Husband Sending Mixed Messages About Divorce (My Husband Gives Me Mixed Signals)

Husbands aren't always quick to share what they're feeling with their wives. This tends to leave women confused and uncertain about exactly where their marriage stands. Your inner instinct will rarely steer you wrong so if you've been feeling as though something has changed in how your husband sees you, don't ignore this. There are some warning signs he wants a divorce that you need to be aware of. If you spot any of these in your relationship, now is the time to act if you hope to save the marriage.

One of the most obvious signs he wants a divorce is he'll threaten you with it often. Even the happiest of couples will argue at times and say things they don't mean. One of those things may be to bring up the idea of divorce as a tool to upset or anger your spouse to gain the upper hand in the conflict. However, if your husband talks about it often or if comments on how fortunate other men are who are going through a divorce, don't take that lightly. He's trying to tell you that he's unhappy in the relationship and chances are very good that if he's talking about it openly, it's on his mind a lot.

Another of the signs he wants a divorce can be a bit more subtle. Many men will slowly pull away from not only their wives, but their children as well, if they're in an unhappy relationship. This manifests itself by the husband missing nightly meals because he has to work late or he'll come up with an excuse for why he can't go on vacation with you and the kids. If you've noticed this happening in your marriage, your husband is starting to create distance between him and the rest of the family.

Pay closer attention to how attentive your husband is and how concerned he seems by what's going on in your life. When a husband is emotionally invested in the marriage, he'll tend to his wife's needs by asking her if there's anything he can do to help her. If your husband has stopped doing this or if he seems preoccupied by what's going on in his own life, you should be deeply concerned. He may not care about you as much anymore and that will eventually lead to the end of your marriage.

Do This to Save Your Marriage

It is often the wife in a marriage who is more eager to save it. This is because women have different value systems compared to men. The most important thing to a woman is her relationships. So wives, I commend you for being eager and desirous to save your marriage. As a man who has been married to my only wife for the last sixteen years, allow me to share some practical tips with you.

What a Wife Can Do

The first thing for you to do to save your marriage is to empathize with your husband. As a man, I know how men think, feel and react. The wise wife knows how to turn her man's peculiar traits to her advantage. For example, all men have big egos (exceptions are rare). The foolish wife either knowingly or unknowingly damages her husband's ego. But the wise wife knows how to enhance and boost her husband's ego (sincerely, of course). Never ever put down or belittle your husband especially in public. Do not gossip about him behind his back either. Try to feel what he, as a man would feel. The more you violate this cardinal rule about preserving your husband's ego, the more you damage your relationship with him.

The second thing to do to save your marriage is to be realistic in your expectations of your husband. Maybe you still sometimes look at another married man and wish your husband would be more like him. Let me tell you, the grass is not always as green on the other side as you might think. Instead of wishing for what you do not have in your husband, try being grateful for what you do have in him. He may not be as rich, clever or charming as the next guy but he probably is better in many ways compared to others. This brings me to the following step to take.

Do not nag at your husband or be pedantic over every little mistake that he makes. The worst thing you can do to your husband besides damage his ego is to nag at him. Men cannot stand being nagged. Nagging almost always leads to some form of argument, either a full-blown shouting match or a cold war. Instead of nagging, make sure you speak calmly and politely. Instead of being picky over his mistakes, be supportive and helpful. Pro-actively look for ways you can do things for him that he needs done. Don't be concerned about whether he thanks you for it or not. Learn to serve your husband cheerfully. If your husband's love language is acts of service, this will be especially meaningful to him. This helps to address one of the most common reasons why marriages fail.

The all-too-common reason for marriage failure is partners not meeting each other's emotional needs. So wife, make your husband realize he needs you to meet his emotional needs. Here are some ways you can do so. As mentioned above, speaking his love language is important. Providing companionship to him or relieving him of the burdens of managing domestic affairs are other ways to meet your husband's emotional needs. Sometimes simple practices such as dressing elegantly or grooming yourself properly can go a long way towards attracting your husband to you. Do not give him reasons to be attracted to anyone else except you. In order to adequately meet each other's emotional needs, there's one very important thing you must do.

You must communicate correctly with one another. Be frank, open and honest in discussing how to fulfill each other's emotional needs and make each other feel good. If there are disagreements, talk it over calmly without accusing, blaming or fault-finding. Communicating correctly also means bringing up contentious issues at the right time and place. You should never argue in public or say anything that may lead to that.

Another thing you must do to save your marriage is change whatever attitudes or behavior that displeases your husband. I firmly believe that in order to get your husband to change, YOU must change first. Men often do not express their feeling or thoughts freely. Therefore, you must draw out from your husband what he thinks and feels about what displeases him. Then ask him what he wants you to do to change.

These are the fundamental steps to take for wives who want to save their marriages.

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Divorce does not have to be your only option. Even if it feels as though your relationship can't be saved because of the ongoing conflicts between you and your spouse, it can be. There are techniques that you can begin using today that will not only stop a divorce, but will help also you build a stronger and more loving marriage. To learn more visit: Steps to Save Your Marriage