I’m Done Explaining the Version of Me You Created In Your Head

There’s a version of me living in some people’s minds that… just isn’t me.

She’s always chill.

Never says no.

Laughs everything off.

Shows up, fixes things, stays silent, forgives quickly.

I used to fight that version. Try to adjust their image. Say, “That’s not who I am anymore.”

But here’s what I’ve realized:

If someone prefers the version of you they imagined over the person you’ve become — that’s not misunderstanding. That’s convenience.

And I’m done explaining it.

🔹 1. I let people build a version of me that served them

Back then, I gave too much.

Said “I’m fine” when I wasn’t.

Held my tongue to keep the peace.

Let others decide what kind of person I was — because approval tasted like safety.

The result?

They built a neat idea of me:

The dependable one.

The low-maintenance one.

The one who stays, even when she shouldn’t.

And I kept fulfilling that role… until it started to suffocate me.

🔹 2. Their old image doesn’t fit who I am now

Growth changes your voice.

It changes your needs, your pace, your priorities.

But some people don’t want to upgrade the picture of you they carry.

They flinch when you speak clearly.

Push back when you set a boundary.

Say, “Why are you acting this way?” when you’re finally being yourself.

I’m no longer playing along just to avoid discomfort.

Because I’ve grown.

And if someone’s stuck on Version 2017 of me, that’s their problem — not my responsibility.

🔹 3. I don’t owe anyone a step-by-step evolution report

You don’t need to justify healing.

You don’t owe anyone a press release for becoming a new version of you.

But I used to try.

“I’m just tired.”

“I’m going through something.”

“I didn’t mean to come off that way.”

All true. All said from a place of fear — fear of losing connection if they thought I was “too different.”

But people who really care? They update their understanding of you without needing the whole backstory.

🔹 4. Let them keep their version — I’ll keep my peace

Some people aren’t interested in knowing the real you.

They want access to the character they created — the one who doesn’t inconvenience them.

And that’s okay.

Let them keep their version.

Let them misread your silence.

Let them say “you’ve changed” like it’s a problem.

You don’t need to fix the version they built.

You just need to live fully inside the one you’ve reclaimed.

🔹 5. Explaining yourself to the wrong people is its own kind of prison

The more you explain, the more power you hand away.

Because you're not just sharing — you're often trying to prove you're still valid.

I used to hate being misunderstood.

Now, I accept it’s part of having boundaries.

They’ll twist your tone. Misread your motives. Rewrite your intentions.

And instead of constantly correcting, I’ve chosen this:

Silence.

Clarity.

And walking away from the version of me they loved because she asked for less.

🎯 Final Thoughts:

I’m not who I was.

And maybe that disappoints the version of me that others kept frozen in their minds.

The one who gave endlessly. Smiled quietly. Didn’t cause waves.

Let them miss her.

Because I don’t.

I won’t waste another breath convincing someone that I’m worth knowing now, not just remembering.

You imagined someone warm and easy.

I became someone strong and whole.

And I don’t need your understanding… to stay true to her.