If you watched To All The Boys: Always and Forever, you would love The Holiday

Boy Meets Girl. Girl Falls in Love. They get Married. The End.

Back up a bit, this would be so simple if it weren’t so dull and unrealistic. This is not how romance works for most people let alone what people want to watch. People want to watch something relatable, if not an incredibly hot lead actor.

So here is my 5 step formula for the perfect romantic movie:

1. The unexpected first meeting

2. The unexpected realisation of love

3. The hopeless obstacle

4. Overcoming this obstacle

5. The acceptance of loving someone just as they are (Bridget Jones)

Think of all the romantic movies you have ever watched: 10 Things I Hate About You, Crazy Stupid Love, The Notebook, Pretty Woman, Me Before You, Brokeback Mountain, Pride and Prejudice, Titanic, Romeo and Juliet.

If you note down this formula and review all the movies you have seen, this will hold true to movies that have love of another nature such as Palmer.

The first meeting is never intended to be for love (eh’ hem Pretty Woman).

When the moment comes that the couples realise that they are in love, it is rather unexpected and unplanned (Brokeback Mountain).

There is always an incredibly hopeless obstacle whether that’s due to waring families (Romeo and Juliet), an arranged marriage and money (Titanic), or even being the subject of a bet (10 Things I Hate about You).

When it comes down to overcoming these obstacles to make love work, people change. They throw away bad habits, society pressures, and family obligations. They forget everything they were ever taught in order to simply grasp onto this love because they realise their life is not worth living without it. Love is now the pinnacle. Love Rules.

With the hope and faith in this newly recognised love, they stand in the eye of death, society ostracism, impoverishment, and ridicule. They are willing to give up their entire world to love this other person with all that they have. Is this still realistic enough?

The stories of our much loved romantic movies are still unreal. Leonardo DiCaprio, Heath Ledger, Jude Law, Noah Centineo, Ryan Gosling, Richard Gere, Jake Gyllenhaal, Sam Claflin. (Although my handsome boyfriend beats them all).

The stories always include a love interest that seems out of someone’s league. Jack Black was blinded by his model girlfriend before he realised (unexpectedly) he was in love with Kate Winslet (The Holiday). Rachel McAdams was out of the league of Ryan Gosling due to class and money (The Notebook). Kate Winslet was out of Leonardo DiCaprio’s league due to class and money (Titanic). Matthew McFadyen was out of Keira Knightley’s league due to class and money (Pride and Prejudice).

The difference in status makes the final joining of the couple a triumph. But a successful romantic movie couldn’t leave it at that. There needs to be some barrier that won’t allow the union to continue. That lack of conclusion leaves the audience hanging, hoping. What does this mean about us as society? It means that a lot of viewers want the typical finality of monogamous unity. We want a marriage, a proposal, a statement of serious intent.

But it also means we like the arc – we like watching people beat obstacles to get love. The higher the stakes, the more enthralling the movie.

Look at Titanic, even in the freezing water, they already defeated so many impossible obstacles one after the other throughout the film – both managing to escape bullets and society’s expectations whilst miraculously staying alive till this moment.

Jack loved Rose so much that he made her promise that she would survive and persevere, even with the awareness of his impending death.

“Promise me you'll survive. That you won't give up, no matter what happens, no matter how hopeless.”

There is still a debate today if Rose should have shared that piece of wood in the water with Jack for him to survive too. It would have lessened her chances of survival but increase his. What did this mean of her love? Did she love him less?

Without obstacles in the way of a love so fierce that both people would risk EVERYTHING to grasp onto it, is the movie really worth watching?