How to Stop Letting Other People’s Opinions Control Your Decisions

Have you ever made a decision—not because it was what you truly wanted, but because you were afraid of what other people might think?

I'm sure the answer is yes, for almost all of us.

Many of us have spent years seeking approval, avoiding conflict, and second-guessing ourselves because we’ve been conditioned to believe that other people’s opinions matter more than our own instincts. Whether it’s parents, friends, coworkers, or even society at large, the fear of disappointing others can leave us feeling stuck, anxious, and unable to trust ourselves.

But here’s the truth: No one else has to live with your decisions except for you. And if you constantly let external validation dictate your choices, you’ll wake up one day living a life that doesn’t feel like your own.

Trust me, I've been there.

So how do you break free? The answer is simple, but not easy: by going within.

Why We Care So Much About Other People’s Opinions

Before we can change a pattern, we have to understand it. If you struggle with prioritizing your own voice over others, it’s likely due to one (or more) of the following reasons:

1. Fear of Disapproval or Rejection

As humans, we’re wired for connection. Historically, being accepted by the group was a matter of survival. Even today, rejection can feel like a deep emotional wound, making us avoid decisions that might upset or disappoint others.

2. Childhood Conditioning

If you grew up in an environment where pleasing others was prioritized over personal needs, you may have learned that your worth is tied to making other people happy. Over time, this can make it incredibly difficult to make independent decisions without seeking approval.

3. The Perfectionism Trap

Many perfectionists struggle with decision-making because they want to “get it right.” And often, they look to others for reassurance before making a move—because if someone else approves, it must mean they’re on the right track, right? The problem is, perfection is an illusion, and waiting for the “right” choice often leads to no choice at all.

4. Lack of Self-Trust

When you’ve spent years outsourcing your decisions to others, it’s no wonder you struggle to trust yourself. The more we rely on external validation, the weaker our inner voice becomes. But the good news? Self-trust is something you can build.

How to Stop Letting Other People’s Opinions Control You

1. Get Clear on What You Actually Want

Sometimes, we’re so used to considering what others think that we don’t even know what we want. Take a moment to check in with yourself: If no one else had an opinion about this, what would I choose? If that feels overwhelming, start small—practice making tiny decisions (what to eat, what to wear) without asking for input.

2. Notice When You’re Seeking Reassurance

Do you constantly ask for advice before making a decision? Do you second-guess yourself even after making a choice? Start noticing when you default to external validation. Awareness is the first step to breaking the cycle.

3. Challenge the Fear of Disapproval

Ask yourself: What’s the worst that could happen if someone disapproves of my choice? Will it actually have long-term consequences, or is it just uncomfortable in the moment? More often than not, the fear of disappointing others is much worse than the reality.

4. Build Self-Trust by Taking Small Risks

Confidence in decision-making isn’t something you’re born with—it’s built through action. Start making more decisions on your own, even if they’re small. Over time, your brain will learn that you are capable of choosing what’s right for you.

5. Set Boundaries with People Who Undermine Your Choices

If certain people always make you doubt yourself, it may be time to set boundaries. That doesn’t mean you have to cut them out of your life—it just means you don’t need to invite their opinions into your decision-making process.

You Can Learn to Trust Yourself

Letting go of external validation doesn’t happen overnight. But the more you practice listening to yourself—without immediately running to others for reassurance—the stronger your self-trust will become. And with self-trust comes confidence, clarity, and the ability to make decisions that align with your values and desires.

Remember: Your life is yours. Make choices that feel right for you.