If you’re not all the way in, you’re all the way out

A womanifesto on consent, deception, and reclaiming your union – Lilith’s fire for survivors.

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A true union demands annihilation of the separate self – not the destruction of one, but the willing dissolution of two into a third: God, Spirit, and the new life they create together.

That holy alchemy asks for everything: name, body, story, trust, truth. It asks for the willful self-offering of two whole beings who’ve met and chosen to burn together into one light.

But what if the other is not a partner, but a hunter?

What if one steps into the holy space with a mask, a polished charm, a cold architecture of deceit? He knows his intent. He conceals it. He grooms, lures, and coerces. He studies empathy like a map, and uses tenderness as a lure. He hunts the loyal heart – the one who believes in vows and miracles and gives herself, body and soul, into the void because she thinks she’s stepping into the light.

That is not consent. Not truly.

Consent emptied by deception is consent stolen. When the world around you becomes an inverted reality designed to confuse and disorient – free will becomes illusion. The abuser keeps his hands clean in his own mind while he rigs the game. The victim stays, because she believes. She hopes. She loves. She sacrifices. She walks down the aisle believing she is choosing, while the architect of her captivity smiles from the shadows – satisfied.

In that moment – that reckless surrender under false skies – she is absolved of consent for anything that comes after. She entered a covenant built on lies.

This is the cruelest trick of narcissistic predators: they weaponize consent into a tool of blame. When the house of mirrors falls, they point and accuse. They demand accountability from the one who was gaslit, groomed, and trafficked in affection. “You chose to stay,” they say – as if faith in illusion were a crime. And so the survivor turns inward, hunting herself for guilt that never belonged to her.

But we will not let that stand.

You were choosing to stay – but you didn’t know the ground was false. You were faithful to a story that was never real. You loved into a trap. This is not moral failure; it’s betrayal dressed as devotion. You are forgiven – because you were deceived. You are free – the moment truth pierces the illusion.

Truth is the emancipatory weapon. Truth rips the mask off. Truth rebuilds the boundary. Truth restores the trinity: self, other, and the sacred intelligence that witnesses all.

When you wake, you realize you were never in a union at all. You were alone with a thief wearing the language of love. That is why there was no God in that house, no spirit, no flame – only performance. That’s why you were left hollow, starving for what never truly existed. No amount of prayer or effort can re-enchant a rigged altar.

You don’t need another round of pretending. You need the truth. You need your edges back. You need to know that loyalty does not mean self-erasure, and that love offered into illusion is not virtue – it’s self-harm sanctified by confusion.

And when you know – truly know – you reclaim your power.

This is not forgiveness as submission. This is liberation. Forgiveness means you stop taking responsibility for the crimes of those who fed on your faith. It means you stop orbiting the predator, trying to explain your worth. It means you anchor back into your center.

Stand like Lilith: sovereign, unbowed. Let the smoke of the false union clear. Place your hands on your heart and say, “No more.”

Make a new altar – one that honours your body, your name, your incarnation. Invite the sacred back in, and let that third presence be the witness that never left.

Because only when truth stands at the threshold does real union become possible.

Until then: Learn to love the light you are capable of holding.

Trust your perception. Know the truth. Take your power. Burn the lie. You are the light.