I Went to a Party for Black Women and Asian Men

I’m a black woman and I've always been attracted to Asian men. It probably started with all those Hong Kong action movies that I watched with my mom as a teenager. But, growing up in a segregated city in the Midwest, there weren’t many Asian people around.

In four years of high school, there were only three Asian kids, including a cute Chinese boy that I had a crush on in tenth grade, who transferred to another school, just as we were becoming friends.

As an adult, I had actually wanted to meet more Asian guys. I’d dated a few, but I hadn’t met as many as say, black or Latino guys, so when a friend of mine invited me to a party he was hosting at his house for black women and Asian men, I was all for it.

My friend (a Vietnamese man who likes black women) had been listening to my boyfriend drama for the last few months and he thought this would pull me out of my funk. Boy was he right!

At first I wondered if it was too contrived to specifically try to meet Asian guys, but then I thought, “Hey, if you want Mexican food, then you go to a Mexican restaurant,” so to speak. At least at an event for black women and Asian men, I wouldn’t have to worry about the guys not liking black women!

When I arrived, I was pleased to see that all the guys were pretty attractive. I was also relieved that there was an equal number of women, so we wouldn’t have to fight over all the hotties! I was nervous at first, but no sooner than I had grabbed a beer, a nice Taiwanese man, who happened to be standing near me, began chatting with me.

We talked about everything from old school Hip Hop to outdoor sports and as the night went on, I ended up meeting a banker, a DJ, and a filmmaker, amongst others, all of whom were equally interesting.

The women were cool too. They were all educated and eclectic and it was nice to have real conversations with no cattiness involved. In this intimate setting, we were free to be ourselves with no stares or judgments from outsiders, and no one, black or Asian, fit any stereotypes.

Everyone brought something to the party and most people brought alcohol, so by the end of the night, we started becoming even friendlier with one another. People began pairing off and some couples started making out and this point, I was quite tipsy. I started dancing and the next thing I knew, this hot Chinese guy that I had recently met, got behind me and started dancing with me.

More couples joined in the dancing and soon, my new dance partner and I found ourselves in a four-way grind on the dance floor! Grinding eventually led to me making out with my new friend. We spent the rest of the night hanging out together and he ended up driving me home.

The event was definitely a success and even though we all came together to meet men/women of a certain race, at the end of the night, we were just guys and girls having fun and getting lucky. The funny thing is that no one even spoke of race the whole night. Race was the hors d'oeuvre, but it wasn't the main course.

I’ve come to the conclusion that race-based dating is fine, as long as race isn't the only focal point. There has to be more substance because focusing on race alone is nothing but a fetish. In addition, you can't expect a person of another race to fit some stereotype.

If a guy of another race expects me to be like some “around the way girl” that he saw in a music video, that’s not me. But, if he wants a black woman, who studies several foreign languages, likes to write, and loves 80’s New Wave music, then he can come on over! I don’t expect Asian guys to be mild-mannered or mystical in any way. I just expect them to be honest and straight-forward like any other guy.

As far as looks are concerned, we all have some type of preference and it's not a crime to find people of a certain race attractive. If a guy of another race finds my brown skin, curly hair, and the shape of my ass to be a turn on, that’s great as long as I’m not some interchangeable black woman to him and he likes me for me.

Yes, I’m attracted to the way Asian guys look, but I’m not going to date any random Asian dude just because he’s Asian. I also don’t want to date ONLY Asian guys because my lust is equal opportunity! I just want to keep my options open and find love, no matter what race the person happens be.

There was no more boyfriend drama after the party because I broke up with him and moved on. I continued going out with the guy who drove me home and if anyone asked how we met, we'd just say that we met at a party, not “We met at a party for black women and Asian men”. When we were together, we were just a man and a woman dating and having a good time, regardless of how we got together.