I’m No Longer Here / Ya no estoy aquí

If you reflected on Mexico's social class divide that comprised the intensity of Roma, then you need to watch I'm No Longer Here.

I'm No Longer Here, directed by Fernando Frías de la Parra, is a captivating insight into the cholombiano subculture of Monterrey, Mexico. The main plot of the story follows a teenager named Ulises, who is the head of a gang called "Los Trekos." Alongside his friends, their interests are composed of slowed-down Colombian cumbias, throwing dance parties, and ruling the neighborhood. Even in this small town kind of scene, the music is the glue that keeps this group together.

When you look at the way Ulises and his friends dress, their styling choices stand out in the best way. Baggy clothing, white converse shoes, and spiky dyed hair are some of the main staples for this descendant of cholo fashion. While it may seem like an odd trend, Los Trekos are a statement against societal norms. Their dedication to the cholombiano scene is not only endearing, but downright cool!

To better understand what makes I'm No Longer Here an incredible movie, here are it's most significant topics:

1. Importance of Los Trekos and Kolombiana Cumbias

Street gang culture and the importance of unity for Monterrey youth is the primary basis of the film. The colloquial term, "Kolombiana Cumbias", is the name that the characters give to the type of music they crave. These cumbias originate in Colombia, and Los Trekos are dedicated to preserving its impact. The slowed down twist on it is what makes their dancing and culture come alive within the community.

While there are real and negative consequences to the gang activity of Los Trekos, being part of this group is ironically giving the youth light. Having a sense of pride in one's hometown, developing a music taste, and maintaining strong friendships is what we all crave at some point. Ulises finds home and solace in these exact benefits of the gang. Being the leader of Los Trekos, that is what makes this group so important to him.

2. Mexican Identity in the United States

After having to leave Monterrey, Mexico, Ulises finds hardship while being in the United States. He doesn't know English nor does have the same connections to Los Trekos and the freedoms he did back home. Down on his luck and saddened by the loneliness of his current position, this realization hits him deeply.

Ulises is not alone in his struggle of being an immigrant in the United States. For many Latinx migrating north from the global south, there is a common but heavy shared plight. My own family was born in Mexico and moved to Chicago when my dad was a child. Being confronted with language barriers, culture shock, and experiencing racism or discrimination took a huge mental toll on them. Most importantly, being away from their acestral homelands made my abuelos very depressed at times.

For immigrants and first generation Latinx children, there may be points in the movie that hit close to home. Having the constant weight of assimilation, being the identity of a minority group, and attemping to stay connected to one's cultural values is a lot to manage.

Personally, there isn't one definition of my identity as a Mexican woman. Like Ulises, I am very proud of the pueblo in which my parent and family originated from. What struck me about I'm No Longer Here, was that I can relate to the emptiness of missing cultural events. Ulises held great importance to memories of dancing in his town. I too, long to experience this sense of home for myself.

3. Coming of Age and Relationships

The expected coming of age and romance trope is played out a little differently in this film. I'm sorry to bring some bad news, but you won't see the highs and lows of a suburban white teen dealing with acne and a bad high school breakup. Mac Demarco fans do not make an appearance here, unfortunately.

Instead, Im No Longer Here gives a grittier reality for immigrant youth in Queens, New York. Ulises is uprooted from his home and forced to live in a new unknown. The city environment in unrelenting and cold, and Ulises remains an outlier to most. In comparison to his fellow workers, he is "weird". This gives him easy access to be bullied for his spanish, his music choices, and the way he presents himself as a part of Los Trekos.

**Warning: spoilers ahead**

Lin, the granddaughter of a convenience store worker, tries to make an effort to communicate with Ulises. While this is very sweet to see, it is also noticeably uncomfortable and difficult because of their stark language barrier. Even though the audience may wish for more substance to develop, there really can't be without greater understanding of each other. Lin is unaware of Ulises' life in Monterrey, his constant pain living in New York, and even his basic interests. He is unable to gage the same information from her, which leaves him feeling unmotivated to form close bonds with others.

4. Topics of Trauma: Gangs, Immigration, Violence

No child or adult should have to deal with feeling scared for their life in their own homes. Having the social pressure of joining gangs, living amongst cartel violence, and facing the dangers of crossing over the border makes the journey to the United States just as harrowing. Ulises is continuously faced with immense stress, having his livelihood threatened by factors out of his control. This gives him, and many who can relate, a large burden to carry.

In Mexico and Central America, many of its citizens decide to come to the United States for their own safety. The presence of cartels, local gangs, corruption in the police force, and lack of security drive many to find shelter away from these traumatic stressors. However, those specific traumas which immigrants deal with is not acknowledged realistically enough in film. What I really liked about I'm No Longer Here, is how it depicts that sense of loss many experience when having to make these choices for their own protection.

While there are many roadblocks and policies of the law that discourage immigrants from coming here, many feel that they have no choice. Anyone would do what it takes to give their family the best life possible, which is why my own family did the same. In order to save one's family from violence or financial instability, going in to the United States is sometimes the most viable option.