I Would Be Nothing Without My Friends

I have written many articles about my friendships over the years. Every time I thought about a friendship that ended, I would write about it and try to put my feelings and questions into words. I have tried to figure out why many of my friendships ended and why some of them ended the way they did. I wrote about how someone who I considered my best friend broke up our friendship years ago and how it broke my heart. And as I wrote in the article, I still don’t know why. A friend I thought would be in my life forever abandoned me when my mother died. Groups of friends didn’t want me around. And so on and so forth. All of these have given me endless material to write about. And so I did. I have. I have written about all of those and more. Because that is something to write about, isn’t it? It’s a problem, it’s a story, it’s pretty much blog article material. It’s something that people relate to, because we have all been there. People want to read about it and offer their words of advice and share their own stories in the comments section so we can all help each other. But what about the other side of things? What about the other friends? THE friends? The OGs?

My friends know I love them. I make sure to tell them every time we say goodbye, and I try to show them however I can. I’m not saying I’m the perfect friend, but I try to be a good friend and be there for them. And I have realized that, while I was writing about my friendship problems over the years, which, really, only make up about 30% or so of my adult friendship life, I forgot to write about the friends who stayed. I figured a story or article about something that people can relate to, would be a better read than one about good, consistent, drama-free friendships. If there is no drama, then who wants to read about that, right? This is the internet!

Well, when my mother was diagnosed with cancer, my friends all rallied behind me. When she died, I received so many texts, calls and Facebook/Instagram messages, I could barely answer them all. I was away, or technically back home dealing with funeral arrangements and my mother’s estate, and one of my childhood friends came round pretty much every day and made me feel less alone in my mother’s big, empty house. My family all stood behind me too. My aunts, uncles, cousins and even my mother’s best friend, who is like family to me, helped me through it all and they showed me why family ties are nothing without a sense of friendship underneath. Despite the pain, it felt good.

This past year has made me realize, more than ever, that I would really be nothing without my friends. Current friends, new friends, friends from my past who showed up out of the blue and comforted me and made me miss the years we’ve lost because life happened and we drifted apart… They are all special. They have all been there for me. They have laughed with me, they have cried with me, and this year, I spent Christmas and New Year’s Eve with them. Again, it felt good. It felt great.

My friends are my sanctuary. Friends, family, chosen family or otherwise, make life worth living. For every friendship that ended and broke up my heart, there have been dozens that have healed me. And I am so grateful for all of them.