Hurting My Own Heart

Have you ever fallen in love with two people at the same time? It’s like you looked at them and instantly you knew what the future would be like. Their eyes, personality and everything else about them makes you fall in love with them even more. You may ask “what’s wrong with being in love with both of them?” and the answer to that is they’re siblings.

……………………………

Walking down the school hall on my first day of the year at a new school. Again. My family moves around a lot because my dad’s job makes us. He says that this is the last time we would move but I’m not sure if I can believe him or not. It makes sense why his job sent him to California. There are so many more opportunities here than in our small town in Minnesota. I left all my friends behind and broke up with my girlfriend of 6 months because we both knew it wouldn’t work out. All of a sudden I bump into someone and drop all of my things.

“Oh my gosh! I’m so sorry!”

“It’s totally okay! It happens sometimes,” a girl’s voice says. I look up and lock eyes with the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen. I can barely even think of the words to say next.

“Here. Let me help you. I’m Amanda by the way,” I say as I’m trying to act normal.

“Well Amanda, I’m Katy! It’s nice to bump into you! I bet we’ll see each other again.” She says it with a giggle at the end. After picking up all of our things, we both go separate ways to our classes. I look behind my shoulder as she’s turning around, looking down and smiling.

I walk into my class as the last bell rings and go to find a seat that isn’t already taken. I find one in the back of the class, my favourite place of a classroom. There’s a seat at the very end of the row, next to a boy with ashy blonde hair. I put my things down and sit in the desk beside him. He lifts his head up and looks at me.

“Hi! I’m Amanda,” I say, a little too cheery for me.

“Hi. I’m Lucas. Why’d you sit here?”

“Oh..I prefer the back of the class rather than the front honestly.”

“Yeah. Me too. Oh looks like class is going to start,” he says as he sees the teacher walk in. He smiles at me before turning back to face the front. I’ve met two very attractive people in this school and it’s only been an hour.

Our teacher, Mrs. Jackson, starts by getting all of us to introduce ourselves. Where we’re from, what we like to do and our names. She hands out all of our papers for the first unit and we just chat for the rest of the class. I guess the first class of the year is normally this easy. This semester I have half days everyday and I love it. Next class is Pre-Calculus with Mr. Peters and Science with Mrs. Daiz. All three of my teachers are pretty nice and so far the students haven’t been rude or anything but we don’t know what will happen in the future. As the lunch bell rings and I walk out of my class, I see Katy again.

“Hey Katy!!” I say a little louder than I normally would’ve.

“Oh! Hi Amanda, how has your first day been?”

“It’s actually been good! My teachers seem pretty chill.”

“That’s good. Yeah, the teacher’s around here are something else but that’s a good thing. Do you want to be friends? I can give you my number so you can call me if you want.”

“Really? That would be awesome! Here, just put it into my contacts and I’ll shoot you a text so you have mine,” I say, giving her my phone. She enters her phone number and gives it back to me. I shoot her a text with a simple “Hi” in it. We both smile, say goodbye and I head home for the day.

It’s been a while since I’ve felt like this. It reminded me of the first time I met my ex girlfriend. It’s definitely an interesting feeling. As I walk up my street, I see my mother’s car in the driveway. Why is she even here? I stop for a second and take a breath before I have to deal with her. We haven’t seen her in the past month and all of a sudden she shows up. We know it’s only because she’s asking for our help again. I walk up the driveway and open the door to our stuff being smashed in the entrance. I dodge as our clock goes flying out the door, right past my head. Everything stops as I slam the door behind me. My mother looks at me and puts the other thing in her hand down.

“Okay. So I had a great day and then I walk up to see your car. Why are you here?”

“Uh. Hi Mandy! I’m glad to see you. I need your help with something,” she says politely. I don’t care how polite she is right now. She broke half of the stuff that was sitting in our entrance. I open the door again and hold it there.

“Get out. I don’t care anymore. You’ve been using us every time you appear at our door. We moved halfway across the country and you still followed us here. I don’t care that you are my mother. You broke our stuff, used us and disrespected us. Now get out or I’m calling the police.”

My sister and my dad look at me with their eyes widened. I don’t think they were expecting that. I was always my mother’s favourite and that’s okay if I have to treat her like this. She looks at me with a shocked look and goes to say something but keeps her mouth shut as she walks out the door. I hear her car door shut and the engine start as I lean against the wall. I look at the room and decide to pick everything up before I go make lunch for myself.

“I’ve never seen your mother listen to anybody,” my dad says. I can see the little tiny bit of fear he has from the event that took place and I soften my face when I look at him. I don’t like looking angry when I’m around him. He’s been everything to my sister and I. I could never replace him even if I tried.

“Honestly she should have learned from last time that I’m not taking her crap anymore. It’s ridiculous. If she ever shows up again, either call the cops or call me. I just think I’m the better option rather than her going to jail.”