I Saw Him With Another Woman

I saw him with another - I don't know if he's cheating on me! Are you going through this situation? 

Maybe you are afraid to confront him, to ask him who she was and what he was doing with her because you are afraid to find out the truth. But sitting next to someone you no longer trust completely, constantly wondering whether or not you have cause for concern becomes unbearable…

I saw him with another - I don't know if he's wrong: what to do.

Step 1: Keep Calm! Don't get annoyed, don't have a crying crisis… You can get fired from nothing and that's real! Try to control your emotions and the first instinctive reaction: to throw something in their head… Try to think logically and objectively: do you have other reasons to worry or is everything in your mind? Do you know that you are extremely jealous?

Review the scene and the details you remembered: be careful, your brain can party, so it seems to you that a friendly hug was a tender and romantic one… In what situation did you see your boyfriend? Was he on the street, in a cafe, in a restaurant? How was he sitting next to that girl? Was he very close to her, did he touch her in a friendly or more intimate way? Did they seem to be hiding or were they at ease?

Think carefully about all these very important details! In addition, review all the options: if you are not sure if they were intimate, but just hugged, as some friends might do, remember - he has an old friend he was close to, a schoolmate/co-worker with whom he gets along well, maybe even a cousin? It is essential to review all these possibilities before throwing flames on your nose!

Step 2: Talk to him! But not anyway - but ask him naturally, absolutely calmly, what he did that day and who he met! Doesn't he give you an explanation and doesn't mention a date with a girl? Then ask him out well if he is no longer absorbed in the connection.

Do you still deny it? Then tell him you saw him with a girl in that place. If he gives you a reasonable explanation (he was a colleague, a friend), then it would be logical to accept it - if you trust him and he gave you no other reason to doubt your relationship! But if he denies, says that it wasn't him, that it seemed to you, that you imagined yourself or made up an excuse in a hurry, something you can't believe, then only now do you have reasons to worry.

Carefully analyze the excuse offered and see if it goes on the defensive - either start apologizing, look for excuses and alibis, or accuse yourself and get angry. Follow their body reactions carefully and calmly: through non-verbal language, we lie, much more difficult. He shakes his hands a lot, does not look into your eyes, looks insistently at something or in the lower left, does not sit still - all this indicates nervousness or fear. But it is not yet time to make a scene, a crisis - keep calm and pretend that you accept his apologies so that he behaves as usual.

Step 3: Other signs. If you have seen him with another and you do not know if he is cheating on you and the previous steps have not solved anything but to increase your doubts, it is time to think seriously about your entire relationship.

Are you happy? Do you think he is happy and satisfied? Do you have frequent quarrels? Look for other signs, possible clues that he is cheating. He behaves more distantly, avoids talking to you much, doesn't look into your eyes, doesn't feel like having sex anymore, is more absent, doesn't answer the phone? All of these are possible signs that this is what you are afraid of.

But an opposite change in behavior can indicate the same thing, so don't be fooled (both ways). If he treats you more kindly than usual, he will bring you small gifts, pamper you, take you out of the city - all are signs of guilt; your boyfriend is trying to compensate, to pay in his way for a mistake. If, however, nothing has changed between you, he behaves as usual towards you, maybe the whole mystery lies in his fault without error! What does this mean?

Maybe the girl you saw was an ex-girlfriend he only talked to for a while, who asked her something, but nothing else happened. But your boyfriend can feel guilty and just for that, knowing that you would be upset: so he lies to you, invents an excuse, and hopes to believe it. So, if you have no other signs that you are cheating, try talking to him again, telling him that you will not be upset, but that you do not believe him!

Step 4: Check it. It would be better not to get here: it is not a very nice situation for the couple. But if you saw him with another and you don't know if he's cheating on you, if the conversation with him didn't go anywhere and he still denies, being defensive, and you discovered other signs of possible infidelity, you have no choice - you have to find out.

Living in doubt is too much stress and no one deserves it. So when she tells you she'll be somewhere, ask a friend to see if she's there and with whom. Check this several times and see what results in you have. Surprise him and go a few times yourself, under the pretext (to bring him lunch) to school/work if he looks upset. If you can, look subtly on the phone as well - but it doesn't help much, as it will most likely delete any dubious messages or calls.

In addition, if he catches you checking his phone, you may have an unpleasant argument. Checking your boyfriend is the last option, a limit one, when you have run out of others, because it is not a very nice act, especially in a couple of relationships But if you feel that you no longer trust him and that he is lying to you, it can be useful. If you checked him a few times and found that he was not where he should have been or was caught again with a girl, then step 5.

Step 5: Face it. I hope you didn't get here. But if after asking yourself "I saw him with another - is he cheating on me?" and you went through all the previous steps, and the results indicated this probability, you have no choice!

Tell him you have evidence and you know he's cheating on you. Ask him who she is. See how he reacts and what he tells you. If he still denies and seems sincere (don't forget the non-verbal language), ask him for explanations for all the clues you gathered: the girl he was with, his changed behavior towards you, the lies about where he is.

If he has explanations, then you have exaggerated and you should apologize and try hard to make up for it… But it is necessary to take this step, to confront him - do not continue to live with a man you can not trust!