Inclusion is not the answer - Integration is

São Paulo-Brasil, 1995.

I was seven years old. It was my first day at the new school. The big girl school. The promise of new friends. The curious mind wondered how all this newness would turn out.

I was sitting in the front row of the class. I am trying to remember if I was put there or if I chose to sit myself. I am not sure which one, but there I was, in the first row, eyes focused, paying attention to what the teacher was about to say.

When she started talking in class, she invited me to go outside and drink some water. She hadn't said that to anyone else but me. As a kid taught to listen to their teachers, I stood up and left, looking for the closest drinking fountain.

It didn't take too long before I was back. The moment I walked in, I realised it was a different kind of classroom. It had all eyes on me.

First, their eyes searched for what they could not find on their bodies. Human beings are curious by nature—don't forget that. Then, once the eyes met the unalike, an opinion was formed, and a new feeling was experienced. That was the moment it started.

It was a classroom with 36 children. They were all talking about me. I'm not sure if I couldn't hear their words clearly or if I had suppressed the detailed version of this memory as a trauma response. What I can remember is that I hated that moment. It was not what I had expected on that very first day. I sat quickly with my back against them — there is this saying in Portuguese that what the eyes can't see, the heart can't feel (I guess we tell ourselves lies sometimes). It didn't take much for the teacher to ask everyone to be quiet and continue the schedule.

Looking back on this moment, it became clear to me that we should not approach the evolution of society through inclusion. Inclusion exists when there is exclusion.

When I was separated from the classroom, the teacher told them I was born with a genetic mutation that caused the absence of fingers in both of my hands. I have no doubt the entire movement was well-intended, but by not having me in the room, I was excluded from having a voice in my own story.

I have never wanted to hide my hands, and I like to answer curious questions as I understand that I carry a rare and unique perspective on living in this world. It was very confusing to me not to be allowed to be there when the subject of the conversation was me.

With this piece of writing, I ask that we reflect on how we behave when what is in front of us is unlike us. Every human has a different body and a unique perspective. We should approach everyone with curiosity and respect, allowing our differences to be what connects us further.

We should build an integrated system from beginning to end. A holistic and truthful perspective is impossible unless we actively listen to those with a lugar de fala — an expression popularised by the Brazilian philosopher Djamila Ribeiro. Diversity comes from experience, but the current system is not designed to operate that way, and it has misguided us for quite a long time now.

However, it is still open to change, and we are powerful channels for this change. Honour your daily choices.