I Think That I Am Polyamorist

I have not been in a committed relationship for years now. Not because I have never been offered it, but because I find committed relationships, to ONE person, to be very confining and restrictive.

I am a backpacker, a wanderer, a modern-day Ronin, and I love traveling the world learning new skills, learning more about myself, and getting to connect with like minds.

I love my FREEDOM.

“I don’t think a loving relationship should be about anyone giving me my freedom, but not TAKING away my freedom.”

I was chatting with a chick I met in an Alaskan hostel, and we had a really great conversation about life, societal issues, and romance.

We had talked for about a good 4 hours straight, and the hours just flew by (that is how you know you have a good conversation).

Somehow I had mentioned that I find polyamory to be quite an attractive relationship for me, as I said to her, “I don’t think a loving relationship should be about anyone giving me my freedom, but not TAKING away my freedom,” to which she agreed.

And she might have agreed because she too is also a polyamorist.

This got me to really think about why I have not been in a relationship for some time and why I honestly don't want a committed relationship — because I feel it would take away my FREEDOM to be me.

I am not a jealous guy; I find jealousy to be a child's emotion.

Yet, so much of society believes that jealousy is a virtue.

That if you really love a person, you will only have eyes for them and live your life based around them and them alone.

But that is silly; you are going to be attracted to multiple people in life (not saying this is a truth for 100% of the population because it is not), you are going to fantasize about having sex with certain people, you are going to WANT to have sex with others.

Why is that so bad?

Why do we make jealousy in a relationship a virtue when we do not do that in any other areas of our life?

We would not dare be jealous in our job area for fear of being fired.

We would not dare be jealous around our friends for fear of losing them.

Yet, we think it is okay to be jealous in a romantic relationship, which many believe is one of the best relationships we can ever have.

It seems unfair to tell me that I am supposed only to have eyes for one person.

Do people not understand that one person cannot be EVERYTHING and DO EVERYTHING for one person?

And that is not a bad thing.

It’s okay to love this person for this one trait and another for that one trait they have.

We have multiple friends, and we like them all for who they are.

We have multiple movies we love because they provide us certain entertaining moments.

We have multiple kids, and we love something specifically about each of our kids.

So, why is having multiple loving partners a bad thing?

It is fear at the end of the day from many people who feel they will lose their partner or may not be good enough.

And fear and love never mix, as that only spells disaster.

I think I am a polyamorist because I just don't have those fears.

I don’t want to control others, and I sure as hell am not going to be controlled.

“If they leave you and come back, they are yours, and you are theirs. If they leave you and never come back, you were never really in their heart.”

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