I thought I would just live like this...

Now, I thought I could only do this.

Continue to be an obedient child and follow the path of his parents.

But I will live in the frame from now on,

In the frame that originally belonged to the parents.

Is there anything wrong with that? Isn't it good to follow the road?

I asked myself that before.

But that's not me!

So what kind of you are?

I asked the other.

I used to know that I was very unhappy.

Has been constrained.

My access control still exists when I arrive at the university.

How long it will take to get home after class, all have to be calculated.

After class on Friday, I will drive home immediately. From school to the train station by bus, Taichung train station to Changhua train station, Changhua train station to go home, all timetables must be listed.

I couldn't go out on my own. Later, I was so nervous when I went to buy stationery and food when I was in college. (Because of past experience, I am extremely afraid of people I don't know)

But I am very rebellious.

When I was facing the national exam, I didn’t have my own desk, so I asked my dad for a desk to move upstairs. Dad said, if I can move upstairs by myself, the desk will be given to me.

My dad is sure I can't move it, after all, the desk is made of solid wood, which is several times the weight of me in middle school. (The stairs in my house are the width that can only be walked by one person, and the desk is a large table where two people can sit side by side.)

The table is similar to the picture below. (Long like this👇)

At that time, I didn't know where the courage came from, so I moved.

As the saying goes, the unity is great (?), (hey no, only myself XD).

I just took the hard card, moved upstairs, and stuffed it into the too small door-my room.

(Actually it is my sister's room)

Then go downstairs and tell my dad, Dad, I moved upstairs, you can't go back.

That was the first successful rebellion.

I can't forget that my dad looked at me dumbfounded, then sighed and said, just give it to you.

I happily went upstairs and moved the book and lamp to the table.

What happened later?

Just step into the student council,

Determined to rush to the Haisheng Hall as a summer guide for the sake of my dream.

Finally decided to be with my husband, decided to give birth to a child. Relentlessly just to want to be together forever. (In my senior year internship)

So, I really thought I could only do this.

Continue to live in the framework, I still haven't collided with myself enough, I still have a lot of things I want to try.

But what is the dream?

I forgot. Can't remember it anymore.

I love the sea very much, but I am extremely afraid of water.

I love music very much and I have never been recognized.

I love painting very much, but there is no future.

Huh, when dreams collide with reality, it seems that this will happen?

Or is it that I am stagnating and don't want to move forward?

I know myself, I am the latter.

Save time and effort, don’t waste energy to struggle and resist,

But it has been unhappy all the time.

How long have you not smiled happily?

It should be said, how long have you not been happy, "Laughing for yourself?"

It was mentioned a few months ago that I was reading the book "What's So Hard in Life, Almost Just Good" by Niiya Ninosuke.

Mentioned in the last paragraph:

Not to say don't work hard.

Instead, work hard if you should work hard, and let it go when you are tired or sad.

Let yourself go first, and then continue after a good rest.

After finishing the final emptying and resetting,

I want to learn to use this method for a while.

Clash and oppose yourself, and finally, reset it again😊.

After that, I will slowly become the mine I want to be.