I will meet many people of all kinds in my life.

There is a "law of agreement":

Whether it's friends, work or love, if you feel special fit with each other, communicate happily, and even make you shine in time, do you know what it is?

1% may be that you met a soul mate, and 99% may be that you met someone whose experience, IQ and EQ are above you, but the other person is only in backwards compatibility.

I will meet many people of all kinds in my life.

When you meet someone who respects and appreciates you in everything, it's probably not that you are excellent, but that the other person is superior to you in all aspects and has strong tolerance.

A tolerant person is not only obedient to the public, but also respected.

It is a person's greatest talent to be tolerant of words, people and things.

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01

Rongyan

Laozi said: "Good is like water, and water is good for all things and does not dispute."

It means that the noblest character, like water, can contain and nourish all things, but it does not compete everywhere.

Tolerance is an excellent character, but also a pattern. Such people have an open mind and do not compete with others for long and short;

They are far-sighted, looking at the overall situation, and not haggling over every ounce.

Di Renjie in history is familiar to many people.

Once he was ordered by Emperor Wu Zetian to do an errand.

In the morning, because he was in a hurry, he and his housekeeper Di Chun randomly found a food stall.

Because of the booming business, I waited for an empty table for a long time.

The man was very busy, so Di Chun cleaned himself up.

Just after cleaning up, a beggar in rags came and patted the table and shouted angrily: "You have cleaned up my meal before I finished eating it. What should you do?"

Di Chun was busy making amends and promised to buy one.

But beggars are adamant, and they must have one or two silvers.

Di Chun thought that one or two silvers would be enough to buy several tables of rice, so he argued with him.

When Di Renjie saw it, he smiled and said, "Di Chun, give him a silver or two. It is really our fault."

The beggar was surprised and took the money and left.

Di Chun was angry and began to complain: It was too cheap for that beggar.

Di Renjie said, "What is more important than what we have to do? Eat quickly, and you have to hurry later. "

What happened just now seems to have never happened to Di Renjie, and Di Chun admires it very much.

In the face of beggars' unreasonable words and deeds, there are two patterns and two attitudes:

Di Chun was in a tit-for-tat relationship with beggars and almost missed the big event; However, Di Renjie, with a big pattern, takes care of the overall situation and tolerates the insolence of beggars.

How big the pattern is, how much tolerance can be shown.

As the ancients said, "A great disaster begins with the unbearable, and it is necessary to take care of it".

That is to say, no matter how big the disaster is, it can't be tolerated for a moment.

External tolerance, internal pattern, in fact, has a more careful system thinking, can separate priorities, so it can seek advantages and avoid disadvantages.

People who are tolerant do not care about the details, but look higher and ignore the immediate gains and losses.

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02

be broad-minded

The Qin dynasty Reese said in the book of remonstration:

"Taishan does not let the soil, so it can become big; Rivers and seas don't choose trickle, so they can be deep. ".

It means: Taishan does not abandon any soil, so it can be so tall; Rivers and seas do not reject any trickle, so they can be so deep and wide.

People are the same, if they can accommodate the shortcomings of others, they will attract people, which is not driven by interests, but by their own confidence, confidence and aura.

There are always unruly and unreasonable people in life, and those who lack self-confidence will argue for it, while those who have strong self-confidence will take it in stride, avoid contradictions, examine people's difficulties and forgive others' mistakes.

Accommodation is not a combination of three views, but comes from a confident state of mind.

There is such a fable.

One day, when Confucius' students were sweeping the floor outside the door, a guest in green came in and asked him a question: "How many seasons are there in a year?"

The student replied with confidence: "Of course it is spring, summer, autumn and winter."

The guest shook his head and said, "No, there are only three seasons in a year."

When two people can't argue, they decide to bet: who loses and who knocks three heads.

When Confucius came out of the house, the students asked Confucius to judge.

But Confucius glanced at the guests and said, "There are three seasons in a year."

The students are frightened, but they can't help it.

After the guests left, the students questioned the teacher and Confucius said:

"Can't you see the man was green all over?

He is a grasshopper. The grasshopper was born in spring and died in autumn. He has never seen winter. He will be satisfied when you talk about the three seasons. It doesn't make sense when you talk about the noisy seasons and nights.

It doesn't matter if you lose, you get three heads. "

Although this story was invented by later generations, there is such a "Three Seasons Man" in reality.

It is not unprincipled submission and compromise to follow the trend, but to tolerate people who are inferior to themselves, and to value harmony.

Respect the objective facts, and don't have to talk high or low.

Whether you are right or not, just arguing with others is exposing your self-distrust.

If the heart is already guaranteed, why care about other people's side door?

A truly confident person will certainly tolerate a person who is not confident.

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03

Let things happen

John Donne said: "No one is an isolated island, and everyone is a part of the vast continent."

Mountains don't meet, but people have to meet.

It is inevitable that there will be differences of opinion when getting along with people. If you want to cooperate happily, you should play an inclusive role, so as to make the situation develop in a benign way.

If everyone wants to have the upper hand and give way to each other, it is very likely that both sides will lose. Therefore, it is a kind of wisdom and an ability to tolerate people who are stronger than themselves and more tolerant of people with obvious shortcomings.

Tolerance is the key to working with others.

When Lv Duan was prime minister in the early Northern Song Dynasty, he was once framed by treacherous court officials and demoted to return home for the people.

After returning home, some local officials and gentry gathered together to pay a visit to him.

Lv Duan was in distress situation. After telling the truth in public, the gentry celebrities changed their faces, looked at each other and took away all the gifts they had just brought. Some people even spoke sarcastically.

Lv Duan smiled at it.

A few days later, the emperor sent a suggestion to summon Lv Duan to his post, and the gentry gathered in Lv Duan's home again to flatter in every possible way.

The extremely angry, want to drive them out of the door.

But Lv Duan said, "I was not the prime minister before, so everyone's actions are understandable. Now that I am officially reinstated, I should benefit the village. Everyone is a villager in the village, and it is right to help each other. "

Those who do great things can not only hold up the ups and downs, but also tolerate others' opposite attitudes with the disparity of their status.

Such great benevolence and understanding of tolerance is an attitude on the surface, but it actually comes from inner strength and wisdom.

Romain rolland said: "When you tolerate others, you will not feel that you are in a hostile position with others."

It is better to defend people than to reconcile, and to argue leniently.

If the heart cares, there are complaints everywhere; if the heart relaxes, it is always spring.