling Jade to stop talking, but Juniper was fine. The telephone was ringing when we got home. I answered it to hear Kristina's voice. She asked to speak to Alexei, so I handed the receiver to my husband.

"Hello?...Oh, no! He didn't!...You've got to be kidding me!...Of course you can!" He hung up and turned to me. "After we get the kids settled for the night, Kristina and Sonya are coming over. We have an important family situation to discuss."

"Do you need me to go somewhere, then?" I asked.

"Why? Aren't you part of this family, too?"

"Of course, but I thought you meant something personal that doesn't involve me."

"Oh, no. I'd say your input is definitely needed."

We got all five kids to sleep, and then Alexei called Kristina back. A few minutes later, Kristina and Sonya arrived. Sonya was crying, and I embraced her. The three of us sat on the sofa. Alexei and I looked from Kristina to Sonya and then back to Kristina.

"Sonya just found out she's pregnant," Kristina began. "She wants to have an abortion. I'm trying my best to talk her out of it, but she's determined. She agreed to talk to you first, and I really need your support in this."

Alexei's face had already darkened. "It's Rolan's, isn't it?"

Sonya nodded.

Alexei slammed his fist into the wall, knocking a hole in the plaster. "I'll kill him!"

Kristina went to her brother and held him until he calmed down. "So is the sorry bastard going to do the right thing by you?" he asked Sonya through clenched teeth.

Sonya shook her head. "He told me it was my problem, not his."

I could see Alexei tensing up again and tried my best to calm him. "It'll be all right, Alexei."

"I just want to get this over with," Sonya sighed.

"But there has to be some other way!" Kristina exclaimed. "That little baby inside you is a human being, just like Pavel and Xenia! You can't take away its life just because its father is a jerk!"

"I can't take care of a baby by myself! I'm too young!"

"Let Anton and I raise him or her, then. I'd love to have a third child, and I'm sure Anton would, too."

"I'd still have to go through the pregnancy, and I don't think I could do all that and then just hand it over to somebody else to raise."

"Let us help you, then. This baby will be my niece or nephew, and I already love it. Please let it live."

Sonya pouted. "I don't know."

Kristina talked to her some more but still couldn't get her to agree to go through with the pregnancy. After they'd left, Alexei and I looked at one another.

"God, what a rat!" I exploded. "First he gets Sonya pregnant and just abandons her, and then he has the nerve to hit on Veronika!"

"I know what I'd like to do to him," Alexei mumbled.

"I hope Sonya changes her mind about the abortion," I said.

"So do I. I love babies, and I'd be thrilled to have another niece or nephew."

I lay awake a long time that night, contemplating the situation. I'd never been in her shoes, thank goodness, so I didn't know what it would be like to be faced with the prospect of raising a child on my own. I imagined I'd be terrified.

A couple of days later, I was nursing Reed when I received a panicked call from Kristina. "Sonya's on her way to the abortion clinic right now! We have to stop her!"