How to Stop Loving Someone and Start Moving On

Most people agree that you can't control who you fall for. In some cases, however, it might not be true.

You might love someone else who feels the same about you.

Kim Egel is a San Diego marriage and family therapist.

You may love someone who constantly shows you they don't care about your best interests. Perhaps you and your partner are passionate about each other but have too many differences for a lasting relationship.

Love is complicated, no matter what the circumstance. Even if you know that the relationship is not working for you, it can be difficult to turn your emotions off.

These tips will help you get started on your journey.

Recognize the truth

Optimism doesn't have to be a negative trait. Actually, optimism is a sign that you can hold onto hope even in the most difficult and painful situations.

It's better to look at the present than imagine the future when you are dealing with difficult relationships.

You may feel different from the person you love. You may feel passionately in love for a few moments, but then spend most of your time disagreeing on everything.

Don't believe that giving up on your love or relationship with someone is a sign of weakness. Recognizing this requires courage and self-awareness. This is a positive step towards self-growth.

Realizing that your relationship is not going anywhere won't make you feel better overnight. However, it's a significant step.

Identify your relationship needs and deal breakers

You can identify the areas where a potential love interest might not be the right match by taking a close look at your needs and those of your partner.

Your FWB and you have a great relationship. You will feel more connected the more you spend time together. You will eventually fall in love with them.

There's a problem: Sometimes days, sometimes even weeks, go by without you hearing anything from them. You send them Facebook messages, and they respond.

You should prioritize good communication when you are in a relationship with someone. Their inability to respond to you promptly is a sign that they are not a good match.

Recognizing the shortcomings of someone you love can help you to get over them.

Love is unconditional

Egel states that "some loves might always scratch your heart." "Some relationships, particularly those that were integral to our growth at pivotal points in our lives, weave through the inner fabric of who we are."

It can feel as if you are letting go ofdeep love. However, you should take this opportunity to recognize the positive aspects of the relationship and any lessons learned. These feelings should be validated. Allow them to be heard.

Neglecting your emotions and their importance can make you feel stuck. You can find peace by honoring your experience and letting these intense feelings be part of your past.

Recognizing the importance of your past love can help you to see why it isn't serving you anymore.

Looking to the future

You can be stifled by your love for someone you don't trust or for someone you have never met. You'll have trouble finding happiness with someone else if you remain attached to someone you don't want in a relationship.

Even if you aren't ready to commit, casual dating can show you that there are many great people out there.

Finding the right partner can be difficult even if you are ready to start dating more seriously. Sometimes it takes time. It can be tempting to focus on your partner when you are having a difficult time dating.

Be open to the future and not look back at your past, even though it may be difficult at times.

Even if you don't feel right with anyone, it is possible to still work on your attachments. While you are working on this issue, it is perfectly acceptable to have casual relationships. However, you must be honest and open about your needs and the things you can offer.

Prioritize all other relationships

When heartbreak is over, people often forget about other important relationships.

As you heal, your family members and friends can be there to support you. You may find that they have valuable insight and wisdom to offer.

If you are trying to heal from the effects of a toxic partnership, your loved ones can be a source of strength and guidance. Pay attention to how you feel about your interactions.

It may be wise for you to cut down on your contact with someone who is making you feel judged or making you feel bad about yourself or your choices.

Take time for yourself

If you are in love with someone you care deeply about, you may make minor changes to your appearance to reflect what you desire in a partner.

Think about the parts of you that you may have hidden, suppressed, or changed. Perhaps you were more stylish than you prefer, began a new sport, or quit your favorite hobby.

Perhaps you tried to avoid expressing your emotions fully and stopped asking what it was you wanted.

Are you comfortable with these changes? Are you comfortable with these changes?

Make yourself available

Although it may seem obvious, this is an important step.

Distance can be your best friend when you are ready to move on. You can even rekindle old feelings with a simple text, call or Snapchat.

It is best to not contact the person unless you absolutely have to.

It may be a good idea to share your time with friends who have spent a lot of time together.

It is possible to keep your friendship. If the relationship was healthy, that's a good goal. Consider waiting until your love is less intense. You could end up causing unnecessary pain.

It may take some

Although feelings of love can and do disappear, it is not a quick process. It's normal to feel some discomfort during this time.

These are some tips that will help you get through this time.

• Be patient with yourself.
• Self-compassion is a practice that you can use to help yourself and others in similar situations.
• Accept the fact that it is normal to feel hurt.
• Remember that pain will not last forever.

• Loving someone you don't like, or someone who has hurt you does not make you stupid. It is easy to see the good in people and hope they will change. It may take some time to change your perspective and see that they won't change.

Having difficulty accepting or acknowledging your feelings

Therapy is a safe and non-judgmental place to express emotions and discuss strategies for productively dealing with them. You can learn coping skills to reduce the intensity of these emotions by talking with a therapist.

If you are experiencing any of these symptoms, it is always best to get professional assistance immediately.

• Have thoughts about suicide
• feel hopeless
• Persistent feelings of Depression or Anxiety

The bottom line

Humans are complex beings, with unique emotions. It's difficult to turn off your emotions, no matter how much you love someone.

Those feelings may be with you forever. It doesn't always end just because we want it.

Even if it's impossible to stop loving someone you don't love or who has caused you harm, there are positive and healthy ways you can deal with those feelings so that they stop causing you pain.