If the World was Perfect!

There is not a time that goes by and I don't want to call you. However, there you are in the middle of life and no matter how much I want to fit in and be there with you, I have to let the process of trust carry you to the next moment and pray that your thoughts would be on me. Somehow the dynamics of life has us both hesitant to make a move. Fear of disappointment and geographical boundaries set our thoughts on what could be, but what isn't.

So many times I wanted to hold your hand and look into your beautiful eyes. Tell you stories and nothing that hold lies. Show you my scares because I have a feeling that you'd be the last to hold judgement. I thought of a million ways how the rest of days could be spent. I've held others, but never felt the conversation quite like yours. I catch myself thinking of you doing my daily task, at times I use to hide it, but its something my heart could never mask.

I'd imagine if things were perfect, we would have given this at least one try. Even though as the world is, I see you perfect and I wish that I could lift you high to the sky. I know, it feels unreal at times to even think I'm revealing myself to you. However, if I kept this in, I wouldn't have the slightest clue of what to do.

I'm sorry, clearly not responsible for what this crazy heart of mine do at times. Life with all it's perfections somehow put you in my path, and all I asked for was someone to hold and to share a laugh. Yeah, we can go on and continue to fight these endless battles all by ourselves until we can't run or stand any more. I often dream of you and holding your hand at the end of the day and sometimes walking down a beach front shore.

The time is never perfect, but the moments gives us are perfected by his grace! The day I met you and looked upon your face, I was glad He put me in your space. I really didn't think nothing of it because of the professional setting. Yes, I hold the conversations we had and somehow I didn't know it, but my heart was scoping you and slowly doing a careful vetting.

As you know my feeling for you and I really never wanted to wait for a perfect moment or time to an event to present a time for us. I know, your mind was the furthest away from a possibility of being an "us". Nonetheless, for what I'm about to say could be my very best. Even if the world was perfect, you'd had me nonetheless.

If I didn't say this, all the poets would cry! If I didn't say this, then my heart would slowly die! For there will never be a day of perfection, so I'd have to say this feeling I have, I don't wish to have any other connection. I'd take an "L" if our souls never connect, but if I didn't try I would loose my self respect. I was so scared and yet clam to reveal myself to you. Couldn't even open up to my ex when we were married. The communication wasn't there and that was an awful burden to carry.

No, cannot call this love, but I am so ready to explore your soul. Even if the world was perfect, your hand I would tightly hold.